Working parents, what do you do with kids on weekday evenings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people in this thread are living these fantasy lives. Pre-pandemic when people were not WFH, this is exactly the schedule my husband and I had. It's also the schedule I know most families with dual working parents had. Now its like everyone is making 7 figures and works 10 - 3 and can do 3:15 school pickup.

Even before Covid I didn’t know a soul who left their kid at daycare/aftercare until 6pm. Parents shifted schedules so one dropped off and one picked up.

Wow. Really? I picked up everyday at 6 pm and the aftercare was always mobbed at that time. You are really privileged. Hope you now recognize it and work on giving back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Kids are 4 and 7. Both of them love daycare/ES aftercare, and I pick them up on the way home. They are both 2-10 min away from my home. They often fight or make an entire mess with toys everywhere if they play together without me sitting there. I have hundreds of books, and they can read if they want. 7 year old does not really play anymore. 4 year old can't read books. They have zero homework to do.

They are picky eater in different way. We do carryout 1-3 times every week. I often use rice cooker, oven, air fryer and do pan fry/stir fry. Thank you for some recipes, I will look at them. 7 year old is out 7:30am to 6:30pm-7pm. 4 year old is out 8:45am to 6:30-7pm. I think they have enough sleep. I like shower before bedtime for hygiene reason. They are messy eaters. I am not used to prep food in advance. Do you use one-time use zip loc bags or plastic /reusable containers? How do you store prep food for cooking?

The reasons that they are not home till 6:30pm at earliest because they have soccer practice, ballet class or gynmastic class. On weekends, they have ice skating, soccer game or cub scout activities or swimming classes.

Instead of aftercare, use the ballet or martial arts aftercares. That way kids will get their activities and it's less daycare. Our ballet picks up kids from school in a bus.

[Anonymous]

Some suggestions to make your evenings easier:

While you cook:
Option A. Have your kids do a non-screen activity. Play with toys, do a puzzle, read books. Do you have a table in or near your kitchen where the kids can play near you? We set up a small folding table in the corner of our kitchen where the kids (preschool and elementary school) play with play-doh or sand. Having them nearby means I can talk to them about their day while they play and I cook. I'm not opposed to screentime, but you seem to have a lot of it and if your kids are hyper, doing something active (rather than a screen) might help them wind down.

Option B. Put them in the bath (assuming you trust them both not to drown by themselves or get too messy during dinner) while you make dinner. This keeps them contained and occupied and checks this task off the list early. Eat dinner after the bath, then read a book as part of bedtime.

Option C. If you really want to keep the screentime, try watching something together while you make dinner. This might mean setting up a small TV or tablet in the kitchen that you can all see while you cook. You mentioned sometimes watching the news with them, so this might be a good time to do that. Or watch something educational, if you prefer.

Make easier/faster dinners or prep them in advance and just reheat. There are cookbooks at the library or lots of online resources for easy meal planning. I'm a fan of the cookbook Carpool Cooks. It has a lot of one-pan meals with instructions for freezing and reheating, designed to feed busy families. Or make pasta with a side of cherry tomatoes. Or designate a night (or two) to getting take out. No shame in that! Save complicated cooking for the weekends when you have more time.

Get your kids to bed and then take your break on the couch.

Don't worry about adding educational activities. You don't have time for it. Reading a book or playing with them at this age is going to be enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the problem is mostly your schedule. Try to have a parent home by 530. Also stop screens after dinner.

Maybe OP should drop her kids at before care at 7 am?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people in this thread are living these fantasy lives. Pre-pandemic when people were not WFH, this is exactly the schedule my husband and I had. It's also the schedule I know most families with dual working parents had. Now its like everyone is making 7 figures and works 10 - 3 and can do 3:15 school pickup.

Even before Covid I didn’t know a soul who left their kid at daycare/aftercare until 6pm. Parents shifted schedules so one dropped off and one picked up.

Really? You must not know very many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the problem is mostly your schedule. Try to have a parent home by 530. Also stop screens after dinner.

Maybe OP should drop her kids at before care at 7 am?

NP- Her and her husband should stagger their schedules. My dh drops off late and I pick up early.

[Anonymous]

We have an after school sitter. She’s 18 and in HS. I’m at work right now, I prepared my kids dinner last night. When I say prepared I thought about it ahead of time. She’s having a chicken burger on a bun with peas/carrots.
Sitter will heat that up and feed her, DD will do homework. Then they’ll go for a walk or play soccer outside. Sometimes sitter drives DD to activities depending on the day. I get home at 640 and can focus on DD. I’m tired after working 12 hours but it is what it is. I rally for an hour….. DD is in bed at 8 reading, light out at 845.
Your kids go to bed pretty late.
You need to rally for them. Do easier meals at least 2-3 nights a week. Cheese/crackers/ fruit are fine. Time with you is more important than a hot meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Kids are 4 and 7. Both of them love daycare/ES aftercare, and I pick them up on the way home. They are both 2-10 min away from my home. They often fight or make an entire mess with toys everywhere if they play together without me sitting there. I have hundreds of books, and they can read if they want. 7 year old does not really play anymore. 4 year old can't read books. They have zero homework to do.

They are picky eater in different way. We do carryout 1-3 times every week. I often use rice cooker, oven, air fryer and do pan fry/stir fry. Thank you for some recipes, I will look at them. 7 year old is out 7:30am to 6:30pm-7pm. 4 year old is out 8:45am to 6:30-7pm. I think they have enough sleep. I like shower before bedtime for hygiene reason. They are messy eaters. I am not used to prep food in advance. Do you use one-time use zip loc bags or plastic /reusable containers? How do you store prep food for cooking?

The reasons that they are not home till 6:30pm at earliest because they have soccer practice, ballet class or gynmastic class. On weekends, they have ice skating, soccer game or cub scout activities or swimming classes.

OP this is absurd. And no they do NOT need educational activities after being gone for 12 hours. Dial back the activities. And damn let them make a mess with TOYS. And no, this is NOT enough sleep for these ages. No wonder YOU are exhausted.

[Anonymous]

You will be criticized no matter what. I posted a while back that my nanny feeds the kids so that when I get home (or stop working) at 6, I only hav to focus on homework and enjoying my kids. I was flamed because I never have dinner with my kids during the week.

You are doing your best OP. You need to work. Your kids are thriving. A little tv at night is not bad.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have this exact schedule right now as full time working parents with demanding jobs.

We use the "fast and fresh" or "oven ready" option from Home Chef meals or Factor during the work week. While we are prepping those our son (age 7) watches tv from 6:30-7. We eat dinner from 7 to around 730/7:45. We bring our son upstairs by 8pm for his bedtime routine (bathing/brushing teeth, etc) and then spend 15-30 mins with him reading or practicing math depending on what time we got him upstairs. We take turns reading/practicing math with him based on who is more exhausted that day but we are usually both present during the bedtime routine.

Honestly, we just don't end up decompressing during the work week.

[Anonymous]

Play games, read, listen to music, sometimes watch a show together. We don't do solo screen time in the evening (not me, not kids). Sometimes we will read independently or do other solo activities (I'll crochet while they draw, or I'll sketch while they build legos) but solo screen time is a no-go. It's too alienating for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people in this thread are living these fantasy lives. Pre-pandemic when people were not WFH, this is exactly the schedule my husband and I had. It's also the schedule I know most families with dual working parents had. Now its like everyone is making 7 figures and works 10 - 3 and can do 3:15 school pickup.

Even before Covid I didn’t know a soul who left their kid at daycare/aftercare until 6pm. Parents shifted schedules so one dropped off and one picked up.

I did. Many single parents do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have this exact schedule right now as full time working parents with demanding jobs.

We use the "fast and fresh" or "oven ready" option from Home Chef meals or Factor during the work week. While we are prepping those our son (age 7) watches tv from 6:30-7. We eat dinner from 7 to around 730/7:45. We bring our son upstairs by 8pm for his bedtime routine (bathing/brushing teeth, etc) and then spend 15-30 mins with him reading or practicing math depending on what time we got him upstairs. We take turns reading/practicing math with him based on who is more exhausted that day but we are usually both present during the bedtime routine.

Honestly, we just don't end up decompressing during the work week.

[Anonymous]

The issue is too many lessons. That's why your kids need the screens before/after dinner. Because they have had very busy days. If for whatever reason you don't want to scale back on bedtime, I'd at least try to read in bed with each one, for some one-on-one cuddle time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people in this thread are living these fantasy lives. Pre-pandemic when people were not WFH, this is exactly the schedule my husband and I had. It's also the schedule I know most families with dual working parents had. Now its like everyone is making 7 figures and works 10 - 3 and can do 3:15 school pickup.

Even before Covid I didn’t know a soul who left their kid at daycare/aftercare until 6pm. Parents shifted schedules so one dropped off and one picked up.

Then you clearly weren't at my daycare/aftercare program. For those that live near/outside the Beltway with jobs in DC it was not unusual.

That's pretty sad. I guess that's a silver lining of Covid then. I wouldn't live somewhere where both parents had a commute like that, certainly not in this day.

NP. I guess you are not aware of the real estate market then. I 'm not local to this board, but I live an hour from my job in Big City, because I can actually afford to live in Former Small Exurb.

OP-it would help to really simplify weeknight dinners. Make a 1 or 2 week rotating schedule, stock up on the weekend, and keep meal prep-cooking to a minimum during the week. That leaves more time with the kids.