Working parents, what do you do with kids on weekday evenings?

[Anonymous]

You’re gonna miss this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people in this thread are living these fantasy lives. Pre-pandemic when people were not WFH, this is exactly the schedule my husband and I had. It's also the schedule I know most families with dual working parents had. Now its like everyone is making 7 figures and works 10 - 3 and can do 3:15 school pickup.

Even before Covid I didn’t know a soul who left their kid at daycare/aftercare until 6pm. Parents shifted schedules so one dropped off and one picked up.

Then you clearly weren't at my daycare/aftercare program. For those that live near/outside the Beltway with jobs in DC it was not unusual.

That's pretty sad. I guess that's a silver lining of Covid then. I wouldn't live somewhere where both parents had a commute like that, certainly not in this day.

NP. I guess you are not aware of the real estate market then. I 'm not local to this board, but I live an hour from my job in Big City, because I can actually afford to live in Former Small Exurb.

OP-it would help to really simplify weeknight dinners. Make a 1 or 2 week rotating schedule, stock up on the weekend, and keep meal prep-cooking to a minimum during the week. That leaves more time with the kids.

So get a WFH job and stop commuting to “Big City.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people in this thread are living these fantasy lives. Pre-pandemic when people were not WFH, this is exactly the schedule my husband and I had. It's also the schedule I know most families with dual working parents had. Now its like everyone is making 7 figures and works 10 - 3 and can do 3:15 school pickup.

Even before Covid I didn’t know a soul who left their kid at daycare/aftercare until 6pm. Parents shifted schedules so one dropped off and one picked up.

Then you clearly weren't at my daycare/aftercare program. For those that live near/outside the Beltway with jobs in DC it was not unusual.

That's pretty sad. I guess that's a silver lining of Covid then. I wouldn't live somewhere where both parents had a commute like that, certainly not in this day.

NP. I guess you are not aware of the real estate market then. I 'm not local to this board, but I live an hour from my job in Big City, because I can actually afford to live in Former Small Exurb.

OP-it would help to really simplify weeknight dinners. Make a 1 or 2 week rotating schedule, stock up on the weekend, and keep meal prep-cooking to a minimum during the week. That leaves more time with the kids.

So get a WFH job and stop commuting to “Big City.”

Not everyone can WFH you tone deaf people! Physicians, teachers, child psychologists, too many more to list…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people in this thread are living these fantasy lives. Pre-pandemic when people were not WFH, this is exactly the schedule my husband and I had. It's also the schedule I know most families with dual working parents had. Now its like everyone is making 7 figures and works 10 - 3 and can do 3:15 school pickup.

Even before Covid I didn’t know a soul who left their kid at daycare/aftercare until 6pm. Parents shifted schedules so one dropped off and one picked up.

Then you clearly weren't at my daycare/aftercare program. For those that live near/outside the Beltway with jobs in DC it was not unusual.

That's pretty sad. I guess that's a silver lining of Covid then. I wouldn't live somewhere where both parents had a commute like that, certainly not in this day.

NP. I guess you are not aware of the real estate market then. I 'm not local to this board, but I live an hour from my job in Big City, because I can actually afford to live in Former Small Exurb.

OP-it would help to really simplify weeknight dinners. Make a 1 or 2 week rotating schedule, stock up on the weekend, and keep meal prep-cooking to a minimum during the week. That leaves more time with the kids.

So get a WFH job and stop commuting to “Big City.”

How about you stop being a jackass, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people in this thread are living these fantasy lives. Pre-pandemic when people were not WFH, this is exactly the schedule my husband and I had. It's also the schedule I know most families with dual working parents had. Now its like everyone is making 7 figures and works 10 - 3 and can do 3:15 school pickup.

Even before Covid I didn’t know a soul who left their kid at daycare/aftercare until 6pm. Parents shifted schedules so one dropped off and one picked up.

I did. Many single parents do.

DCUM doesn't support single parents! They like to pretend they don't exist.

[Anonymous]

My days aren’t so long (thank goodness — I don’t know how to do it, OP!) but I’m definitely tired when my kids are home in the evenings. I prioritize wearing them out tbh. My older kid’s elementary school is across the street with aftercare that runs to 6, but I pick her up at 4 and have her walk with me the 1.5 mile round trip to collect her brother from daycare and he walks at least partway home. We’re usually home by 5:30 and I do something easy for most weeknight dinners. Since I work from home I can do some meal prep during my lunch break but I don’t always have time. Here are some things we’ve had in the last week:

- peanut butter and jam sandwiches with carrots
- couscous cooked in beef broth with brown lentils and frozen peas (cook the lentils and couscous separately then mix together and toss in the peas and stir for a few minutes until peas are heated and the whole dish is a comfortable temperature to eat)
- golden curry with chickpeas, zucchini, and spinach on rice (sometimes convenience food are where it’s at)
- bacon and eggs scrambled with frozen corn and spinach on toast
- pasta with avocado, cherry tomatoes, and Parmesan (cook pasta, slice avocados, dump on pasta and stir)

I am very behind on it this week so this is all pretty slapdash but I also do a lot of preparing stews and soups on the weekend and freezing them. In general I make enough for 4+ meals, where we have the dish one night, then for leftovers a few nights later and the rest gets frozen.

While I’m prepping dinner and while I’m cleaning up after I encourage my kids to run around playing indoor tag or similar. Thinking of starting an after dinner walk around the block as part of the evening routine now that my little one is staying up a bit later. We do bath-books-bed starting at 7 and the kids are asleep between 8 and 9 (depending on if they napped and how successful in was at the exhausting them part of the evening).

I can’t imagine priorizing education in the evenings; that’s what the day is for. Evenings are for play, books, (doom scrolling but I’m trying to get better about this), and home chores. I find it helps me to prioritize non energetic chores that I can do while watching the kids play to stop me from just staring exhaustedly at my phone — if in tell myself l I’m going to sew a patch on my kid’s trousers or sort laundry I am likely to actually do that whereas there’s no way I’m going clean the bathroom at night.

[Anonymous]

First, your DH has to pitch in. It’s not fair on your kids to be stuck on tablets/computer when they walk in, and it’s not fair on you to do everything.

Plan meals at the weekend (that NY times white bean bake is a game changer, and takes no time at all) and also plan what you want your kids to be doing while you cook. Right not we’re “working on” our Halloween costumes— the glue things on felt stages can last forever— but simple board games (sure with a drink if your husband insists) or soon painting leaves, reading books, trip to the library (with the parent who isn’t cooking) and then as others have said an earlier bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth are you doing so much screen time, after not seeing them all day AND getting home so late?

+1
Sounds like a nightmare existence.

[Anonymous]

I work in an office downtown and live in Fairfax. And I am home by 5 almost every day. Because that is what this season of life requires. My kids have sports practices nearly every day so our evenings are rushed in a different way than yours- quick dinner, out the door, quick snack, bed time. On days we don't have practices we go for a walk, go to the playground or maybe run an errand. There are usually kids riding bikes in the neighborhood and my kids will join in.

Anyway my point is mainly to note that you need to figure out a work schedule that had a spouse home earlier each day. Like I said, I do it even with a messy commute. My team knows that days I'm working in the office I leave at 4pm. But from 9 to 4 I am very dedicated and available and fully focused on work. From 4pm on I'm focused on my family. It is possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in an office downtown and live in Fairfax. And I am home by 5 almost every day. Because that is what this season of life requires. My kids have sports practices nearly every day so our evenings are rushed in a different way than yours- quick dinner, out the door, quick snack, bed time. On days we don't have practices we go for a walk, go to the playground or maybe run an errand. There are usually kids riding bikes in the neighborhood and my kids will join in.

Anyway my point is mainly to note that you need to figure out a work schedule that had a spouse home earlier each day. Like I said, I do it even with a messy commute. My team knows that days I'm working in the office I leave at 4pm. But from 9 to 4 I am very dedicated and available and fully focused on work. From 4pm on I'm focused on my family. It is possible.

Sorry but this kind of post is totally unhelpful to OP. If she could just leave at 4 PM she would. I get where you are coming from (I work full time but with totally flexible hours and pick my kids up at 3:15 every day), but the title of this post is not “what kind of job can I have that is flexible for work/life balance.” I assume OP cannot just change her job that easily.

OP, a few thoughts:

Maybe you can do books on tape instead of screen time? Divide the kids up so one kid is coloring and one is “helping” in the kitchen?

You got some good meal ideas. I prep food to bake and leave it in Pyrex/glass baking pans, then just pop in the oven. If your kids will eat salmon you can just bake that for 20 min with a premade sauce. I do very simple veg like boil kale or collards for a few minutes and dress with oil and salt. I also pack veggies for school snacks so they get a little extra during the day.

Sounds like your four year old naps. Soon they will drop the nap and then you’ll be able to get everyone off to bed sooner.

Don’t feel bad. Even with my schedule where I pick up early, I’m exhausted by 9 with all the dinner prep, driving to activities, washing up, homework and practice supervising. Try to give yourself some grace.

[Anonymous]

I have a 7 year old and toddler. Nanny gives them baths around 5 and then feeds them around 5:30/6. They play until 6:30. My husband starts dinner at 6 and we eat at 6:30 when the nanny leaves. The baby crawls all over us while we eat and older DC plays. DH and I take turns who puts which kid to bed. At 7, one parent washes dishes, helps older DC practice piano, and reads with older DC. Other parent puts baby to bed. Baby is asleep by 7:30 and the parent that put baby to bed exercises that night after. Seven year old takes until 8:30/9 to get to bed. The schedule is working pretty smoothly but it’s taken us a lot of experimenting to land on something that works. As soon as the toddler can climb out of her crib I’m sure we’ll be back at the drawing board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people in this thread are living these fantasy lives. Pre-pandemic when people were not WFH, this is exactly the schedule my husband and I had. It's also the schedule I know most families with dual working parents had. Now its like everyone is making 7 figures and works 10 - 3 and can do 3:15 school pickup.

Even before Covid I didn’t know a soul who left their kid at daycare/aftercare until 6pm. Parents shifted schedules so one dropped off and one picked up.

Then you clearly weren't at my daycare/aftercare program. For those that live near/outside the Beltway with jobs in DC it was not unusual.

That's pretty sad. I guess that's a silver lining of Covid then. I wouldn't live somewhere where both parents had a commute like that, certainly not in this day.

NP. I guess you are not aware of the real estate market then. I 'm not local to this board, but I live an hour from my job in Big City, because I can actually afford to live in Former Small Exurb.

OP-it would help to really simplify weeknight dinners. Make a 1 or 2 week rotating schedule, stock up on the weekend, and keep meal prep-cooking to a minimum during the week. That leaves more time with the kids.

So get a WFH job and stop commuting to “Big City.”

Not everyone can WFH you tone deaf people! Physicians, teachers, child psychologists, too many more to list…

Those jobs exist in the suburbs. Why do people pretend the structure of their life happened by accident and they have no choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of you needs to be home earlier. Assuming one is in daycare, that is too late to be going ot bed unless you have very late mornings.

Can they spend time with you prepping dinner - make kid friendly meals or play a game on the island while you prep dinner?

They don't need anything extra educational - they just need time with you and sleep!

Doesn't seem like a good life for any of you. I would talk to your DH about making some changes to improve the quality of your lives. You only get to live each age and stage once.

+1 or you need more outsourcing so you are not cooking meals in the tiny sliver of time that you are home with them.

Agree this isn't about educational time but time to play, decompress, spend time with family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have this exact schedule right now as full time working parents with demanding jobs.

We use the "fast and fresh" or "oven ready" option from Home Chef meals or Factor during the work week. While we are prepping those our son (age 7) watches tv from 6:30-7. We eat dinner from 7 to around 730/7:45. We bring our son upstairs by 8pm for his bedtime routine (bathing/brushing teeth, etc) and then spend 15-30 mins with him reading or practicing math depending on what time we got him upstairs. We take turns reading/practicing math with him based on who is more exhausted that day but we are usually both present during the bedtime routine.

Honestly, we just don't end up decompressing during the work week.

Why are you shocked? A lot of parents practice math daily or several times a week. I know we do.

[Anonymous]

I have a list of 5 restaurants that deliver healthy meals. Things happen and when they do we use them. Otherwise, my meals are easy, like baked salmon and sweet potatoes, rotisserie chicken with the mashed potatoes from costco that are ready to heat, sheet lasagna, etc.

I disagree with those arguing against doing anything educational with the kids in the evenings - I've always spent 30-45 minutes a night reading to them, reviewing homework, or doing some supplemental work. We do it together so it's not a drag. It emphasizes that we care about their education and establishes good study habits.