Working parents, what do you do with kids on weekday evenings?
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Anonymous
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I don't like your schedule, so you should fix that. You don't have energy because you don't have enough sleep and your evening is exhausting, not fun.
-prep dinner the night before. Either get it to the point where you just reheat, or set it in the crock pot to be ready when you get home. -One of you needs to be home earlier. Can someone start work at 7? I work 7-4pm, that's 9 hours and I'm still home earlier than you. -everyone needs to go to bed earlier. Our schedule- 9 am- DH drops kids at daycare or school (school is earlier, he has 2 drop offs) 4pm- I leave work 4:30-I arrive home with a 3 kids in tow. I immediately throw snacks at them (they're hangry!) and we play outside for 30 min. Dinner is either heating or in the oven. 5pm- we all eat if DH is working late. If DH is home, we can wait until 5:45. We take a walk after dinner as a family. Then we do 30 min of educational stuff. Parents rotate helping kids, teaching them to read, math etc. 7pm- baby gets super quick bath, then the older 2 take baths while I put the baby to bed and read her baby books. 7:30- I read to the older 2 kids for 30 min. (this is the best part of all 3 of ours day) 8:15- they're in bed DH and I do chores for about an hour, prep dinner, then relax the rest of the night. If it's a nasty day outside or winter and dark, we play games together. Kids are obsessed with games. We do Trouble, Life, ticket to ride, Go Fish, Uno, headbanz, etc. |
Anonymous
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Agree with posters that say this is entirely too late for little kids to go to bed. I would:
Streamline dinner so that it's quick to table. Either crockpot/pressure cooker meals, prep evening before and ready to cook, freezer meals/ meal prep on Sunday, etc. If you're not getting home until 6:30 your kids need to be eating almost immediately. After dinner do an activity together. Walk, game, simple play, etc. Baths and into bed by 8. This would give you time to relax after kids are in bed and they'd be put on a better schedule. |
Anonymous
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If your kids need 15-20 minutes of crash time and you need the time to think and not be bothered, then allow educational apps or videos -- PBS KIDS, science, nature -- briefly, then kids help with dinner or at least do homework/read and then set the table. Take a walk after dinner, come back to clean up and prep the next day's packed lunches, then start getting ready for bed -- shower, pick out the next day's clothes, then read.
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Anonymous
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Can you afford a part-time babysitter? When my husband and I had a similar schedule to yours we had a college or grad student who would work 4-7. She would pick my kids up from daycare and either cook for us or play with them while I cooked. I relied on meal kits a lot so I didn't have to worry about what she would make. Before we had her, I would make two big meals on Sunday and we would eat one Monday Wednesday and the other Tuesday Thursday. Things we like to do during those times include games, puzzles, playing with toys, playing sports, going for a walk, or just chatting. Our schedule is a little different now, but my kids also really like cooking with me, so if I have to cook on a weeknight, we do it together. We have a firm no screens during the week rule (comes from the kids' school so they don't fight it too hard).
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Anonymous
| Parenting is a two person job when there are two parents in the house. If DH is working, fine. But more stressful job or not, when he's home he needs to contribute, not relax with a drink. That could be playing a game with the kids while having his drink, taking them outside while you make dinner, or putting dinner in the oven while you do early showers. There is zero excuse for you to be running yourself so hard that you don't have the energy to read your kids a book, while he gets to relax every evening. Please see the power imbalance in this scenario. You both have equal and valid stress, and you both deserve a chance to relax. It's not all on you just because your stress comes from (his!) children and not a job. |
Anonymous
| To answer the question in the title… we have multiple meltdowns. I need to implement some of the advice shared here. |
Anonymous
That’s way too late for the kids to go to bed. How old are they? I usually pick up my 6 year old from school around 4:30pm. I do let her watch a couple shows on her tablet while I make dinner. DH works late most days, so it’s DD and me for dinner. She goes to bed by 7:30/7:45 on school nights and between 8 and 8:30pm on weekend nights. The exception is Tuesdays, when she has soccer practice from 6-7pm. Then bedtime is closer to 8pm. |
Anonymous
| Can they shower while you're making dinner? That would give them downtime, but also freeing up time later in the evening. |
Anonymous
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I think I would just start by ending screen time after dinner. The kids can play with toys or whatever while you are taking a short break. I don't think you need to really overthink trying to find educational activities--reading a few books with the kids is fine. I don't know how old your kids are but once they get a little older, they're going to have homework or other activities to take up their time in the evening. To me, the important thing is cutting back on the screen time and doing something to spend time with them in the evening, even if it's just reading books or playing games.
There are a lot of quick and healthy dinner options but I think what will help you the most is just to plan ahead as much as you can. You can figure out your meal plan for the week over the weekend and ideally try to make enough dinner some nights that you can reheat leftovers later in the week, as that saves a lot of time (and depending on what you make, probably healthier than prepared foods like chicken nuggets, etc.). |
Anonymous
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All of the families we know that get home after 6:00 do a separate, quick kid dinner time without the parents. Rotisserie chicken (or make a batch of chicken on the weekends), pasta, frozen meatballs, quesadillas, etc. Whatever you can make in 15 minutes that your kids will eat without a fuss. That way dinner is over by 7:15, baths and bed is done by 8:00, and you have time to relax and make yourself dinner after they're in bed. They get more sleep, you have actual time to relax without having to hand your kids a tablet.
It's not ideal, but neither is what you're currently doing. Your schedule sounds unhealthy and unsustainable for everyone. Kudos to you for posting here and looking for help, I hope you can take some of this advice and make some changes. |
Anonymous
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We have two toddlers so realize it’s a bit different but kids get home from daycare around 6pm. We get dinner on the table by 6:15 or so - I’d love to improve the quality of the meals and frequency with which we eat as a family (vs just feeding kids) but this is what works for now. Typical meals are rotisserie chicken and frozen veggies, grilled cheese, leftover soup or pasta with frozen veggies, frozen fish — you get the idea. Not the best but being transparent! DH and I may eat with kids or eat after they go to bed.
After dinner, kids spend 10-20 minutes playing and bedtime routine is started by 7:15pm / asleep by 7:45 or so. (We don’t do baths every night.) |
Anonymous
Ditto. I'm OK with parents having a drink, but not enough that you have to be checked out for the rest of the night. My other thought was -- do you have a yard? If so, you can throw something on the grill and the kids can play near you. |
Anonymous
| This is really late for most little kids and im sorry that everyone is exhausted. We have a pre-k and 2nd grader. Home by 5:30 for all most days. Oldest gets off the bus at 4:30 and DH is home (WFH) so she empties lunch box, reads, chills on days shes not in aftercare. Kids get screen time 5:30-6 if they ask while i make dinner. Dinner 6-6:45. After we do 15-20 min of homework with the oldest while the little one draws or plays cards with a parent. We do a family card game or board game or kids dancing, family walk until 7:45. Quick shower or longer bath depending on the day. A parent takes each kid and reads them a book they cant read themselves. Tuck into bed at 8:30 and kids can read for 10 min themselves if they want to. If we have activities, dinner is at 6:30 as we aim for 5 pm activities. We do takeout or leftovers on activity days. I prep dinner for 2 days and just do fresh vegetables. Nothing complicated. Things like stews and lasagna is made after kids go to bed. I got to bed by 10 as kids are up at 6 and get a lot of playtime in the am before the bus at 8:30. |
Anonymous
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First of all, I'll state upfront that I think this is untenable. Unless you're living at or near poverty (and thus doing whatever you can to stay afloat) we would BOTH be looking for jobs with fewer hours or a shorter commute. We both work 9-5 M-F, everyone is home at 5:30, and honestly, that's plenty when you've got little kids.
But aside from that - how old are your kids? If they're old enough to be going to bed after 9pm, they are old enough to shower on their own. I would have them shower while you make dinner. Dinner prep should be fast, so dinner at 7, done at 7:30. That gives you from 7:30-9pm. I would allow 30 minutes of screen time for everyone (you and the kids) until 8pm. That gives you 8pm-9pm for family stuff. Depending on the exact age of the kids, I'd try: board games, card games, something like Pictionary or Charades, arts and crafts (I find play doh is pretty fun for adults, drawing or coloring can be fun for everyone), puzzles (there are some that have some big pieces and some little piece so that people of all ages can work together, like this https://www.amazon.com/Ceaco-Disney-Bakery-Piece-Puzzle/dp/B08H9ZH99X/ref=sr_1_2), word games, verbal/car games like 20 Questions, going for a family walk, play catch in the back yard, bake together in the kitchen? I see other people suggesting toys and things like magnatiles, but if you're already tired and struggling to interact together as a family, I would aim for something that's fun for all of you (rather than something you just tolerate), something that's a bit more "all ages." So think about your interests. Do you like board games, crafts, exercise? Also - I know you're tired, but if you're just going from one chore to the next with some time on screens, you're not get any restorative breaks either. The pull of screens is so strong, but if you switched to doing one of the above activities for an hour instead, you'd struggle at first and then I think you'll find you're less exhausted at the end of the day. |
Anonymous
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Op here. Kids are 4 and 7. Both of them love daycare/ES aftercare, and I pick them up on the way home. They are both 2-10 min away from my home. They often fight or make an entire mess with toys everywhere if they play together without me sitting there. I have hundreds of books, and they can read if they want. 7 year old does not really play anymore. 4 year old can't read books. They have zero homework to do.
They are picky eater in different way. We do carryout 1-3 times every week. I often use rice cooker, oven, air fryer and do pan fry/stir fry. Thank you for some recipes, I will look at them. 7 year old is out 7:30am to 6:30pm-7pm. 4 year old is out 8:45am to 6:30-7pm. I think they have enough sleep. I like shower before bedtime for hygiene reason. They are messy eaters. I am not used to prep food in advance. Do you use one-time use zip loc bags or plastic /reusable containers? How do you store prep food for cooking? The reasons that they are not home till 6:30pm at earliest because they have soccer practice, ballet class or gynmastic class. On weekends, they have ice skating, soccer game or cub scout activities or swimming classes. |