When should the grooms parents chip in on a wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If bride's parents can't afford to pay for the type of wedding that the couple wants, shouldn't the grooms family step up and contribute? What are the rules now for paying for a wedding?

The couple should be able to afford most of the cost of the wedding. If the groom’s parents can’t chip in, then the couple should make adjustments.

[Anonymous]

In 2023 this could be a group effort. Those old rules are dumb. What about a gay couple? Which side pays? What if it is someone’s second wedding? My son is getting married next year. It will be a group effort (brides parents, us parents and the couple). Not fancy..

[Anonymous]

I've seen GoFundMe for a wedding and know someone who went in debt to throw a fancy party but got divorced next year due to hardship and blame game.

[Anonymous]

Adults pay for themselves. Their parents should not pay anything.

[Anonymous]

My son got married last week. Him and his bride paid for most of the wedding themselves but they wanted a simple wedding …80 people at an outdoor ceremony then reception in a restored grist mill. It was simple, beautiful, and a collaborative effort between both families as we created decor and an elaborate dessert table . It was a lot of fun and it was very memorable and meaningful for both of them .

My DIL and I grew dahlias in my garden which she used on the tables, my son and I planted and tended overflowing flower pots that lined the walkways , etc.

The brides family and my dh and I each contributed equal amounts to their special day and split the cost of rehearsal dinner.

But I think it’s important for the ones getting married to pay for the majority of a wedding themselves. Any gifts from the parents on either side should just be icing on the cake .

[Anonymous]

BTW the bride side PAYS for wedding 100 percent.

Groom side pays 100 percent limo, rehearsal dinner, engagement ring, honeymoon and place to live.

I got married a long time ago and my wife’s side paid 100 percent.

But i paid 7 night honey moon Hawaii
$8,000 engagement ring
My parents rehearsal dinner
And then I paid 20 percent down on house and put wife’s name on deed.

More than happy to pay 100 percent daughters wedding under these rules

[Anonymous]

Trouble with all the discussion here if wedding is crap people blame brides parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: BTW the bride side PAYS for wedding 100 percent.

Groom side pays 100 percent limo, rehearsal dinner, engagement ring, honeymoon and place to live.

I got married a long time ago and my wife’s side paid 100 percent.

But i paid 7 night honey moon Hawaii
$8,000 engagement ring
My parents rehearsal dinner
And then I paid 20 percent down on house and put wife’s name on deed.

More than happy to pay 100 percent daughters wedding under these rules

This is all outdated, now that women don’t go straight from their parents’ house to their marital home. It is a discussion to be had, and every family will be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trouble with all the discussion here if wedding is crap people blame brides parents.

Um, no. No one does that. And frankly, my parents wouldn’t have given a good goddamn about anyone’s opinion.

[Anonymous]

I got married at 35 to a 46 year old. We had a very small ceremony and a second line (we’re from New Orleans and the band was childhood friends of mine). I, the bride, paid for everything, which was collectively under $10k all said and done. There’s no reason my parents who are in their 70s should have to come up with money when they’re retired and on a fixed income. I think/hope that becomes more of the norm as people continue to marry later in life.

[Anonymous]

We paid for our own wedding -100%. No it was very fancy or anything but we are proud of the fact that we did that. And this was in 1989. Asking parents to pay seems outdated.

[Anonymous]

You tell your daughter what the budget is - the same way you told your child what the college budget was.
Your daughter and her fiancé manage their plans within that budget.
If they want things outside of the budget, either they pay for them OR they ask his family.

My niece is getting married and the grooms family had a list of friends who needed to be invited. They told the parents it was not in the budget and the parents covered the cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one should have to fund an expensive wedding if the couple can't afford it.

If grooms parents would like to chip in and can afford to, that is lovely. But sticking them with the bill because the couple can't afford it is gross and entitled.

+1

We paid for our own years ago. We did what we could. People will complain regardless of what kind of wedding (as we have seen on DCUM). Tell the bride and grrom to only do what they can. If they have to have it in someone's back yard, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adults pay for themselves. Their parents should not pay anything.

x100000

[Anonymous]

Agree with all the PPs who state that why are the parents paying for a social media spectacle?

No is a full answer, OP.