When should the grooms parents chip in on a wedding?

[Anonymous]

Like a PP, my family paid for a portion of my college and a portion of my house down payment. I did not expect anything for a wedding and they did not offer. I agree it is a horrible waste of money. The entitlement I read on these pages is ghastly. You are an adult -- pay for your own wedding. Imagine being 28 years old and asking mommy and daddy for non-emergency money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We happily paid for three weddings for our three daughters, which ranged in cost from around $40k to $100k depending on what they wanted. We didn’t ask or expect the grooms’ families to pay for anything, but accepted whatever they offered to contribute. While none actually contribute to the wedding costs themselves, they did things like hood very, very nice rehearsal dinners - one probably cost as much as many weddings! - gave the newlyweds large cash gifts, etc.

All of the brides were in their mid to late 20s on their wedding days.

Did you help with their college costs too?

Yes. We paid 100 percent of their college costs and also gave them down payments for their houses. We also help out full time with child care. None of them has literally had to spend one cent on that. No Nannies and no day care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does not having a wedding save money?

I got married engagement ring, honeymoon. That I do without or without a big wedding reception.

The actual wedding reception itself cost me way back 25 years ago 20k and I got 20k in checks.

With or without reception same cost.

not everyone gets that much in wedding gifts.

But you know that pre-wedding. My wife and I had old siblings already married. So we knew roughly the total

My older sister just wrote it down on a piece of paper gift amounts as cash and checks for her thank youd.

My brother took that list made it Excel type in guests my side of family and added gift amount sisters wedding, then his wedding. I updated list added gift amount my wedding then handed it to sister. My wife had similar thing.

Now with guests at friend level I had been to most of their weddings and know what I gave.

The generous $1,000 uncle and cheapskate $25 uncle gave the same four weddings in a row.

My study was at our 100 person wedding, 10 were cash cows. 80 covered plate and 10 were cash suckers. If I had a 200 person wedding I would have lost a ton.

And you have to make wedding really nice as the $1,000 people don’t want a crap wedding

[Anonymous]

In our community, bride and her family pays for a small intimate ceremony while groom and her family pays for the dress, than there is a shared large reception next day equally paid by both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does not having a wedding save money?

I got married engagement ring, honeymoon. That I do without or without a big wedding reception.

The actual wedding reception itself cost me way back 25 years ago 20k and I got 20k in checks.

With or without reception same cost.

not everyone gets that much in wedding gifts.

This is a sad and materialistic post. Just have a small wedding where you invite people you love and not care about how much they donate to your wedding chicken.

But you know that pre-wedding. My wife and I had old siblings already married. So we knew roughly the total

My older sister just wrote it down on a piece of paper gift amounts as cash and checks for her thank youd.

My brother took that list made it Excel type in guests my side of family and added gift amount sisters wedding, then his wedding. I updated list added gift amount my wedding then handed it to sister. My wife had similar thing.

Now with guests at friend level I had been to most of their weddings and know what I gave.

The generous $1,000 uncle and cheapskate $25 uncle gave the same four weddings in a row.

My study was at our 100 person wedding, 10 were cash cows. 80 covered plate and 10 were cash suckers. If I had a 200 person wedding I would have lost a ton.

And you have to make wedding really nice as the $1,000 people don’t want a crap wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does not having a wedding save money?

I got married engagement ring, honeymoon. That I do without or without a big wedding reception.

The actual wedding reception itself cost me way back 25 years ago 20k and I got 20k in checks.

With or without reception same cost.

not everyone gets that much in wedding gifts.

But you know that pre-wedding. My wife and I had old siblings already married. So we knew roughly the total

My older sister just wrote it down on a piece of paper gift amounts as cash and checks for her thank youd.

My brother took that list made it Excel type in guests my side of family and added gift amount sisters wedding, then his wedding. I updated list added gift amount my wedding then handed it to sister. My wife had similar thing.

Now with guests at friend level I had been to most of their weddings and know what I gave.

The generous $1,000 uncle and cheapskate $25 uncle gave the same four weddings in a row.

My study was at our 100 person wedding, 10 were cash cows. 80 covered plate and 10 were cash suckers. If I had a 200 person wedding I would have lost a ton.

And you have to make wedding really nice as the $1,000 people don’t want a crap wedding

This is a sad and materialistic post. Just have a small wedding where you invite people you love and not care about how much they donate to your wedding chicken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does not having a wedding save money?

I got married engagement ring, honeymoon. That I do without or without a big wedding reception.

The actual wedding reception itself cost me way back 25 years ago 20k and I got 20k in checks.

With or without reception same cost.

not everyone gets that much in wedding gifts.

But you know that pre-wedding. My wife and I had old siblings already married. So we knew roughly the total

My older sister just wrote it down on a piece of paper gift amounts as cash and checks for her thank youd.

My brother took that list made it Excel type in guests my side of family and added gift amount sisters wedding, then his wedding. I updated list added gift amount my wedding then handed it to sister. My wife had similar thing.

Now with guests at friend level I had been to most of their weddings and know what I gave.

The generous $1,000 uncle and cheapskate $25 uncle gave the same four weddings in a row.

My study was at our 100 person wedding, 10 were cash cows. 80 covered plate and 10 were cash suckers. If I had a 200 person wedding I would have lost a ton.

And you have to make wedding really nice as the $1,000 people don’t want a crap wedding

This is a sad and materialistic post. Just have a small wedding where you invite people you love and not care about how much they donate to your wedding chicken.

I Did that is why I only had 100 people. But you do realize you have to know your audience. I was very serious awhile with this wealthy Italian girl from a big family. But when I was making 40k and she was making 40k we talked about our wedding. Was going to be at least 300-400 people $250 a person back in 1992.

Yes a $75,000 wedding. But her family is very generous. Literally uncles and aunts $5,000 checks. And Dad was paying for it all. I think I would have cleared $250,000 to $300,000. I also was going to buy her a $20,000 engagement ring.

Third girl I almost married nice down to earth “blue collar” Irish girl with Dad on disability supposed was a construction worker who lived in a shack. She was beautiful. But that would have been a VFH Hall with tap beer catered with a buffet and a DJ. Lucky to get $50 buck gift.

I am throwing the party for the guests. That Italian girl I went to her cousins Engagement party which cost $40,000. That couple was 23.

I also went to a $100,000 wedding with that girl in 1990!!! Never forget. father bride gave the couple a house as a gift and father of bride a new Mercedes convertible to new son in law. But once again checks were flying!!!

But the reception of it matches the gifts what is the cost.

Ironic part Italian girl got knocked up on a 1NS at 33 and her Italian Catholic Dad threw no wedding party. Justice of the peace she married him. I feel bad I broke up with her at 29. More so for the father not her

[Anonymous]

No rules.

Everyone is different. My DD is getting married and we pay for the wedding. Groom's family wants to pay something they can too.