when and how to discipline naughty behavior in 15 months old?

[Anonymous]

I started time out at 18 mos. I would say No in a loud serious voice then make her sit on the bottom step or the floor for a few seconds.
For the high chair issue I wouldn’t feed him or let him eat unless he’s sitting in it. If he wants to get down ask him if he’s done. We started baby sign language around 10 mis which helped because DD could sign, all done, more, etc.
can u give him a book or small toy while changing his diaper?

[Anonymous]

My tips:
-focus on telling him what TO do vs what NOT to do. Keep a neutral tone/disposition when he misbehaves so that he can’t play cause and effect canes with you (getting a reaction out of you for misbehavior).
-give him activities that really engage him and his mind. Kids like him (or like I’m imagining him) can be really exhausting. They need near constant engagement and attention. Usually because they are so bright! It’ll get better.

[Anonymous]

One other thing— catch him being good.

Praise extravagantly the behavior you do want. If he gets five minutes of mommy attention for throwing kibble and ten distracted seconds of praise for eating nearly…well baby logic is clear on what the preferred activity is.

And remind him of the thing he did so well. He does a good cooperative diaper change— praise him at the time, praise him afterward, and then 10-15 minutes later when you’re doing something else say “I thought it was amazing how you had calm legs when we changed your diaper before!” And give him a high five. Your attention is the most valuable thing to him so make sure it is being allocated to the behaviors you want to encourage. When he does screw up— be boring. Flatly tell him “I’m cleaning up now. When we’re messy we have to clean” and don’t be further responsive until the mess is clean and you’re on the next activity. That may mean you listen to a howling 15 MO for 2-3 minutes.

[Anonymous]

As others have said, he’s a baby and a complete blank slate. He’s learning about the world and you are his guide. He smiles. You smile back. He has no reason to think that smiling is good or bad but it makes you smile so it must be good. He throws a ball. You clap and say yay! That’s good. He throws food. You don’t clap but you run around making lots of noise and pick up the food. Is that good? Maybe not but it’s a fun game!

If you spank him, he isn’t going to associate the pain and fear with throwing food. His mind isn’t able to make that connection. He’s going to associate it with you and won’t understand why.

You’ve gotten good advice on reacting neutrally to behavior you don’t like. Stay calm and remove him from the situation. Set him up to succeed at diaper changing, eating, etc by learning what distracts him and what to change in your home to keep him on track.

When he gets older, there are much better ways to discipline and teach good behavior than physical violence. I found a variation of 1 2 3 magic that worked with my kids. You’ll find what works with your kid. Good luck! Toddlerhood is challenging but can be so much fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re: library story time. I'm a librarian, and most of the regulars for library story time are kids who are temperamentally more suited to sitting still and being quiet. It just self selects that way for the most part. The caregivers with the energetic kids tend to take them to the playground or a gym-type activity and those with the snuggly kids tend to take them to the library. So while it seemed like your kid was THE wild kid at the library, it is only because all the other kids there are the "shy/quiet" kid. Many of our regulars are kids who get overwhelmed easily and whose caregivers are hoping to help them break out of their shells a bit. We do get the energetic kids now and then and they are a lot of fun, though the parents are always embarrassed b/c the other kids seem so compliant. I try to explain this to them without making either type of kid seem better than the other because they aren't. YMMV

This is such a great and thoughtful response.

All these "just redirect" parents had easier kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: library story time. I'm a librarian, and most of the regulars for library story time are kids who are temperamentally more suited to sitting still and being quiet. It just self selects that way for the most part. The caregivers with the energetic kids tend to take them to the playground or a gym-type activity and those with the snuggly kids tend to take them to the library. So while it seemed like your kid was THE wild kid at the library, it is only because all the other kids there are the "shy/quiet" kid. Many of our regulars are kids who get overwhelmed easily and whose caregivers are hoping to help them break out of their shells a bit. We do get the energetic kids now and then and they are a lot of fun, though the parents are always embarrassed b/c the other kids seem so compliant. I try to explain this to them without making either type of kid seem better than the other because they aren't. YMMV

This is such a great and thoughtful response.

All these "just redirect" parents had easier kids.

+1 I've attempted to take my DS to story time and he's doesn't care for it. He will follow along in other mobile-type activities, but story time seems too sedentary. It's reassuring to hear that this behavior is normal from someone that is in that environment all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: library story time. I'm a librarian, and most of the regulars for library story time are kids who are temperamentally more suited to sitting still and being quiet. It just self selects that way for the most part. The caregivers with the energetic kids tend to take them to the playground or a gym-type activity and those with the snuggly kids tend to take them to the library. So while it seemed like your kid was THE wild kid at the library, it is only because all the other kids there are the "shy/quiet" kid. Many of our regulars are kids who get overwhelmed easily and whose caregivers are hoping to help them break out of their shells a bit. We do get the energetic kids now and then and they are a lot of fun, though the parents are always embarrassed b/c the other kids seem so compliant. I try to explain this to them without making either type of kid seem better than the other because they aren't. YMMV

This is such a great and thoughtful response.

All these "just redirect" parents had easier kids.

+1 I've attempted to take my DS to story time and he's doesn't care for it. He will follow along in other mobile-type activities, but story time seems too sedentary. It's reassuring to hear that this behavior is normal from someone that is in that environment all the time.

+1 I don't even try to bring my kid to "quiet events" my synagogue does this "music together" like class and they are always bugging me to join but i am not paying my money to force my kid screaming into the class - we do just fine running wild in the playground next door. So the quiet library kids are a self selected group.

[Anonymous]

I put on diaper standing up because she will not lay down. Sometimes stuff hit the floor. Oh well, I cleaned it.

15 months is a baby. Other than saying no and positive reinforcement, you are in the depths of it. You can laugh and roll with it or you can choose to call the baby naughty.

Find a sitter and take a couple of hours to yourself. Otlr you and a fellow mama can switch taking both kids for a little but so you can relax.

You need to make friends and hang out with other moms. The snippets at the library are short. Most women with 15 month olds are in the same place as you are.

[Anonymous]

all good advice- totally normal behavior. if you want to learn more about positive reinforcement and how to use positive opposites, i highly recommend this free online class. you can even have your parents watch it https://www.coursera.org/learn/everyday-parenting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "Naughty" word is disturbing to hear by a parent in reference to a 15 month old. Please, not said snarkily, but get to a parenting class ASAP to help develop a more reasonable set of expectations so you can support your son from the beginning, or this may turn into a huge problem later in life for both of you

Yep, this. Op needs a parenting class or a book on child development because she sounds like she knows literally nothing. I’m going to assume OP has been messing up from the beginning which is partly why her child is like this. Op do you struggle in other aspects of life too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "Naughty" word is disturbing to hear by a parent in reference to a 15 month old. Please, not said snarkily, but get to a parenting class ASAP to help develop a more reasonable set of expectations so you can support your son from the beginning, or this may turn into a huge problem later in life for both of you

Yep, this. Op needs a parenting class or a book on child development because she sounds like she knows literally nothing. I’m going to assume OP has been messing up from the beginning which is partly why her child is like this. Op do you struggle in other aspects of life too?

Oh shut up.

Her child is a normal 15 month old. You need a parenting class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that you are reinforcing behaviors you don't like with your reactions. It also sounds like you have things around the house that should be put away so he can't get into mischief-- like the kibble. Put it out of his reach. Don't give him food unless he is in his high chair. He won't be able to stomp on it. If he throws food, take him out of the high chair and do something else.

He sounds like he is bored. I would have him play outside as much as possible to tire him out for his naps.

There are lots of things you can do. I recommend parent training. it is life changing

Care to share what is parent training? Is it a book/online resource?

When it's not boiling like today we spent 4-5 hours outside, 2 hours before and 2 hours after nap. It makes him sleep easier but doesn't impact the frequency of other naughty, destructive behavior.

Parent training is sessions with a behavior expert on how to appropriately react or not react to certain behaviors as well as how to develop a mutually respectful relationship with your child so he will want to do what you ask of him.There is an organization called PEP (parent Encouragement Program) that holds classes (www.pepparent.org) and there are therapists who work with parents. I am sure there are also books. Google is your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - yes this is for real.. why wouldn't it be?

I'm a first time mom and don't have friends around with children of the same age. When I do see similar aged toddlers in public settings they don't seem as naughty as my son. For ex: at the library most children his age stick to their caregivers, sit close to them, will play with a book/toy, but are generally not creating chaos. My son runs around snatching books out of other babies' hands, tries to climb on everything, etc.

Most of this behavior I would like to stop at some point, but I don't know if trying right now is pointless / it's normal for this age.

If it is normal for this age, do parents just do nothing more than following the toddler around and cleaning up /containing the damage?

As other posters have said, It’s okay to redirect and set expectations with gentle and even firm guidance OP.
I think the PP who (uncharitably) asked “is this for real?” Is maybe reacting to the phrase “discipline”
Your child presumably understands tones of praise vs tones of disapproval in your voice, and understands “no, we don’t grab toys” (as you hand the snatched toy back to Larla) and “yes! Good job sharing the car with Larlo!” (As he offers a toy to a friend)
Even if he doesn’t get the language, he will start to discern the tones.
And you start small. At home.
It doesn’t have to be combative or angry to get your ping across. You can be playful with your instruction, “uh-oh! We don’t climb on the furniture…”—as you plant his feet on the ground. But the message still needs to be clear and consistent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "Naughty" word is disturbing to hear by a parent in reference to a 15 month old. Please, not said snarkily, but get to a parenting class ASAP to help develop a more reasonable set of expectations so you can support your son from the beginning, or this may turn into a huge problem later in life for both of you

Yep, this. Op needs a parenting class or a book on child development because she sounds like she knows literally nothing. I’m going to assume OP has been messing up from the beginning which is partly why her child is like this. Op do you struggle in other aspects of life too?

Oh shut up.

Her child is a normal 15 month old. You need a parenting class.

No. My kid is older now but didn’t even do half of what OP describes.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, your son isn’t naughty. He has been in this earth for a little over a year and is testing things out and trying to learn.

I agree with PPs that it’s your job to take anything out of reach you don’t want him to get into. My third kid is currently 16 months so we pick up the dog kibble when she’s on the loose in the house so to speak.

If your son doesn’t like high chair straps, try a little table and chairs. My DD will sit at a little table and eat lunch at daycare. It’s really amazing what little kids can do if you get them into a routine.

Also, I’m a big fan of natural consequences. If my DD spills or makes a mess or takes everything out of a cabinet we clean it up together. If she is being too rough and might break something it goes bye bye, and she doesn’t get to have it anymore.

Diaper changes are tough, but for wet ones I’ve figured out how to do it while she is standing, which she seems to not mind as much. Also try playing music or giving toys to occupy him.