when and how to discipline naughty behavior in 15 months old?
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Anonymous
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My son will be turning 15 months soon and has become exponentially more naughty. Taking care of him is exhausting and sometimes very frustrating. Other than saying no and redirecting, what do you do for discipline around this age? I list some examples below of his behavior, I'm curious to hear from others if you would find the following behavior acceptable for his age, or if you would do something about it (and what?)
- not staying still during diaper changes. doesn't cry or scream but wiggles or bicycles his legs while laughing maniacally. He is 25 pounds and very strong, so sometimes this leads to big mess as I cannot restrain him with one hand while dealing with the diaper with the other. Saying no loudly will only make him laugh harder. - refusing to stay in his high chair for more than 30 seconds, will either try to climb on the table or scream to get out and eat while roaming around the room - throwing food and then stomping on it with his feet - banging toys / small objects on the floor, sometimes breaking them - running away (while laughing) when he knows a nap, diaper change, or bed time is coming - grabbing fistfuls of kibble and throwing it everywhere thank you! |
Anonymous
| Is this for real? |
Anonymous
| Lol welcome to being a parent and having a toddler. They aren't born knowing how and when to sit still. He sounds like a smart and fun kid. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| This is too young to discipline beyond saying no and refocusing to better behavior. With the diaper change you need to find something that will interest him while you change him so he doesn't wiggle so much and get faster at it. Give him a toy, sippy cup etc.. and otherwise take away the thing he is using improperly put it on a high shelf where he can sse it but not use it and redirect |
Anonymous
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OP - yes this is for real.. why wouldn't it be?
I'm a first time mom and don't have friends around with children of the same age. When I do see similar aged toddlers in public settings they don't seem as naughty as my son. For ex: at the library most children his age stick to their caregivers, sit close to them, will play with a book/toy, but are generally not creating chaos. My son runs around snatching books out of other babies' hands, tries to climb on everything, etc. Most of this behavior I would like to stop at some point, but I don't know if trying right now is pointless / it's normal for this age. If it is normal for this age, do parents just do nothing more than following the toddler around and cleaning up /containing the damage? |
Anonymous
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Yes to this last question. We moved the kibble so he couldnt reach it and did other things to prevent problems, but yes.
I also started changing diapers standing up (pee only or once he was about two) or on a towel on the floor so I didn’t have to worry about falls from the changing table. That way I could throw my leg over the kid for extra leverage if needed. |
Anonymous
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Yes it is hard! and incredibly normal. It will get much much easier when you learn some tools and also gain an understanding that it is completely normal toddler behavior and not something to discipline, but to find ways through. Start by following Big Little Feelings on instagram. You could also take their course if you prefer watching videos for something like that. I also highly highly recommend reading No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury. It is very short and perfect for giving you the basic understanding of normal toddler behavior and how to respond.
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Anonymous
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Keep refocusing him. He's throwing kibble to get a rise out of you. He wants to see where the boundary is and what happens when he crosses it.
Give 2 positive options that you're okay with (do you want your baby doll or your stuffed animal with your nap?). It gives the illusion that they have some choice, which is what they really want. Do not back down!! If you say no to something, you better stand strong and not give in. This is pretty crucial for parenting. A lot of times if it's something that needs done, but they won't do it, (like holding hands while crossing the street) I will just pick them up. Sometimes that makes them whine even more, so I will ask do you want to hold hands or be carried? |
Anonymous
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I am guessing that you are reinforcing behaviors you don't like with your reactions. It also sounds like you have things around the house that should be put away so he can't get into mischief-- like the kibble. Put it out of his reach. Don't give him food unless he is in his high chair. He won't be able to stomp on it. If he throws food, take him out of the high chair and do something else.
He sounds like he is bored. I would have him play outside as much as possible to tire him out for his naps. There are lots of things you can do. I recommend parent training. it is life changing |
Anonymous
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I mean...
1) Find what distracts him- sing a song, tell a story, give him something to occupy his hands. Standing diaper changes can also help, but I never got the hang of them. 2) This is what the straps on the high chair are for. 3) Food is given in the high chair and taken away if thrown. 4) Don't give him access to things that can be broken by banging. 5) Limit access to places where he could run away. And then go get him. 6) Don't let him go where the kibble is. This stage is exhausting and frustrating, but this isn't misbehavior and it can't be disciplined. He is learning how to be in the world. You need to give him boundaries that he can exist within and teach him as he gets old enough to really learn and understand. |
Anonymous
+1 yiiiikes lol. Good luck in…life |
Anonymous
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And yes some basics are - remove things that will cause an issue. Your toddler cannot and will not ever respond to you just saying not to touch the kibble. Their brain tells them to touch it because their job as a toddler is to explore and learn through touch and exploring their world. So we put pet food and water for pets in the basement, door closed. We just now were able to bring it up after years now that my youngest is 2.5.
Use humor and redirect. Empathize with your child, and if it is something they must do like diaper change, you just physically help them to it while empathizing. I know you don't like diaper changes, it's hard! I have to change your diaper, let's sing wheels on the bus while we do it. Or here is a toy while I do it. Or get creative - we did diaper changes on the floor for awhile, or standing for pee changes. Basically empathize, get creative, remove errors before they happen when you can. And drastically adjust your expectations for a 15 month old. I rea donce time at the table expectation is 1 min per year alive. |
Anonymous
Thank you for the suggestions. My parents recently spent a week with us and was pretty appalled by his behavior. They didn't find it cute or funny like I do (up to a certain threshold). They kept on saying if I don't start disciplining him now he will turn out to be a problem child and do destructive/dangerous things when he's a teenager. When I ask how am i supposed to discipline someone who doesn't seem to understand "no" yet they suggested spanking.... |
Anonymous
I say this kindly, but the problem isn’t him…it’s you. Stop calling him naughty and saying he’s “misbehaving”…he’s 15 months. Also do some basic reading about parenting young toddlers, specifically around redirecting and positive reinforcement. Honestly this is the age it’s really easy to do it at…it will get a lot harder as he gets older and more stubborn. |
Anonymous
| Well you shouldn't find his behaviors cute or funny. He's a toddler. He has no idea the line between "ah this gets a positive reaction" and "oh no this was too much now mommy is mad". |