child is gay but not out and sleepovers

[Anonymous]

Lesbians, particularly young girls, still have female friends. Not all females are trying to get into your daughter's pants. Let her have friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am fairly sure she is gay, but she hasn't come out yet.
What do we do about same-sex sleepovers, which we have always allowed?
She has 2 sisters.

Tour ddis not goub ti qanr to cinw out to you if tou assune every girl is a romanric partner. Why would she if you are going to punish her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fairly sure she is gay, but she hasn't come out yet.
What do we do about same-sex sleepovers, which we have always allowed?
She has 2 sisters.

At a certain age, sleepovers are no longer allowed. That would be ages 12-13 anyway.

Most kids have sleepovers through high school

Most kids with lenient parents might do this, but there is no good that comes from sleepovers in high school. This is where alcohol, vaping, and drugs can start. Kids may sneak out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The easy way is to have extra kids for a sleepover, no 1:1 sleepovers of potential partners. Experimentation and exploration are very unlikely to happen in a group setting.

Oh boy are you naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fairly sure she is gay, but she hasn't come out yet.
What do we do about same-sex sleepovers, which we have always allowed?
She has 2 sisters.

Tour ddis not goub ti qanr to cinw out to you if tou assune every girl is a romanric partner. Why would she if you are going to punish her?

Please push this through the Google translator for the language you thought you were typing in and then repost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fairly sure she is gay, but she hasn't come out yet.
What do we do about same-sex sleepovers, which we have always allowed?
She has 2 sisters.

At a certain age, sleepovers are no longer allowed. That would be ages 12-13 anyway.

Most kids have sleepovers through high school

Most kids with lenient parents might do this, but there is no good that comes from sleepovers in high school. This is where alcohol, vaping, and drugs can start. Kids may sneak out.

Kids do all of those things without sleepover if they they want

You are being ridiculous. I rather my kid have 2-3 friends over for movies and fun then go out with friends doing anything they want. Your job in high school is to parent them and allow them to start turning into adults BEFORE they leave for college. Stop babying them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is the "2 sisters" part relevant? Are you worried about incest?

Um because the sisters are probably allowed to have same sex sleepovers?! And were allowed at tweens age? So rule setting may be trickier. Not sure why you would jump to incest.

I’m also not sure why OP also seems to think gay = predator. What a weird way to think.

OP here. Where did i imply that gay = predator? Sorry if I did, but I don't consciously think that way.

I am just not clear if i am at the point where I want to sponsor people who are attracted to each other sleeping under my roof. And because she isn't out to me, it's hard to have that discussion with her. And because of her gender, and her friends' gender, this isn't the sort of thing where society would pressure them NOT to have a sleepover, it seems like it's easier to almost "encourage" a sexy sleepover without meaning to.

You seem to think that gay people always have sex all the time and don't have same sex friends. This is weird.

Exactly. She is assuming and judging and showing major signs of homophobia and she wonders why her daughter hasn't come out yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fairly sure she is gay, but she hasn't come out yet.
What do we do about same-sex sleepovers, which we have always allowed?
She has 2 sisters.

Tour ddis not goub ti qanr to cinw out to you if tou assune every girl is a romanric partner. Why would she if you are going to punish her?

Please push this through the Google translator for the language you thought you were typing in and then repost.

Yes sorry about that. My phone is acting up. Lol. What i meant to say was not every girlfriend is a romantic partner. And ops dd wont want to come out if she forbids basic sleepovers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fairly sure she is gay, but she hasn't come out yet.
What do we do about same-sex sleepovers, which we have always allowed?
She has 2 sisters.

At a certain age, sleepovers are no longer allowed. That would be ages 12-13 anyway.

Most kids have sleepovers through high school

Most kids with lenient parents might do this, but there is no good that comes from sleepovers in high school. This is where alcohol, vaping, and drugs can start. Kids may sneak out.

Kids do all of those things without sleepover if they they want

You are being ridiculous. I rather my kid have 2-3 friends over for movies and fun then go out with friends doing anything they want. Your job in high school is to parent them and allow them to start turning into adults BEFORE they leave for college. Stop babying them.

Lol. Ok. You can have your high school kid have sleepovers if you want. To me that’s not good parenting. You have no idea what your kid is doing at someone’s house at that age. Guarantee you it involves pot or vaping. Not happening with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is the "2 sisters" part relevant? Are you worried about incest?

Um because the sisters are probably allowed to have same sex sleepovers?! And were allowed at tweens age? So rule setting may be trickier. Not sure why you would jump to incest.

I’m also not sure why OP also seems to think gay = predator. What a weird way to think.

OP here. Where did i imply that gay = predator? Sorry if I did, but I don't consciously think that way.

I am just not clear if i am at the point where I want to sponsor people who are attracted to each other sleeping under my roof. And because she isn't out to me, it's hard to have that discussion with her. And because of her gender, and her friends' gender, this isn't the sort of thing where society would pressure them NOT to have a sleepover, it seems like it's easier to almost "encourage" a sexy sleepover without meaning to.

You seem to think that gay people always have sex all the time and don't have same sex friends. This is weird.

Exactly. She is assuming and judging and showing major signs of homophobia and she wonders why her daughter hasn't come out yet.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fairly sure she is gay, but she hasn't come out yet.
What do we do about same-sex sleepovers, which we have always allowed?
She has 2 sisters.

At a certain age, sleepovers are no longer allowed. That would be ages 12-13 anyway.

Most kids have sleepovers through high school

I have a son. He has friends who crash here but they stay in separate bedrooms. They'd think it was weird to stay in the same room. I know not everyone has the room for that. But the way sleepovers play out as they age may change.

Just like a lot of teen pregnancies happen after school, I'm sure a lot of same-sex exploration occurs during the same hours. It doesn't have to be a sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fairly sure she is gay, but she hasn't come out yet.
What do we do about same-sex sleepovers, which we have always allowed?
She has 2 sisters.

At a certain age, sleepovers are no longer allowed. That would be ages 12-13 anyway.

Most kids have sleepovers through high school

Mine didn’t. They did them all the time from about age 5-12 but when HS rolled around they preferred their own beds.

We had sleepovers through high school, on weekends beck from college AND still do it as moms!

[Anonymous]

What does having 2 sisters have to do with any of it??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. You don't even know yourself.

This!

My parents 100% thought I was gay. I had a really awkward conversation about it and how I should quit my sport because of the lesbians. I'm not now nor have I ever been attracted to women! I was friends with my lesbian teammates, but nothing more than that. Truth is you don't know! Fast forward 20+ years - happily married in a heterosexual relationship worh 2 kids. You don't know what you don't know. I'm simply a sporty tomboy, always have been.

Right, I dont know, but I get a strong vibe. Should I ignore it because I don't have proof?

Yes, for her sake ignore it until she tells you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. You don't even know yourself.

This!

My parents 100% thought I was gay. I had a really awkward conversation about it and how I should quit my sport because of the lesbians. I'm not now nor have I ever been attracted to women! I was friends with my lesbian teammates, but nothing more than that. Truth is you don't know! Fast forward 20+ years - happily married in a heterosexual relationship worh 2 kids. You don't know what you don't know. I'm simply a sporty tomboy, always have been.

Right, I dont know, but I get a strong vibe. Should I ignore it because I don't have proof?

... should I ignore it because I don't have proof, and believe straight until proven gay?

Believe nothing until proven something is more like it.