How do you identify a man that would be a good husband?

[Anonymous]

Parts hair
Clean beliefs
Collects at least two things
Can ride a bike in dark
Washes all body parts
Preaches common sense
Knows which way the wind is blowing
Eats like he knows you
Loves America

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When dating what qualities does one look for in a man to ensure he would be a good husband?

Someone who is kind and caring, has no anger issues, has education and employment, has no criminal/addiction/financial issues. Someone who wants similar future as I do. Imagine them in 10 tears with a wife and two kids, do you see his wife happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not necessary but the following would be a plus:
Able to fix irrigation, able to paint, able to change a tire and change a battery, knows how a car engine runs,
able to fix simple plumbing, able to trouble shoot home repairs

Can cook 1 or 2 meals that are really yummy.

Op inquired about a husband, not a butler! Glad I’m not stuck with you!

I know. My DH can’t do a single one of these things but he is a terrific life partner. Kindness and emotional maturity are way more important.

I hope at least one of you learns to change a tire sooner than later

Who changes tires? I've been driving cars for nearly 40 years, never once had to change a tire. Just have money and efficient towing service.

[Anonymous]

Some people recommend qualities which would sure make a man a great handyman but not necessarily a good husband or father.

[Anonymous]

All you need to know is 6666...6 feet, 6 figures( or more), 6 pack abs, and 6 inches below the belt. What more does a girl want?

[Anonymous]

Similar to what you would want out of any friendship or partnership, but I think among the most important are selflessness and contentment.

[Anonymous]

My husband is wonderful with many of the great traits others have mentioned. But what’s really great about him is that he lets me be me. He’s never tried to impose his will on my career decisions, which have been crazy at times, and I know he has tremendous respect for me as a person. I don’t know if you can identify the let me be me while your dating but it sure has made my life happy.

[Anonymous]

My husband checked all the boxes but he always seemed annoyed when he talked to his mom. Turns out about 7 years later, that same annoyed voice finally made an appearance when he talks to me. Other than that it's been ok I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you need to know is 6666...6 feet, 6 figures( or more), 6 pack abs, and 6 inches below the belt. What more does a girl want?

A reality check

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not necessary but the following would be a plus:
Able to fix irrigation, able to paint, able to change a tire and change a battery, knows how a car engine runs,
able to fix simple plumbing, able to trouble shoot home repairs

Can cook 1 or 2 meals that are really yummy.

Op inquired about a husband, not a butler! Glad I’m not stuck with you!

I know. My DH can’t do a single one of these things but he is a terrific life partner. Kindness and emotional maturity are way more important.

I hope at least one of you learns to change a tire sooner than later

Who changes tires? I've been driving cars for nearly 40 years, never once had to change a tire. Just have money and efficient towing service.

I always just stand on the side of the road and look pretty. Some man always stops to change a flat.

[Anonymous]

When I was dating my now-husband, he was so throughly a family man and this is how I knew: he was patient, kind, considerate, had a sense of humor and didn’t take himself too seriously, and was good with his nieces and nephews. He was devoted to his family. He was responsible. He wasn’t impulsive or quick to anger. He would drink, but he could take it or leave it (he didn’t *have* to drink).

He’s a great husband and father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind, good to his parents, long term job (not a job hopper every year), careful with money, has some long term friends (1 or 2 is okay), generous to help others,
some kind of faith tradition, sense of humor, flexible in outlook

The above won’t control for some mental disorders and masking.

Yes—I had a few boyfriends who were all of these things and I thought them “safe.” With that experience I can say that these are all important things, but keep your eyes open—especially at a young age when someone’s life trajectory isn’t clear yet, an outwardly “together” life can also coexist with some major emotional problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pets. DH had a few rescue cats. Took great care of them. In particular, I remember watching him clean up cat hairballs and scrub the carpet and thought that he would have no problem changing diapers. He was indeed a great father.

This can go either way. I had a boyfriend who adopted a stray cat, adored her, and spoiled her rotten. He was also vegan. Stray cats loved him. He’d stop to pick up worms off the sidewalk and return them to the lawn. I took these, initially, as signs of compassion.

A few months in the real deal came out—he turned out to be a really angry, spiteful person—the sort of man you find lurking today on incel forums (in fact he turned out to have written articles about such things before those forums existed). He had a lot of compassion for animals, but not for humans. He and his cat adored each other, and both were mean to everyone else.

IDK. The lesson I learned was that a man could check a whole bunch of boxes that suggested he must be a nice person and, still have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind, good to his parents, long term job (not a job hopper every year), careful with money, has some long term friends (1 or 2 is okay), generous to help others,
some kind of faith tradition, sense of humor, flexible in outlook

Meh, I don’t care for superstitious people . That is a weird criterion but to each her own.

You need to learn more about faith in God before you make the mistake of calling people superstitious for their faith, but perhaps it's best if you continue to stay away from dating them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is a good husband and I'll list some of the thing that stuck out to me when we were dating that go above the obvious (like kindness, sexual compatibility, etc)

- Enjoys cooking
- Got excited about showing me updates to his apartment
- Genuinely wanted my opinion about things. We talked about his job, family, issues with friends, life in general
- Would let me talk about issues with my job or family without trying to fix it. Knew when I just needed to vent and when I needed his opinions
- Made an effort to become friends with my friends and family
- Was very supportive when my dad got seriously ill
- Honest. We talked about everything. There were no secrets
- Took pride in his own things and kept his apartment clean.
- Supported me through a job crisis and then career change. He has always respected me and been my cheerleader

Agree with all. Another is that my husband never lets my carry the groceries or any load, actual or figurative, by myself. I'm never cleaning, cooking, or taking care of our kids alone. He's right there with me. When we were dating, he'd fill our dog's water bowl as I filled the food bowl. He shows me every day that we're a team.