Can good parents just have an awful child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a good friend whose daughter is truly evil. I don’t want to give too many details but of all the kids I have encountered over the years, this girl scares me. I don’t want her near my kids. I want to avoid her. This made me wonder how her always pleasant smiling parents must be at home.

The girl seems to enjoy when others get hurt. She had been the cause of many getting injured and I honestly feel my kids are unsafe around her. I have seen some of her dark art in passing and it is of tortured animals and death. Really dark stuff. I don’t know anyone like her and it is far beyond any typical mean girl behavior.

Can good parents just have an evil child?

How do you know they are good parents if you don't live with them?

We’re at each others’ homes all the time (every couple weeks?) and vacation together. We’re essentially raising the cousins together. He’s decent with my kids but will still refuse to help with chores, quit games or cheat if he starts losing, and whine/sulk if we don’t do what he wants to do.

Op here. The pp was not me. The troubled child is a girl and she has a younger brother. The siblings do not fight. I feel bad and afraid for the younger brother. He is probably afraid of his older sister.

[Anonymous]

By all means, avoid the situation if it seems dangerous or unpleasant to you. You could have some empathy, though.

Smiling, pleasant parents could also be sociopaths. You don't know what is going on at home.

Daughter could have impulse control issues -- irritability and aggression can be ADHD symptoms.

Daughter could have a mood disorder -- impulse control, irritability and aggression can be symptoms of early bipolar disorder.

[Anonymous]

Lots of people are desperate to believe that this could never happen to them because *they* are good parents and these other parents must secretly be evil and abusive.

[Anonymous]

You don't know how they treat the child when you aren't watching. You don't know how they treated the child when they were an infant when nobody was watching. I believe it's possible that some kids are born with mental and/or emotional issues that combined with bad or at least inept parenting can result in the type of child OP is talking about. I don't believe anyone is born evil and will stay that way from birth no matter what. I think it only appears that way sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people are desperate to believe that this could never happen to them because *they* are good parents and these other parents must secretly be evil and abusive.

Yep, much easier to claim that something is wrong with the parents.

FWIW, all the "bad" kids that I knew either matured out of it and became productive adults or got diagnosed with some psychiatric disorder. Neither looked conditional on parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it happens, but is very rare. In the large majority of cases bad kids result from bad parents. But occasionally some kids are born psychos.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s the plot to We Need to talk about Kevin.

No, not exactly. One of the primary themes in the book and the movie adaptation is Eva's ambivalence about motherhood and her struggle to bond with Kevin and meet his basic emotional needs in infancy. Then she has another child who she clearly has no trouble bonding with and showing deep affection for, with Kevin as witness. It isn't clear in the book/movie if he was all born psychopath, or if he was made that way in part by his upbringing/attachment issues.

+1 this is exactly how i interpreted it.

So tired of mothers being blamed for this stuff. It's like the debunked theory of autism due to cold "refrigerator mothers". Adolf Hitler, by all accounts, had a loving mother (though a distant father).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't know how they treat the child when you aren't watching. You don't know how they treated the child when they were an infant when nobody was watching. I believe it's possible that some kids are born with mental and/or emotional issues that combined with bad or at least inept parenting can result in the type of child OP is talking about. I don't believe anyone is born evil and will stay that way from birth no matter what. I think it only appears that way sometimes.

So do you think people are born good or neutral? Do you understand genetics? If someone is born naturally skilled at or drawn to to math or music or art, why wouldn’t there be a contingent that is born drawn to trouble or drugs or cruelty.

[Anonymous]

I’ve met a few kids like this, and could spot a kid like this a mile away(to avoid). The parents are usually not keen on discipline and always stick up for their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s the plot to We Need to talk about Kevin.

No, not exactly. One of the primary themes in the book and the movie adaptation is Eva's ambivalence about motherhood and her struggle to bond with Kevin and meet his basic emotional needs in infancy. Then she has another child who she clearly has no trouble bonding with and showing deep affection for, with Kevin as witness. It isn't clear in the book/movie if he was all born psychopath, or if he was made that way in part by his upbringing/attachment issues.

+1 this is exactly how i interpreted it.

So tired of mothers being blamed for this stuff. It's like the debunked theory of autism due to cold "refrigerator mothers". Adolf Hitler, by all accounts, had a loving mother (though a distant father).

Agree. And imagine how hard it would be to bond with a baby/child who never showed any love back. She connected better with her non-psycho child because thats how human relTionships work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a good friend whose daughter is truly evil. I don’t want to give too many details but of all the kids I have encountered over the years, this girl scares me. I don’t want her near my kids. I want to avoid her. This made me wonder how her always pleasant smiling parents must be at home.

The girl seems to enjoy when others get hurt. She had been the cause of many getting injured and I honestly feel my kids are unsafe around her. I have seen some of her dark art in passing and it is of tortured animals and death. Really dark stuff. I don’t know anyone like her and it is far beyond any typical mean girl behavior.

Can good parents just have an evil child?

Hi OP.

If you know, can you tell us if this child is on TikTok, Snap, and Discord ??

[Anonymous]

I think 1% of the population are psychopaths, and she sounds like one (based on what you say). It really is luck of the draw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s the plot to We Need to talk about Kevin.

No, not exactly. One of the primary themes in the book and the movie adaptation is Eva's ambivalence about motherhood and her struggle to bond with Kevin and meet his basic emotional needs in infancy. Then she has another child who she clearly has no trouble bonding with and showing deep affection for, with Kevin as witness. It isn't clear in the book/movie if he was all born psychopath, or if he was made that way in part by his upbringing/attachment issues.

+1 this is exactly how i interpreted it.

So tired of mothers being blamed for this stuff. It's like the debunked theory of autism due to cold "refrigerator mothers". Adolf Hitler, by all accounts, had a loving mother (though a distant father).

Agree. And imagine how hard it would be to bond with a baby/child who never showed any love back. She connected better with her non-psycho child because thats how human relTionships work.

OP here. I actually think the girl is quite attached to the mother. That is why I started wondering about the parents and thought maybe they weren’t as nice as they seem on the surface. I’m fine not being friends with this family. The dad and son are really sweet. DH and my kids like them. The girl scares me enough that I would prefer to distance ourselves from them. I’m so glad we don’t go to the same school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a good friend whose daughter is truly evil. I don’t want to give too many details but of all the kids I have encountered over the years, this girl scares me. I don’t want her near my kids. I want to avoid her. This made me wonder how her always pleasant smiling parents must be at home.

The girl seems to enjoy when others get hurt. She had been the cause of many getting injured and I honestly feel my kids are unsafe around her. I have seen some of her dark art in passing and it is of tortured animals and death. Really dark stuff. I don’t know anyone like her and it is far beyond any typical mean girl behavior.

Can good parents just have an evil child?

I think so. I’ve only encountered one kid I would put in this category (I was an early childhood teacher for many years). Second of 4 children. Purposely hurt children and animals when no one was looking…and delighted in doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a good friend whose daughter is truly evil. I don’t want to give too many details but of all the kids I have encountered over the years, this girl scares me. I don’t want her near my kids. I want to avoid her. This made me wonder how her always pleasant smiling parents must be at home.

The girl seems to enjoy when others get hurt. She had been the cause of many getting injured and I honestly feel my kids are unsafe around her. I have seen some of her dark art in passing and it is of tortured animals and death. Really dark stuff. I don’t know anyone like her and it is far beyond any typical mean girl behavior.

Can good parents just have an evil child?

Hi OP.

If you know, can you tell us if this child is on TikTok, Snap, and Discord ??

Yes, if you keep your kid off apps, you can ensure they weren't born paychopaths.