What is the defining trauma of your life?

[Anonymous]

Childhood sexual abuse

Childhood illness where I nearly died

Murder

Another murder

TBI

Married a narcissist that eventually raped me

Kids with special needs

IEP meetings

Autoimmune disease that took nearly 20 years to diagnose while doctors told me it was all in my head. I’ve been sick for so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Emotional neglect and bullying in childhood. Certainly not shocking or extreme like the other comments here but they’ve had lifelong repercussions.

+1

[Anonymous]

Being held in my fathers arms while he beat my mother

[Anonymous]

Mom’s barbiturate overdose/possible suicide when I was age 7.

[Anonymous]

My family moved across the country (pre internet/pre tech) when I was a pre teen and I lost contact with all of my friends.

[Anonymous]

Parental neglect as a child that resulted in low self esteem/hate. As a result, unconsciously made very poor relationship choices.

Adult trauma when learning my DH had a sex addiction and secret life. He spent $30K on escorts and had 6 girlfriends simultaneously while married to me. He is sober and healthy now, and we’re still married, but I’m a shell of myself. Chronic low self esteem lead to depression. I’ve gained 50 lbs, feel ugly, and have high anxiety over the fear DH will relapse and our family blowing up.

[Anonymous]

When I (f) was 15 I was on the high school tennis team with my 16-year old neighbor who was my doubles partner. One night, she got into the back seat of a car with 3 other teens in there. They had all been drinking. They slammed in to a tree; the tree did not move. My neighbor went thru the windshield and was decapitated.

My neighbor's mom had a nervous breakdown and went to a "mental hospital." My mother pointed her finger at me and said "Don't you ever, ever do that to me." The neighbors soon after moved away, and I did not ever drink and drive or get into a car with anyone who had been drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I (f) was 15 I was on the high school tennis team with my 16-year old neighbor who was my doubles partner. One night, she got into the back seat of a car with 3 other teens in there. They had all been drinking. They slammed in to a tree; the tree did not move. My neighbor went thru the windshield and was decapitated.

My neighbor's mom had a nervous breakdown and went to a "mental hospital." My mother pointed her finger at me and said "Don't you ever, ever do that to me." The neighbors soon after moved away, and I did not ever drink and drive or get into a car with anyone who had been drinking.

That's a bad one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parental neglect as a child that resulted in low self esteem/hate. As a result, unconsciously made very poor relationship choices.

Adult trauma when learning my DH had a sex addiction and secret life. He spent $30K on escorts and had 6 girlfriends simultaneously while married to me. He is sober and healthy now, and we’re still married, but I’m a shell of myself. Chronic low self esteem lead to depression. I’ve gained 50 lbs, feel ugly, and have high anxiety over the fear DH will relapse and our family blowing up.

My advice is to work hard on yourself, for yourself and lose that 50lbs you're carrying and then lose the other 200lbs that is your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family moved across the country (pre internet/pre tech) when I was a pre teen and I lost contact with all of my friends.

are you serious? that's it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first relationship was with a man who was pretty much Brian Laundrie’s twin —
very abusive and manipulative. When I saw him in that video, it was just scary how similarly he looked and behaved. Unfortunately, it affected my ability to trust men and I’m not sure I’ll ever be in a healthy relationship.

How old are you now? There's always time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being born with a permanent, physical disability that is progressive and never knowing if any day will be the day I end up back in the hospital or a wheelchair. I have over 20 reconstructive surgeries.

Being disabled can just be one trauma after the next. It is a life sentence.

What is it, exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had too many to count. Rape and death of a 9 day old child top the list. It's a long list, but none of it defines me or my life. That's been the key to my resilience.

Your child?

[Anonymous]

Younger sister died at 4 months old and my father died 8 months later. My mother remarried a year and a half later. My step father molested me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent dying of a painful illness as a young child. Watching them die, growing up without them, not having support.

Same.

And I do not believe it has made me stronger. The trauma stunted me. Pretty much every part of my life is dysfunctional.

I worry that this is happening to my now 21 y.o. son. His dad died suddenly when my son was a teen, and my son found his body. I hate that my son found him, and I know that it has scarred him deeply. They were very close. Years later, I am seeing the impact.