My brother’s divorce and custody issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mom is wrong obviously and your brother needs to tell her that. She can not visit during his 2. weeks unless invited. If she is concerned that she is not well cared for that needs to be addressed via custody agreement.

Thank you. No, she is not worried about her daughter being properly cared for, but she thinks it’s best for her daughter to have continuity of care and that it’s bad for her daughter to go from spending most days with her to spending 1 full week away. My niece spends up to 2 full days with my brother twice a month so she is used to being with dad.

What can my brother do? He can’t forbid his ex wife to come to a public beach where we are staying.

Thanks!

How old is the niece?
2 whole days twice a month is not a lot of time. You may have to acknowledge that mom did and does do most of the childcare and not your brother. If it was his week to have her then why was she with mom?

[Anonymous]

You have gotten a lot of advice on this thread about child custody, and it is all based on US law and US cultural norms.

Your brother needs the advice of a local divorce attorney. Do parents in his country get 50/50 - if not, do the courts favor another particular arrangement? Then your brother needs to strategize with the lawyer about what kind of custody he would like to try and get.

At the same time your brother should research what kind of custody is age appropriate - every other day is a lot of transitions for 4.5. But, every other week is a long time with out seeing the other parent. Some couples do a version of 2/2/3 which is one parent has M/T, the other W/Th and the weekends (either whole or split) alternate. Another option is the parents alternate every other day in terms of the time after school until after bath and jammies, and the kid is just delivered back to Mom’s on weekday nights for sleeping.

Your brother needs a lawyer to formalize custody on paper - whether it is mutually agreed or, if not, done through courts - and he must have legal advice on how to document the time he spends with daughter, the $$ he pays, and the requests he’s made to see DD and how Mom has denied or interferred.

Also, TBH, he should have a paternity test done. I know that’s scary, but he has to have proof that child is his, otherwise Mom may allege it is AP’s sometime down the road.