New VA trans policies for schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

WTF? That's not how it works.

Yes it is. Trans boys are boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

If she’s in high school, she already does. The bathroom policy has allowed this. Unless she’s specifically mentioned an incident or being uncomfortable to you, which it’s clear she hasn’t, it’s been a non issue.

Definitely not a non-issue, kids are in fear of being "cancelled", labeled as racist or anti-trans, punished by the admin for speaking out.

you are misreading my post. read it again. my daughter is perfectly fine with status quo of trans girls (biological boys) using the girls room. She would not be ok with trans BOYS (bio girls) using the girls room because she fully considers them to be boys in line with their presented identity. please read more closely next time.

I read it the other way as well. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

WTF? That's not how it works.

Yes it is. Trans boys are boys.

Yes, catching up now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher. I'm calling a kid by the (reasonable) name they ask me to call them. Period. And if they ask me to use a different name with their parents I'm doing that too.

**LGBTQ youth who report having at least one accepting adult were 40% less likely to report a suicide attempt in the past year.**

I'm sure as F going to be that accepting adult without hesitation. It's quite literally the least I can do.

Don’t you have classes to teach and papers to grade? I sure don’t have time to get into other kids’ business.

Pretty sure teachers need to know their students' names to teach and grade papers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

NP. I wonder if there is a way to allow for judgment based on likelihood of medical intervention. I don’t think it’s workable to ask teachers to not call kids by their preferred names, just on a practical basis. And, I think it’s good for kids to have an outlet to experiment with identity. Who cares if Rebecca wants to be called Rex by her favorite teacher?

However, I also think it’s very problematic for schools to hide full gender transitions from parents, because of the medicalized potential outcomes. A parent can’t just find out their kid has adopted a trans identity when the child demands puberty blockers. That’s too late, and by then the child has probably absorbed a bunch of overtly wrong propaganda about medical transition. There is just so much coming out about how much misleading medical information has been promoted in the name of gender affirmative care. (Personally, given how things are going, I think that medicalized transition for youth is well on its way to being the lobotomy of our times.) It isn’t right for parents to only find out after their child has absorbed enormous amounts of misinformation about medical transitions.

Maybe there could be a judgment call: parents are notified when authorities at the school think the transition is enough that the child may ask for medical intervention. Idk, just thinking out loud and trying to bridge a tricky problem.

Mom of trans child again here. I want to address this post because I feel that you are trying to understand and come from a good place, but I also think you are doing harm to families and have some misinformation. First, to be clear, parents always control the decision and pace of any medical transition in any minor. A child who waits to inform parents would not be able to get medical transition and would have to wait longer because they would not have completed the pretransition steps that are required such as therapy and living full time in the gender. In any event, your concern would exist whether or not the child is outted by the school because all this policy will do is to make kids keep it to themselves longer rather than talk about it at school (none of which prevents them from doing their online research if they want).

Second, as a family facing this challenge and whose child has medically transitioned, please realize that the off hand comments like comparisons to lobotomies are extremely hurtful to us. Believe me, I did not want to have a child in this situation and was skeptical and questioning. We are doing the best we can and making decisions the best we can with love for our children at the forefront of it. We have relied on the expertise of medical professionals at the most respected medical institutions throughout. To suggest that we have (either deliberately or through stupidity) hurt our kids when you don't know that and to use the example of something that destroys people's personalities is simply mean. My child is still (and always will be) a wonderful person regardless of his body and we have always acted with the best intentions to do the best by him. If that turns out over the course of his life to be the wrong decision, I will be sad but at least I will know that we did the best we could. I would ask that you consider whether you have the same feelings about schools reporting kids when they or teachers know that the parents would likely refuse to accept their trans children or would kick out a child or (god forbid) abuse that child.

DP. You're aware that this is the case because Virginia is not a super progressive state? There are other states that are more progressive where parents are not in charge about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

WTF? That's not how it works.

Yes it is. Trans boys are boys.

Until they, you know, change clothes.

True for trans girls too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

NP. I wonder if there is a way to allow for judgment based on likelihood of medical intervention. I don’t think it’s workable to ask teachers to not call kids by their preferred names, just on a practical basis. And, I think it’s good for kids to have an outlet to experiment with identity. Who cares if Rebecca wants to be called Rex by her favorite teacher?

However, I also think it’s very problematic for schools to hide full gender transitions from parents, because of the medicalized potential outcomes. A parent can’t just find out their kid has adopted a trans identity when the child demands puberty blockers. That’s too late, and by then the child has probably absorbed a bunch of overtly wrong propaganda about medical transition. There is just so much coming out about how much misleading medical information has been promoted in the name of gender affirmative care. (Personally, given how things are going, I think that medicalized transition for youth is well on its way to being the lobotomy of our times.) It isn’t right for parents to only find out after their child has absorbed enormous amounts of misinformation about medical transitions.

Maybe there could be a judgment call: parents are notified when authorities at the school think the transition is enough that the child may ask for medical intervention. Idk, just thinking out loud and trying to bridge a tricky problem.

Mom of trans child again here. I want to address this post because I feel that you are trying to understand and come from a good place, but I also think you are doing harm to families and have some misinformation. First, to be clear, parents always control the decision and pace of any medical transition in any minor. A child who waits to inform parents would not be able to get medical transition and would have to wait longer because they would not have completed the pretransition steps that are required such as therapy and living full time in the gender. In any event, your concern would exist whether or not the child is outted by the school because all this policy will do is to make kids keep it to themselves longer rather than talk about it at school (none of which prevents them from doing their online research if they want).

Second, as a family facing this challenge and whose child has medically transitioned, please realize that the off hand comments like comparisons to lobotomies are extremely hurtful to us. Believe me, I did not want to have a child in this situation and was skeptical and questioning. We are doing the best we can and making decisions the best we can with love for our children at the forefront of it. We have relied on the expertise of medical professionals at the most respected medical institutions throughout. To suggest that we have (either deliberately or through stupidity) hurt our kids when you don't know that and to use the example of something that destroys people's personalities is simply mean. My child is still (and always will be) a wonderful person regardless of his body and we have always acted with the best intentions to do the best by him. If that turns out over the course of his life to be the wrong decision, I will be sad but at least I will know that we did the best we could. I would ask that you consider whether you have the same feelings about schools reporting kids when they or teachers know that the parents would likely refuse to accept their trans children or would kick out a child or (god forbid) abuse that child.

DP. You're aware that this is the case because Virginia is not a super progressive state? There are other states that are more progressive where parents are not in charge about this.

Parents should always be in charge of this. Letting children make permanent, life-altering, and potentially very regrettable decisions is not progress. I don't even understand why this is up for debate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

This also though prevents bio girls from competing on bio boys teams. Meanwhile they get misgendered on bio girls teams because they have transitioned and look like "boys". Arlington Karens asking why there's a boy on the team LOUDLY. This happens all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

This also though prevents bio girls from competing on bio boys teams. Meanwhile they get misgendered on bio girls teams because they have transitioned and look like "boys". Arlington Karens asking why there's a boy on the team LOUDLY. This happens all the time.

Girls are allowed to compete on boys teams, not the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know the answers, but I blame this on the open up nutters who voted Youngkin into office.

And thank goodness for them.

Signed,

Proud Youngkin voter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a trans child, these could be worse but are still not great. For example, the bathroom provision means that a kid who has been transitioned socially by his parents and uses a male name and identity at school has to use the girl's bathroom (as I read it that would be true even after that kid had a legal name and gender change). My kid now has a beard and no one out in the world thinks that he is a "girl" yet if he were a senior in a VA high school, he would have to walk into the girl's bathroom?

I also don't see the need for a rule on names and nicknames and find the rule somewhat hilarious. As I understand it, a kid whose given name is Kristen could change it to Kris or from Rebecca to Bec but not from Rebecca to Rex? What about nicknames that people want to use that are not close to their names or are their middle names? What about all the Treys and Juniors from my youth in the South?

On parent knowledge, I don't have a huge problem in having parents involved in changing the child's gender identity used at school, but have a real problem with the refusal to change the records without the legal documentation being completed. As a practical matter, that means that these kids will constantly be dealing with the wrong name on lists and other school docs even when their parents fully support the use of the new name. It is not that easy to do the name change process and why would we want people to have to do that early in a transition process.

Also, those who think that parents should be informed of everything, would you want schools to be required to inform parents if a child joined a LBGTQ group or wanted to take a same sex date to the prom?

So even with the parents' knowledge and permission, your kid who identifies male would have to use the girls bathroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

Does your straight cis girl change clothes in the locker room? Does she shower? Or does she change and shower in a stall and never sees any other girls in any state of dress or undress?

She has never mentioned any concern with sharing any facilities with trans girls, literally ever. She has said how weird it would be to share facilities with trans boys (ie biological girls who look, present, act like boys) because she fully considers them to be boys.

As the parent of a gender nonconforming student, I cannot with you. Idiot.

You're misreading. you may want to read more closely next time before lashing out. The point is that my DD supports trans students using the bathroom of their affirmed identities.

I'll refrain from calling you a name even though one comes to mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

Does she want to share with boys claiming to be girls?

If you are referring to trans girls, then yes, totally fine with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

Does she want to share with boys claiming to be girls?

NP, but since that doesn’t happen, I’m not sure why she would think about it.

[Anonymous]

Call me archaic, but parents are responsible for their children and their children’s mental health more than the schools.
I don’t care what pronouns are used my nickname used, but if a parent inquires, or something is hidden from a parent, the school has overstepped its boundaries.