General complaint: people are THE WORST

[Anonymous]

LOL, OP, I was just listening to a podcast about "happiness" and it was advocating talking to your barista and random strangers you encounter during the day as a form of increasing personal happiness. As an introvert, I was not convinced. A library or some other quieter public space where you can be around other humans but not forced to listen to the talk may be a better choice as a work spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our society has condoned, encouraged and supported our sense of self entitlement. We all deserve something. We are all owed something. We have regressed to toddlerhood where we think the world revolves around us. We are afraid to speak up because we are also entitled to lash out at anyone who challenges our entitlement.

This doesn't make sense.

In a functional society, we ARE all owed something, and that is basic decency. That' the whole point of society. And in a functional society, we would be able to assert that right to basic decency and not have it constantly come into conflict with people's selfish desire to do whatever the heck they want regardless of how it impacts others.

But we live in a dysfunctional society, so even something as simple as suggesting that a person not play their music on a personal device in a public space that is meant to be shared with others, gets twisted into encroaching on that person's "right" to do whatever they want.

People have lost sight of what exactly it is we are all owed, in favor of borderline anarchy where you are owed whatever you are willing to try an assert over others, etiquette/laws/decency be damned.

Agree. But when did the majority become so mentally deficient?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

Dude - it’s a Starbucks not a library. Try the library or pay for a space if you want a space that is exactly as you want it.

OP here and people will do this sort of thing at the library too. I know several public librarians and dealing with rude, entitled, hostile people is like 90% of their job. It sucks.

DP here. People of all types need to stop taking up tables for lengthy, unreasonable periods, point blank.

"Loitering" laws and rules used to be enforced against things like this, but they can't anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL, OP, I was just listening to a podcast about "happiness" and it was advocating talking to your barista and random strangers you encounter during the day as a form of increasing personal happiness. As an introvert, I was not convinced. A library or some other quieter public space where you can be around other humans but not forced to listen to the talk may be a better choice as a work spot.

OP here, and three years ago I would have been that person saying that. I mean, I still say it sometimes. I have always enjoyed interacting with people in these small, brief ways because if you can make those interactions pleasant, you can feel happy and connected to people even if you live alone or don't have a ton of friends or, like me, work independently and don't have coworkers. I like having brief conversations with my barista, the bus driver, the guy at the butcher counter at the grocery store, etc. I'm friendly and make an effort to learn the names of people I see a lot, and try to exchange at least a pleasantry with them and acknowledge I remember them, as well as thank them.

I still like doing this, but there is just so much rudeness and hostility in the world today, it gets harder. Not from people in the service industry, for the most part. I feel really bad for retail-level workers who have to deal with so much awful behavior from people all day long. I can't even imagine. No wonder it's so hard to hire people into those jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

People used to host things like this in their homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our society has condoned, encouraged and supported our sense of self entitlement. We all deserve something. We are all owed something. We have regressed to toddlerhood where we think the world revolves around us. We are afraid to speak up because we are also entitled to lash out at anyone who challenges our entitlement.

This doesn't make sense.

In a functional society, we ARE all owed something, and that is basic decency. That' the whole point of society. And in a functional society, we would be able to assert that right to basic decency and not have it constantly come into conflict with people's selfish desire to do whatever the heck they want regardless of how it impacts others.

But we live in a dysfunctional society, so even something as simple as suggesting that a person not play their music on a personal device in a public space that is meant to be shared with others, gets twisted into encroaching on that person's "right" to do whatever they want.

People have lost sight of what exactly it is we are all owed, in favor of borderline anarchy where you are owed whatever you are willing to try an assert over others, etiquette/laws/decency be damned.

Agree. But when did the majority become so mentally deficient?

It's basically the plot of Idiocracy. My smart, well adjusted, financially secure friends had 0-2 kids, some had 3. My unemployed, mentally unstable, constantly broke, not married friends have 3-7 kids. One friend whose boyfriend has been in and out of rehab and they keep breaking up, just announced baby #5. And they're calling it a rainbow baby because they had a miscarriage between #4 and #5.

Intelligence is genetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD (4) had a birthday two weeks ago. One mom brought her 15 year old son to the party (why?!!) and he stuffed 10 of the specially decorated cookies that I'd had made in his pockets. The mom actually watched him and didn't say no. There weren't enough cookies for the little kids and one kid even cried. We were short SO many cookies that I couldn't figure out what had happened. My friends and also some family members later told me what happened. My best friend told him kindly that he'd had enough, but the mom shrugged her shoulders. So she then took the platter and walked away with it. I actually thought they were joking when they said he was putting them in his pockets. Nope, he really had.

I'm so sick of parents not parenting their kids. Parents confuse "gentle parenting" for basically kid anarchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

Dude - it’s a Starbucks not a library. Try the library or pay for a space if you want a space that is exactly as you want it.

OP here and people will do this sort of thing at the library too. I know several public librarians and dealing with rude, entitled, hostile people is like 90% of their job. It sucks.

DP here. People of all types need to stop taking up tables for lengthy, unreasonable periods, point blank.

"Loitering" laws and rules used to be enforced against things like this, but they can't anymore.

Some of it really is wokeness run amok. Ten years ago there was not this expectation that you could just walk into a coffee shop and sit at a table and not buy anything and be rude to other people. I mean, people still did it, but there wasn't an expectation. Now, it is Starbucks stated policy that anyone can do that, and use their bathroom and wifi, and they won't kick you out. Which actually sucks for everyone who works there and all the paying customers, but we've collectively decided anything else is morally wrong. It's... weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's just because it's Monday, maybe it's because I went to work at a coffee shop this morning and within five minutes a guy came down to sit next to me who was playing house music on an iPhone without headphones, and then a woman came to sit on my other side and joined an evangelical prayer circle on speaker phone and then paused to to ask me if I'd buy her a coffee because she forgot her wallet.

Hell, truly, is other people.

Feel free to explain how terrible people are here. I will validate ALL your complaints.

[Anonymous]

What's the story with people who listen to stuff without headphones? Just a total lack of self awareness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

People used to host things like this in their homes.

I think that’s the problem around here and in cities in general which are more expensive. People don’t have a large enough home and/or backyard to host the whole church group. I know I sure don’t. But I have some concept of “hey, let’s not monopolize all 5 tables at Starbucks so that other people can actually sit and so we’re not in the way” and would take my meeting to a larger space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

Dude - it’s a Starbucks not a library. Try the library or pay for a space if you want a space that is exactly as you want it.

OP here and people will do this sort of thing at the library too. I know several public librarians and dealing with rude, entitled, hostile people is like 90% of their job. It sucks.

DP here. People of all types need to stop taking up tables for lengthy, unreasonable periods, point blank.

"Loitering" laws and rules used to be enforced against things like this, but they can't anymore.

Some of it really is wokeness run amok. Ten years ago there was not this expectation that you could just walk into a coffee shop and sit at a table and not buy anything and be rude to other people. I mean, people still did it, but there wasn't an expectation. Now, it is Starbucks stated policy that anyone can do that, and use their bathroom and wifi, and they won't kick you out. Which actually sucks for everyone who works there and all the paying customers, but we've collectively decided anything else is morally wrong. It's... weird.

Define “wokeness”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

People used to host things like this in their homes.

I think that’s the problem around here and in cities in general which are more expensive. People don’t have a large enough home and/or backyard to host the whole church group. I know I sure don’t. But I have some concept of “hey, let’s not monopolize all 5 tables at Starbucks so that other people can actually sit and so we’re not in the way” and would take my meeting to a larger space.

Libraries, rec centers, and other publicly funded locations offer meeting spaces for exactly this kind of event at no or very low charge. And the staff are generally very good at helping people who may not have internet access or know how to do something like an online reservation, so you don't need to be super tech savvy or have a home computer and internet or a smart phone to do it. Just go to the library and explain what you are looking for.

In DC there are dozens of libraries for this, all ADA compliant, all located walking distances from bus stops and metro stations.

There is no excuse for trying to host stuff like this in places where it's going to burden the workers or make it hard for people to patronize a business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

Dude - it’s a Starbucks not a library. Try the library or pay for a space if you want a space that is exactly as you want it.

OP here and people will do this sort of thing at the library too. I know several public librarians and dealing with rude, entitled, hostile people is like 90% of their job. It sucks.

DP here. People of all types need to stop taking up tables for lengthy, unreasonable periods, point blank.

"Loitering" laws and rules used to be enforced against things like this, but they can't anymore.

Some of it really is wokeness run amok. Ten years ago there was not this expectation that you could just walk into a coffee shop and sit at a table and not buy anything and be rude to other people. I mean, people still did it, but there wasn't an expectation. Now, it is Starbucks stated policy that anyone can do that, and use their bathroom and wifi, and they won't kick you out. Which actually sucks for everyone who works there and all the paying customers, but we've collectively decided anything else is morally wrong. It's... weird.

Define “wokeness”.

I'm specifically talking about "wokeness run amok" which I would define as eliminating rules or boundaries that serve a social good because of the *perception* of unfairness to marginalized groups, even when that unfairness doesn't actually exist or can be better addressed another way. In this case, we've basically ruined what used to be a third space shared by many people and made it a space that serves one purpose, poorly. That doesn't make sense.

Look, I think Bari Weiss is a hack grifter too, but that doesn't mean that we can't call out stupidity when it happens.

[Anonymous]

This is not a new sentiment. Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote "One can love one's
neighbors in the abstract, or even at a distance, but at close quarters it's almost impossible." Such is man. Capable of either being a saint or worse than a cockroach.