General complaint: people are THE WORST

[Anonymous]

My DD (4) had a birthday two weeks ago. One mom brought her 15 year old son to the party (why?!!) and he stuffed 10 of the specially decorated cookies that I'd had made in his pockets. The mom actually watched him and didn't say no. There weren't enough cookies for the little kids and one kid even cried. We were short SO many cookies that I couldn't figure out what had happened. My friends and also some family members later told me what happened. My best friend told him kindly that he'd had enough, but the mom shrugged her shoulders. So she then took the platter and walked away with it. I actually thought they were joking when they said he was putting them in his pockets. Nope, he really had.

I'm so sick of parents not parenting their kids. Parents confuse "gentle parenting" for basically kid anarchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our society has condoned, encouraged and supported our sense of self entitlement. We all deserve something. We are all owed something. We have regressed to toddlerhood where we think the world revolves around us. We are afraid to speak up because we are also entitled to lash out at anyone who challenges our entitlement.

This doesn't make sense.

In a functional society, we ARE all owed something, and that is basic decency. That' the whole point of society. And in a functional society, we would be able to assert that right to basic decency and not have it constantly come into conflict with people's selfish desire to do whatever the heck they want regardless of how it impacts others.

But we live in a dysfunctional society, so even something as simple as suggesting that a person not play their music on a personal device in a public space that is meant to be shared with others, gets twisted into encroaching on that person's "right" to do whatever they want.

People have lost sight of what exactly it is we are all owed, in favor of borderline anarchy where you are owed whatever you are willing to try an assert over others, etiquette/laws/decency be damned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD (4) had a birthday two weeks ago. One mom brought her 15 year old son to the party (why?!!) and he stuffed 10 of the specially decorated cookies that I'd had made in his pockets. The mom actually watched him and didn't say no. There weren't enough cookies for the little kids and one kid even cried. We were short SO many cookies that I couldn't figure out what had happened. My friends and also some family members later told me what happened. My best friend told him kindly that he'd had enough, but the mom shrugged her shoulders. So she then took the platter and walked away with it. I actually thought they were joking when they said he was putting them in his pockets. Nope, he really had.

I'm so sick of parents not parenting their kids. Parents confuse "gentle parenting" for basically kid anarchy.

OP here. That's so rude! Also, that's not "gentle parenting", however people want to define it. That's not parenting at all. Things are really off when you can't even tell a teenager to stop being an a$$ and share the cookies with the small children. Ugh, I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our society has condoned, encouraged and supported our sense of self entitlement. We all deserve something. We are all owed something. We have regressed to toddlerhood where we think the world revolves around us. We are afraid to speak up because we are also entitled to lash out at anyone who challenges our entitlement.

It's due to bad parenting. I am anti spanking but I really wonder if we just haven't equipped parents with enough parenting skills. It takes A LOT to make some kids behave: discussion, rewards, taking things away, constant vigilance and catching bad behavior every time. Whereas those same kids would have shaped up instantly if they were spanked.

Also, school totally reinforces a lack of consequences. Kids can do anything in school and there are no consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

OP here and you are right. Though I will say this specific Starbucks was a perfectly good place to work pre-pandemic -- I have been WFH for years and this Starbucks is right near my kid's summer camp so I've been working there on summer mornings periodically for years. I was so thrilled when both camp and Starbucks re-opened post Covid because I enjoyed this summer ritual of treating myself to a pastry and an iced coffee on Mondays while I went through email and got started on my work week.

Not anymore, I won't go back. There are other coffee shops nearby but honestly I might just skip it altogether. It's not worth it when people just behave like neanderthals everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agreed. I was at the airport for too many hours yesterday and there were so many adults watching videos on their phones without headphones. It's rude.

Never met an airport bar I didn’t like. Better than the lounges.

[Anonymous]

Nah - people are horrible everywhere. In the heart of the Midwest airport listening to a guy watching some pro gun video on loud.

[Anonymous]

I was just at the supermarket and an older man (75ish) was kind of blocking the way. Dead stop in the middle of an aisle blocking the way from several angles. I went around him with room to spare so I could get to a corner of the prepared food section. He deliberately hit me with his cart and faked an "I'm sorry" in the flattest most dead tone . It was so bizarre I just walked away. I'm self aware enough to know he might have thought I was rude by going around him, but hitting me instead of saying something was bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

Dude - it’s a Starbucks not a library. Try the library or pay for a space if you want a space that is exactly as you want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our society has condoned, encouraged and supported our sense of self entitlement. We all deserve something. We are all owed something. We have regressed to toddlerhood where we think the world revolves around us. We are afraid to speak up because we are also entitled to lash out at anyone who challenges our entitlement.

It's due to bad parenting. I am anti spanking but I really wonder if we just haven't equipped parents with enough parenting skills. It takes A LOT to make some kids behave: discussion, rewards, taking things away, constant vigilance and catching bad behavior every time. Whereas those same kids would have shaped up instantly if they were spanked.

Also, school totally reinforces a lack of consequences. Kids can do anything in school and there are no consequences.

Eh, I was spanked and it was bad parenting -- I actually had to work hard in adulthood to curb the impulsive, violent behavior that my parents spanking taught me was okay. So no, spanking is not the answer.

But I agree we are doing a bad job of teaching parents alternatives. Your options are not letting your kid do whatever they want, or hitting them. And actually, authoritative parenting with proper limits and consequences (but not hitting or harsh punishments like denying kids food or sleep or school) ultimately makes parenting easier because kids behave pretty well when they understand why the rules are and how to follow them.

Most people are ill equipped to do this though. Most people don't want to follow the rules themselves, much less set up rules for their kids and then actually enforce them. So they just let their kids run amok and do whatever they want, that way the parent can also just do whatever they want too, and it's a nightmare for literally everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD (4) had a birthday two weeks ago. One mom brought her 15 year old son to the party (why?!!) and he stuffed 10 of the specially decorated cookies that I'd had made in his pockets. The mom actually watched him and didn't say no. There weren't enough cookies for the little kids and one kid even cried. We were short SO many cookies that I couldn't figure out what had happened. My friends and also some family members later told me what happened. My best friend told him kindly that he'd had enough, but the mom shrugged her shoulders. So she then took the platter and walked away with it. I actually thought they were joking when they said he was putting them in his pockets. Nope, he really had.

I'm so sick of parents not parenting their kids. Parents confuse "gentle parenting" for basically kid anarchy.

+1

Some parents are overcompensating for their terrible parents, and it shows. Hands off, completely - is not parenting, it is setting your kid up for failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

Dude - it’s a Starbucks not a library. Try the library or pay for a space if you want a space that is exactly as you want it.

OP here and people will do this sort of thing at the library too. I know several public librarians and dealing with rude, entitled, hostile people is like 90% of their job. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our society has condoned, encouraged and supported our sense of self entitlement. We all deserve something. We are all owed something. We have regressed to toddlerhood where we think the world revolves around us. We are afraid to speak up because we are also entitled to lash out at anyone who challenges our entitlement.

It's due to bad parenting. I am anti spanking but I really wonder if we just haven't equipped parents with enough parenting skills. It takes A LOT to make some kids behave: discussion, rewards, taking things away, constant vigilance and catching bad behavior every time. Whereas those same kids would have shaped up instantly if they were spanked.

Also, school totally reinforces a lack of consequences. Kids can do anything in school and there are no consequences.

Eh, I was spanked and it was bad parenting -- I actually had to work hard in adulthood to curb the impulsive, violent behavior that my parents spanking taught me was okay. So no, spanking is not the answer.

But I agree we are doing a bad job of teaching parents alternatives. Your options are not letting your kid do whatever they want, or hitting them. And actually, authoritative parenting with proper limits and consequences (but not hitting or harsh punishments like denying kids food or sleep or school) ultimately makes parenting easier because kids behave pretty well when they understand why the rules are and how to follow them.

Most people are ill equipped to do this though. Most people don't want to follow the rules themselves, much less set up rules for their kids and then actually enforce them. So they just let their kids run amok and do whatever they want, that way the parent can also just do whatever they want too, and it's a nightmare for literally everyone.

Simple. Lazy people should not procreate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Like most of us in the city or populated suburbs, I live near a bunch of Starbucks and every one of them is always full of people on their bulls***. It’s not a place to study or do work anymore. Maybe it used to be but not since at least 2015 if not earlier. It’s full of loud talking people, usually on the phone. Sketchy business meetings for what sounds like MLM’s or sketchy financial services. People asking for cash. I’ve seen the prayer meetings and relatively large meetings of political/civic groups in very small Starbucks locations, taking up nearly every table in the place. That drives me particularly up the wall because I’m in the suburbs and Panera and Wegmans with the tables/seating areas are close by and much larger. And honestly probably quieter. I’d sooner take my laptop to the buffet seating areas at Wegmans or Whole Foods at this point vs. a cramped Starbucks with people on their worst behavior.

Dude - it’s a Starbucks not a library. Try the library or pay for a space if you want a space that is exactly as you want it.

OP here and people will do this sort of thing at the library too. I know several public librarians and dealing with rude, entitled, hostile people is like 90% of their job. It sucks.

DP here. People of all types need to stop taking up tables for lengthy, unreasonable periods, point blank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just at the supermarket and an older man (75ish) was kind of blocking the way. Dead stop in the middle of an aisle blocking the way from several angles. I went around him with room to spare so I could get to a corner of the prepared food section. He deliberately hit me with his cart and faked an "I'm sorry" in the flattest most dead tone . It was so bizarre I just walked away. I'm self aware enough to know he might have thought I was rude by going around him, but hitting me instead of saying something was bizarre.

+1

People who go to these extremes are not right in the head - the carts in the middle of the aisle are a prime example - as if they are challenging you to say something. Damn right I will!