Can a promiscuous man change his ways?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did. I never cheated, just have a very high drive. I married someone who has a similar drive, and have never had a desire to cheat.

How many years have you been married? How many kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was that guy. By any definition- the player who slept with well over 100 girls from 16-27. But, when I decided I wanted to change and settle down to have a family, I found my one and never looked back. 15 years later and can honestly say I never cheated. Just ask him - is he truly ready to change? And hope he’s being honest. Also, if sex is important to him (and it probably is since he sounds high drive) then be sure you are willing to keep it a part of your relationship.

I agree with this, except it's really not a matter of "ready to change." Someone who is single and sleeps with a lot of partners doesn't require a "change" to be faithful when in a committed relationship. It's just not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Go ask the Dog Brothers from MTV’s Sex in the 90s series. Those two dudes were major players…Google them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how old he is.

If he’s 27 I’d say yes, lots of men and women had crazy times in their teens and 20’s and he may be just coming down to earth at this point in his life.

No relationship longer than a year and he’s 45? Nope!

This. Don’t be me OP: I spent my mid-twenties chasing an incurable player. Guess what? He’s still a player (and now 45).

[Anonymous]

Promiscuous people generally have a mental health issue. Borderline personality, narcissism, poor coping skills, daddy issues, Bipolar, histrionic personality disorder, etc. There is a difference between high drive and enjoying it in a relationship---versus banging people as soon as you meet them, one night stands, affairs and cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Promiscuous people generally have a mental health issue. Borderline personality, narcissism, poor coping skills, daddy issues, Bipolar, histrionic personality disorder, etc. There is a difference between high drive and enjoying it in a relationship---versus banging people as soon as you meet them, one night stands, affairs and cheating.

^promiscuous men AND WOMEN.

[Anonymous]

It hasn’t been my experience. You cannot fix him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been my experience. You cannot fix him.

Or HER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was that guy. By any definition- the player who slept with well over 100 girls from 16-27. But, when I decided I wanted to change and settle down to have a family, I found my one and never looked back. 15 years later and can honestly say I never cheated. Just ask him - is he truly ready to change? And hope he’s being honest. Also, if sex is important to him (and it probably is since he sounds high drive) then be sure you are willing to keep it a part of your relationship.

What do people like you think about all the women from your past that you led along and tossed? Do you ever think of them and the truaka you inflicted onto the world? How do you sleep at night with one woman peacefully after doing all this? What about the 100 women you slept with before? Do you feel entitled to those women before your final wife? What happens to the men and women who have to deal with the trauma you inflicted in the aftermath of your player game?

Trauma I inflicted? WTH are you implying. These were all consensual relationships with willing partners. I’m not saying that there were not some broken hearts or hurt feelings- mine included - but “trauma”? Give me a break. We were young and having fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was that guy. By any definition- the player who slept with well over 100 girls from 16-27. But, when I decided I wanted to change and settle down to have a family, I found my one and never looked back. 15 years later and can honestly say I never cheated. Just ask him - is he truly ready to change? And hope he’s being honest. Also, if sex is important to him (and it probably is since he sounds high drive) then be sure you are willing to keep it a part of your relationship.

What do people like you think about all the women from your past that you led along and tossed? Do you ever think of them and the truaka you inflicted onto the world? How do you sleep at night with one woman peacefully after doing all this? What about the 100 women you slept with before? Do you feel entitled to those women before your final wife? What happens to the men and women who have to deal with the trauma you inflicted in the aftermath of your player game?

Trauma I inflicted? WTH are you implying. These were all consensual relationships with willing partners. I’m not saying that there were not some broken hearts or hurt feelings- mine included - but “trauma”? Give me a break. We were young and having fun.

These are only 9.09 women per year. I am mid 40s divorced woman, and already on my 4th partner in 5 months. However, in my 20s I only slept with 5 between age 21-25, and (the most unfortunate fact) only with one exH between 25-42. Lots of catching up to do! LOL

[Anonymous]

IME they do not change, rather their opportunities change and their priorities change. They do not lose the need for validation and remain extracurricular attention-seekers even if they no longer follow though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been my experience. You cannot fix him.

As long as they aren’t doing anything wrong, do they need fixing?

You may not agree with their lifestyle but they aren’t broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been my experience. You cannot fix him.

As long as they aren’t doing anything wrong, do they need fixing?

You may not agree with their lifestyle but they aren’t broken.

if you are married, it is a huge problem. DUH. that's why it's being asked.