Can a promiscuous man change his ways?

[Anonymous]

*side chick, not dude chick

I’ve seen the sane in female friend groups. His side chick was the same as him—all of her friends were on Ashley Madison and they all traded D stories and tips on how to cover it up/not get caught. They had willing ears to listen about their affairs and brag about their partner’s Ds.

[Anonymous]

I was a major womanizer before meeting my wife. Met her, 24 years laters have been 100% faithful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was that guy. By any definition- the player who slept with well over 100 girls from 16-27. But, when I decided I wanted to change and settle down to have a family, I found my one and never looked back. 15 years later and can honestly say I never cheated. Just ask him - is he truly ready to change? And hope he’s being honest. Also, if sex is important to him (and it probably is since he sounds high drive) then be sure you are willing to keep it a part of your relationship.

What do people like you think about all the women from your past that you led along and tossed? Do you ever think of them and the truaka you inflicted onto the world? How do you sleep at night with one woman peacefully after doing all this? What about the 100 women you slept with before? Do you feel entitled to those women before your final wife? What happens to the men and women who have to deal with the trauma you inflicted in the aftermath of your player game?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend slept with over 500 woman before getting married. He has been married 18 years and never cheated.

And now there are 500 women that have had the experience of being played by him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend slept with over 500 woman before getting married. He has been married 18 years and never cheated.

And now there are 500 women that have had the experience of being played by him

Come on, women are doing the same damn thing. They have choice and agency and, frankly, they rival men in their complete disgusting sluttiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If all of his friends are players and cheat on their wives, it’s unlikely. Who you hang with says a lot about you and your values. My exH didn’t cheat until year 18, but had been hearing his buddies’ stories of infidelity and use of dating apps that whole time until he decided in midlife to try it too. He used one of them as an alibi even. One of them even met one of the dude chicks. You never would have believed it from the outside and how he acted with family.

Good point. Quality men would not countenance this in their friends.

I was close to a woman who had an emotional affair that devastated her husband (who was 2,000x more solid than the man she was drawn to). It truly impacted how I saw my friend, though she is still with her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend slept with over 500 woman before getting married. He has been married 18 years and never cheated.

And now there are 500 women that have had the experience of being played by him

Come on, women are doing the same damn thing. They have choice and agency and, frankly, they rival men in their complete disgusting sluttiness.

Except you don’t label the man a slut.

He gets called a “player.”

See the misogyny built into that cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If all of his friends are players and cheat on their wives, it’s unlikely. Who you hang with says a lot about you and your values. My exH didn’t cheat until year 18, but had been hearing his buddies’ stories of infidelity and use of dating apps that whole time until he decided in midlife to try it too. He used one of them as an alibi even. One of them even met one of the dude chicks. You never would have believed it from the outside and how he acted with family.

Good point. Quality men would not countenance this in their friends.

I was close to a woman who had an emotional affair that devastated her husband (who was 2,000x more solid than the man she was drawn to). It truly impacted how I saw my friend, though she is still with her husband.

My husband and I discussed in premarital counseling that we would be forgiving of emotional affairs.

[Anonymous]

My brother-in-law met the love of his life. They could not be more compatible, more in love, etc. Then things hit a rough patch that affected their sex life. He cheated. If you are sure nothing will affect your sex life, then things may work out.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*side chick, not dude chick

I’ve seen the sane in female friend groups. His side chick was the same as him—all of her friends were on Ashley Madison and they all traded D stories and tips on how to cover it up/not get caught. They had willing ears to listen about their affairs and brag about their partner’s Ds.

Unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If all of his friends are players and cheat on their wives, it’s unlikely. Who you hang with says a lot about you and your values. My exH didn’t cheat until year 18, but had been hearing his buddies’ stories of infidelity and use of dating apps that whole time until he decided in midlife to try it too. He used one of them as an alibi even. One of them even met one of the dude chicks. You never would have believed it from the outside and how he acted with family.

Good point. Quality men would not countenance this in their friends.

I was close to a woman who had an emotional affair that devastated her husband (who was 2,000x more solid than the man she was drawn to). It truly impacted how I saw my friend, though she is still with her husband.

My husband and I discussed in premarital counseling that we would be forgiving of emotional affairs.

That's so idiotic. Way to set the bar low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend slept with over 500 woman before getting married. He has been married 18 years and never cheated.

And now there are 500 women that have had the experience of being played by him

Come on, women are doing the same damn thing. They have choice and agency and, frankly, they rival men in their complete disgusting sluttiness.

So you are both gross and hurt other people. So? You think bad behavior from others justifies yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a major womanizer before meeting my wife. Met her, 24 years laters have been 100% faithful.

I don't think any better of you. I still think all of these relationships are about you.

[Anonymous]

I did. I never cheated, just have a very high drive. I married someone who has a similar drive, and have never had a desire to cheat.