Can a promiscuous man change his ways?

[Anonymous]

Anyone married or settled down with a player type guy and had it turn out ok?

[Anonymous]

Oh you poor, sweet summer child.

MOVE ON.

[Anonymous]

Define “ok.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh you poor, sweet summer child.

MOVE ON.

+1

You're his current focus and maybe he's love-bombing you and assuring you that you are The One Who Changes Everything.

He possibly even genuinely believes this himself--for now. So he's even more convincing, because he's in his own love fog and swearing you're the full package and he'd have no need or desire to be with other women after You.

But if he's truly promiscuous, he eventually will be distracted and attracted elsewhere. And no terrific personality or sweet ways or incredible looks or high-price "lifestyle" can make up for it, if you value fidelity and don't want to share him. Move on. If he's making promises about changing his ways, look at his behaviors and not his promises. I had a relative who was like that, and the overall track record, not the vow to each woman in succession that she was The One, is what mattered in the end. Every. Single. Time.

[Anonymous]

You can't get alterations on a dresss you haven't bought.

Marry the man today and change his ways tomorrow!

[Anonymous]

Depends on how old he is.

If he’s 27 I’d say yes, lots of men and women had crazy times in their teens and 20’s and he may be just coming down to earth at this point in his life.

No relationship longer than a year and he’s 45? Nope!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't get alterations on a dresss you haven't bought.

Marry the man today and change his ways tomorrow!

Be my friend, PP. Anyone who knows "Guys and Dolls" is OK by me.

That song is the best bad advice ever.

Marry the man today.
Trouble though he may be
Much as he likes to play
Crazy and wild and free
Marry the man today
Rather than sigh in sorrow
Marry the man today
And change his ways tomorrow....
Carefully expose him to domestic life
And if he ever tries to stray from you
Have a pot roast.
Have a headache
Have a baby
Have two!....

[Anonymous]

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

[Anonymous]

No. Run away, don’t walk. Once a womanizer, always a womanizer. Even if you’re newly married. Better now than in ten years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

But if you hate the game, don’t try to settle down with the player.

Do you want your life and marriage and family to be a game?

[Anonymous]

I was that guy. By any definition- the player who slept with well over 100 girls from 16-27. But, when I decided I wanted to change and settle down to have a family, I found my one and never looked back. 15 years later and can honestly say I never cheated. Just ask him - is he truly ready to change? And hope he’s being honest. Also, if sex is important to him (and it probably is since he sounds high drive) then be sure you are willing to keep it a part of your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Do you believe in miracles?

[Anonymous]

I love one and no, i don’t think he will change. His options will shrink as he ages but he’s a risk taking entrepreneur trying to squeeze the last drop of everything in life. I have had so much fun with him and learned a lot, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

The key here is that he’s honest about it to himself and others, and that he’s not a thoughtless, selfish person.

And I’m somehow not possessive of him one iota even though I have been jealous on occasion in other relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was that guy. By any definition- the player who slept with well over 100 girls from 16-27. But, when I decided I wanted to change and settle down to have a family, I found my one and never looked back. 15 years later and can honestly say I never cheated. Just ask him - is he truly ready to change? And hope he’s being honest. Also, if sex is important to him (and it probably is since he sounds high drive) then be sure you are willing to keep it a part of your relationship.

But now, 15 years later: There'smuch more incredibly easy, fast access to sex partners on dating apps, and so many different dating apps to use than there were just 15 years ago. There's just so much opportunity out there for anyone (man or woman) who is the least bit inclined to sleep around, cheat on a committed partner, have just one fling or a string of affairs, etc. Even someone who has decided to settle down now has a vast trove of potential sex partners at his or her fingertips if they feel the tiniest itch. Not saying you'd do that, PP, just noting that it gets easier and easier, seemingly with each passing year, to find sex partners and that doesn't bode well if OP wants to settle down with a man who is strongly inclined to have a lot of partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love one and no, i don’t think he will change. His options will shrink as he ages but he’s a risk taking entrepreneur trying to squeeze the last drop of everything in life. I have had so much fun with him and learned a lot, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

The key here is that he’s honest about it to himself and others, and that he’s not a thoughtless, selfish person.

And I’m somehow not possessive of him one iota even though I have been jealous on occasion in other relationships.

Does the bold mean that you are in an open relationship, so everyone knows he sleeps with other people, and do his partners know you exist?
Do you also have other partners and he knows about them, as you know about his?
That's all not quite what i suspect OP is talking about, though.