Boyfriend dumped me and I don’t know why

[Anonymous]

Block him. If he can hurt you like this, he is not someone you want in your life. Move on and be glad he showed his true colors. My two cents, he met someone else. Your "we were spending more time together" was the trigger for me. When I met my significant other we were never apart (well almost never) because he could not stand to not be around me, and I him. It's like that early in a passionate relationship. Perhaps you thought it was something it wasn't, I do not know. But I do know he would not hurt you like this if he truly cared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


He probably got scared. It has been a year and he mentioned getting serious. He might not be where he wants to be financially and thinks it is all too much, too soon. He did you a favor by not stringing you along any longer. The why is so unimportant and as someone mentioned frequently lied about to spare feelings. One way or another, you were not the one. Men are frequently cowardly about break-ups. Mourn briefly and get back on dating sites.

As are women, ask me how I know? Good luck Op, you can do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s definitely not that the parents didn’t like me. In fact, they loved me. The dad got a little tipsy and told me so, he even asked if I approved of them, lol. It makes it all the more crappy because I was looking forward to knowing them better.

Maybe he found someone else. I guess I will never know.

It seems likely that maybe things getting more serious scared him. It’s weird because he was the initiator of escalating things, and was open recently about wanting to be more serious. I enjoyed the other aspects of our relationship so much, that I was perfectly fine with moving slow. I did not take it as a sign he was not into me, because we always consistently had such a great time together. I never wanted him to offer anything he could not.

He didn’t think you were as into him as he was into you and it scared him.

Men are idiots. Text him and say you don’t understand what went wrong, and want to meet to discuss it. If you want to bother. He sounds weak, I wouldn’t go back myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow that is horrible. Were there any red flags in hindsight?

There really were not a ton of red flags I could think of. He is a little standoffish with respect to emotional intimacy. However over time he started to let me in more.

Good riddance. That sounds like too much work for a dating situation.

[Anonymous]

As women, we really want to buy into this "he got scared" mentality. Men who are that scared of women don't date for a year, introduce them to their parents, etc.

Men aren't complicated. To send OP a Dear John text after a year, he met, or had already met, someone else.

So sorry OP, it's awful and many of us have been there. But this wasn't the guy for you. Have a good cry and then buck up, you'll find someone who deserves you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a really odd situation. My boyfriend of a year recently broke up with me and I have no idea why. Our relationship has been wonderful from my perspective. We are solid friends, have good sex, similar hobbies, laugh a lot together, and find each other hot. Recently our relationship started to progress. He introduced me to his parents (it went well) and we’d been upping the amount of time we spend together.

Out of the blue he started shutting down. Just being more quiet than usual. This lasted several days. I asked what was up and he said nothing. Then he texted one day and said he wanted to end things with no explanation. When I tried to talk about it he pushed me away.

I’m at a loss for what happened. I suspect he will reach out again one day. We really had a fun way of relating to each other. But I don’t think I can get over how it ended. Would you just block and delete.

Well saying the obvious maybe he had different opinions about these things. A major reason men break up is because the sex is not good. Not many people will tell you this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As women, we really want to buy into this "he got scared" mentality. Men who are that scared of women don't date for a year, introduce them to their parents, etc.

Men aren't complicated. To send OP a Dear John text after a year, he met, or had already met, someone else.

So sorry OP, it's awful and many of us have been there. But this wasn't the guy for you. Have a good cry and then buck up, you'll find someone who deserves you.

Exactly this. Or as things got more serious, he realized he didn’t like OP enough to marry her—not that he was scared. Be glad he didn’t wait longer and try to find someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is it possible you weren't pulling your weight with drugstore items like Q-Tips, toenail clippers, melatonin, Beano, etc? Those things can add up and may have created a resentment.

Beano and toenail clippers!

Exsqueeze me, PP? These things are not inexpensive.

[Anonymous]

Was it soon after he met your parents / fam?

people who are catches sometimes don’t get how much their fam reflects on them when things get super serious

[Anonymous]

If he was seeing someone else why introduce her to his parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely delete (you should be able to commiserate with friends over wine and not worry about sending a tipsy text) and probably block. As others have said, you dodged a bullet. Breaking up in that manner after being together over a year is incredibly inconsiderate and callous. Even if he no longer wants to be with you, he should care enough about your feelings to end things more maturely. We're all adults here.

Breaking up after 1 year should have been done in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As women, we really want to buy into this "he got scared" mentality. Men who are that scared of women don't date for a year, introduce them to their parents, etc.

Men aren't complicated. To send OP a Dear John text after a year, he met, or had already met, someone else.

So sorry OP, it's awful and many of us have been there. But this wasn't the guy for you. Have a good cry and then buck up, you'll find someone who deserves you.

Exactly this. Or as things got more serious, he realized he didn’t like OP enough to marry her—not that he was scared. Be glad he didn’t wait longer and try to find someone else.

This. He realized you weren't the long term partner for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As women, we really want to buy into this "he got scared" mentality. Men who are that scared of women don't date for a year, introduce them to their parents, etc.

Men aren't complicated. To send OP a Dear John text after a year, he met, or had already met, someone else.

So sorry OP, it's awful and many of us have been there. But this wasn't the guy for you. Have a good cry and then buck up, you'll find someone who deserves you.

Exactly this. Or as things got more serious, he realized he didn’t like OP enough to marry her—not that he was scared. Be glad he didn’t wait longer and try to find someone else.

This. He realized you weren't the long term partner for him.

Fine. At least he realized it a year in, and not several years in. But it's beyond immature to break up and not do it face to face like an actual adult. OP dodged a bullte because a "man" who doesn't break up in a mature, direct, compassionate way is not a man worth keeping.

[Anonymous]

What I wanted to say but by mistake said to someone else is that if he is on medication, or was, or should be, or was planning to go on it, it could be that he forgot who OP is, or where they know each other from, so when OP says "what is going on?" he thinks "who is this person? "Do I know this person?" and leaves it at that. So often these common misunderstandings are the root cause of the conflict or issue at hand. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I confess I haven’t read the whole thread but I am an older married women who dated a ton before finding the right guy. You owe it to yourself to have a sit down with this person and an explanation. Otherwise you will waste time and emotional space wondering why—and that makes it harder to move on. Confront him, for your own psychic sake, then you can get past it quicker.