Boyfriend dumped me and I don’t know why

[Anonymous]

Omg who cares, he’s a douche

[Anonymous]

I would text him “you’re a complete a-hole” and block. Unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's happening on his socials?

What do you see when you go around his place?

Have you asked his friends?

Call the police for a welfare check?

I really hope this post, above, is intended as sarcasm. If it is, PP, we can't tell your tone in a post and this comes off as jerkish.

Checking social media and asking friends? Needy, clingy, immature, and his friends will tell him you're a mess.

Going around to his place to watch and see who comes and goes? Stalkerish. If a man did that to a woman after a breakup, we'd be on this forum yelling for her to protect herself and saying he's about to go full stalker. So do not advise a woman to do it to a man--it's no more appropriate than if the roles are reversed.

Calling the cops for a welfare check? WAY beyond the pale in a breakup, and a waste of police time. Do NONE of the above, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It’s definitely not that the parents didn’t like me. In fact, they loved me. The dad got a little tipsy and told me so, he even asked if I approved of them, lol. It makes it all the more crappy because I was looking forward to knowing them better.

Maybe he found someone else. I guess I will never know.

It seems likely that maybe things getting more serious scared him. It’s weird because he was the initiator of escalating things, and was open recently about wanting to be more serious. I enjoyed the other aspects of our relationship so much, that I was perfectly fine with moving slow. I did not take it as a sign he was not into me, because we always consistently had such a great time together. I never wanted him to offer anything he could not.

[Anonymous]

Your bf got an STD from someone else. End of story.

[Anonymous]

I would guess there is someone else, but what a coward for not speaking with you face to face. Heck my teenagers do better when ended relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s definitely not that the parents didn’t like me. In fact, they loved me. The dad got a little tipsy and told me so, he even asked if I approved of them, lol. It makes it all the more crappy because I was looking forward to knowing them better.

Maybe he found someone else. I guess I will never know.

It seems likely that maybe things getting more serious scared him. It’s weird because he was the initiator of escalating things, and was open recently about wanting to be more serious. I enjoyed the other aspects of our relationship so much, that I was perfectly fine with moving slow. I did not take it as a sign he was not into me, because we always consistently had such a great time together. I never wanted him to offer anything he could not.

I'm sorry, OP - that's really sh**ty. Who knows what happened. Assuming things really are over, outside of ego bruising, it seems hard to think of why you couldn't just send him one more messaging saying that yes, you're broken up, but you feel you deserve an explanation - even if it's one you won't like. He may not respond, who knows, but maybe he'll tell you.

In any case, you spent a year of your life with this, in good faith, thinking that you were getting closer - and I don't blame you for feeling shell shocked and upset. I hope you have friends who'll take you out - or stay home with you - and bring a pizza. You'll find someone else - someone who doesn't play games, and who is ready for what you're ready for.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me. My boyfriend was really bad at communicating and sharing feelings due to some childhood trauma so he just didn't share his feelings. He got annoyed by something and instead of being an adult and sitting me down to say "Hey, this annoyed me," he decided to just break up with me. We later got back together because he said he was confused and apologized.

He still is really bad at communicating. It can be frustrating and exhausting. He was annoyed with me this week because my friend is having an affair and he's uncomfortable with it. (I am VERY uncomfortable with it which he would know if he talked to me about it like an adult instead of just stewing for a day)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me. My boyfriend was really bad at communicating and sharing feelings due to some childhood trauma so he just didn't share his feelings. He got annoyed by something and instead of being an adult and sitting me down to say "Hey, this annoyed me," he decided to just break up with me. We later got back together because he said he was confused and apologized.

He still is really bad at communicating. It can be frustrating and exhausting. He was annoyed with me this week because my friend is having an affair and he's uncomfortable with it. (I am VERY uncomfortable with it which he would know if he talked to me about it like an adult instead of just stewing for a day)

Did he reach out to you when you reconciled or you texted/called ? Not OP but someone in a similar situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me. My boyfriend was really bad at communicating and sharing feelings due to some childhood trauma so he just didn't share his feelings. He got annoyed by something and instead of being an adult and sitting me down to say "Hey, this annoyed me," he decided to just break up with me. We later got back together because he said he was confused and apologized.

He still is really bad at communicating. It can be frustrating and exhausting. He was annoyed with me this week because my friend is having an affair and he's uncomfortable with it. (I am VERY uncomfortable with it which he would know if he talked to me about it like an adult instead of just stewing for a day)

Did he reach out to you when you reconciled or you texted/called ? Not OP but someone in a similar situation

He did. I said I was owed an explanation and he was like, I'm just frustrated with you lately which I said was fair but why wouldn't we discuss it. So then we discussed it and became more connected than ever. But all this to say, 30something men don't suddenly become skilled at communicating. So, think very carefully if this is something you can tolerate.

[Anonymous]

He’s gay

[Anonymous]

OP is it possible you weren't pulling your weight with drugstore items like Q-Tips, toenail clippers, melatonin, Beano, etc? Those things can add up and may have created a resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would guess there is someone else, but what a coward for not speaking with you face to face. Heck my teenagers do better when ended relationships.

But when women do it there totally brave, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is it possible you weren't pulling your weight with drugstore items like Q-Tips, toenail clippers, melatonin, Beano, etc? Those things can add up and may have created a resentment.

Beano and toenail clippers!

[Anonymous]

He probably got scared. It has been a year and he mentioned getting serious. He might not be where he wants to be financially and thinks it is all too much, too soon. He did you a favor by not stringing you along any longer. The why is so unimportant and as someone mentioned frequently lied about to spare feelings. One way or another, you were not the one. Men are frequently cowardly about break-ups. Mourn briefly and get back on dating sites.