Why do so many men lack introspection? I

[Anonymous]

Women lack self awareness just as much as men, especially the conventionally attractive women who have had people catering to them their entire adult lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women lack self awareness just as much as men, especially the conventionally attractive women who have had people catering to them their entire adult lives.

That’s a subsection of women and as looks fade, introspection becomes possible.

When life throws its challenges, we humans usually become defensive or introspective. The challenge, our upbringing, our brains as well as our gendered experience will all contribute to what we do. And the situation. The same person can be defensive in one setting and introspective in others.

I do think society “teaches” women to be more introspective than men. But I also find people of color more introspective, due to systemic biases against them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do offer up what I did to contribute to relationships falling apart. And when I figure out what I did or someone else tells me what I did, I try to work on that thing so I can be a better partner.

I meet a lot of men who either A cant name anything they did wrong to lead to a major failed relationship (say divorce). Or B say what they did wrong (i.e. infidelity, poor communication, bad temper) and continue to engage in those behaviors and expect a woman to stick around.

and you're still single so.......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women lack self awareness just as much as men, especially the conventionally attractive women who have had people catering to them their entire adult lives.

That’s a subsection of women and as looks fade, introspection becomes possible.

When life throws its challenges, we humans usually become defensive or introspective. The challenge, our upbringing, our brains as well as our gendered experience will all contribute to what we do. And the situation. The same person can be defensive in one setting and introspective in others.

I do think society “teaches” women to be more introspective than men. But I also find people of color more introspective, due to systemic biases against them.

What genetics and upbringing leads to better introspection? I really think it's hard to have a relationship with someone who can't relate to another person or think about their own actions. I just don't think it works in any situation other than some sort of parallel play lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Don’t try and pretend that those posts asking what a female poster did to create the situation don’t mostly go something like “Did you gain weight or cut your hair recently?”


Incel.

Why would I “try and pretend”? Why not “try to pretend”? Good grammar is the hallmark of good writing.

Also, I am a married father of six. Look up the definition of the word “incel” before you try to use it since you do not know what it means. Try to keep up here.

Yes, many male posters respond as you suggest. However, my point stands since female posters start the complaints without any acknowledgment of what the may have done to create the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women lack self awareness just as much as men, especially the conventionally attractive women who have had people catering to them their entire adult lives.

That’s a subsection of women and as looks fade, introspection becomes possible.

When life throws its challenges, we humans usually become defensive or introspective. The challenge, our upbringing, our brains as well as our gendered experience will all contribute to what we do. And the situation. The same person can be defensive in one setting and introspective in others.

I do think society “teaches” women to be more introspective than men. But I also find people of color more introspective, due to systemic biases against them.

What genetics and upbringing leads to better introspection? I really think it's hard to have a relationship with someone who can't relate to another person or think about their own actions. I just don't think it works in any situation other than some sort of parallel play lifestyle.

Some people have more innate empathy that others…probably distributed among sexes and races equally.

However the society and family dynamics and experiences further condition how that empathy is developed. Whether it should be suppressed, cultivated.

Introspection stems from there.
The flip side is defensiveness and blame. I’d argue that our society rewards some responses over others and stigmatises others. I think generalisations can be made here but I am too lazy to write and then defend them, but I think the stereotypes speak for themselves.

And, of course, exceptions always exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Don’t try and pretend that those posts asking what a female poster did to create the situation don’t mostly go something like “Did you gain weight or cut your hair recently?”


Incel.

Why would I “try and pretend”? Why not “try to pretend”? Good grammar is the hallmark of good writing.

Also, I am a married father of six. Look up the definition of the word “incel” before you try to use it since you do not know what it means. Try to keep up here.

Yes, many male posters respond as you suggest. However, my point stands since female posters start the complaints without any acknowledgment of what the may have done to create the situation.

Oh look, you went straight to grammar. That’s code for “I have nothing worthwhile to say in reply.”

Also, this is an anonymous message board so how could I “try and keep up” with your passel of six children. I don’t know or care about you or them. Do you even know how birth control works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Don’t try and pretend that those posts asking what a female poster did to create the situation don’t mostly go something like “Did you gain weight or cut your hair recently?”


Incel.

Why would I “try and pretend”? Why not “try to pretend”? Good grammar is the hallmark of good writing.

Also, I am a married father of six. Look up the definition of the word “incel” before you try to use it since you do not know what it means. Try to keep up here.

Yes, many male posters respond as you suggest. However, my point stands since female posters start the complaints without any acknowledgment of what the may have done to create the situation.

Dude, "incel" is a state of mind and is not limited to virgins on discord whining about how awful women are because they can't get laid. Keep up.

[Anonymous]

Why would I “try and pretend”? Why not “try to pretend”? Good grammar is the hallmark of good writing.

Also, I am a married father of six. Look up the definition of the word “incel” before you try to use it since you do not know what it means. Try to keep up here.

Yes, many male posters respond as you suggest. However, my point stands since female posters start the complaints without any acknowledgment of what the may have done to create the situation.

Oh look, you went straight to grammar. That’s code for “I have nothing worthwhile to say in reply.”

Also, this is an anonymous message board so how could I “try and keep up” with your passel of six children. I don’t know or care about you or them. Do you even know how birth control works?

Your grammar was bad and using it made your post look bad. It is not code for anything other than you should use better grammar.

I do know about birth control. I had two kids with my first wife before she passed and I consider my second wife's four children mine as well. That is how I got to six. You do not need to keep up with my kids. You do need to keep up with the previous posts if you are going to reply.

Dude, "incel" is a state of mind and is not limited to virgins on discord whining about how awful women are because they can't get laid. Keep up.

Replying in an angrier tone does not make you right. Instead, it makes you appear sad and weak. Trying to make the word "incel" mean whatever you want it to mean makes you look even weaker.

[Anonymous]

I think you're assuming that you're taking a bias-free random sampling. Perhaps consider that the less introspective types are more likely to want to date you. Question is how you date a more evolved sample to prospects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?

Who is responsible for your failed relationships? Was it the man every time?

OP here. I am saying that the men I run across in dating almost always believe relationship failure is 100% their exes fault. Very rarely I come across one who can identify something he did wrong, and once I get to know him better I discover he still engages in that same behavior, yet feels entitled to a good relationship.

How many women have you dated?

How many anyones would go on a date and say "BTW I'm the reason my relationships fail. Let's try one!"

This is selection bias.

Nice try at gaslighting OP. She’s not saying she is never at fault (at least so far), she merely wants to find a man like her.
It’s possible we need to think of how to filter out people like this quicker bec I too want to meet someone willing to try to understand the other person as well as themselves.

[Anonymous]

I guess I never really thought about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I never really thought about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women lack self awareness just as much as men, especially the conventionally attractive women who have had people catering to them their entire adult lives.

That’s a subsection of women and as looks fade, introspection becomes possible.

When life throws its challenges, we humans usually become defensive or introspective. The challenge, our upbringing, our brains as well as our gendered experience will all contribute to what we do. And the situation. The same person can be defensive in one setting and introspective in others.

I do think society “teaches” women to be more introspective than men. But I also find people of color more introspective, due to systemic biases against them.

No. Women are taught by society to expect special treatment and rules do not apply to them.

[Anonymous]

The male comments prove her point .