Why do so many men lack introspection? I

[Anonymous]

When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?

[Anonymous]

Doing your work is VERY hard. For men especially - they are so afraid that once they scratch the first layer, everything will fall apart.

[Anonymous]

I'm not introspective because it's a lot of work.

But that's separate from thinking that I'm always right. I know I'm generally wrong.

[Anonymous]

I think society teaches men that they do not have to grow and become better. They don't think they are perfect, just that it's okay to be as they are and anybody who disagrees is crazy or accusing them of being a bad person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?

Women do the exact same thing. It's not a gender thing, it's a personality thing. Just click on a few threads in this subforum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?

Whose fault was your divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not introspective because it's a lot of work.

But that's separate from thinking that I'm always right. I know I'm generally wrong.

lol.. DH and DS say the same. Too much work. Don't want to think about. They also don't like to dwell on anything that makes them feel bad, and I think if they did too much self reflection, they'd start to feel bad about some things.

I, OTH, do too much self reflection, less now than when I was younger. I'm too tired and busy to do much self reflection these days.

We need to find a happy middle ground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?

I mean, you're the common denominator in this scenario. It's something about what YOU'RE attracted to.

The irony of your premise that this is some kind of universal male trait is hilarious, though. It's 100% the man's fault. You lack introspection about why you keep attracting men like this.

[Anonymous]

Intro what?!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?

I mean, you're the common denominator in this scenario. It's something about what YOU'RE attracted to.

The irony of your premise that this is some kind of universal male trait is hilarious, though. It's 100% the man's fault. You lack introspection about why you keep attracting men like this.

It's not universal. Some men aren't like this, and most men who have actually been to therapy aren't.

[Anonymous]

It’s because society places very little value on male self-awareness and mandates a huge amount of it for women. When a man murders or rapes a woman it’s still often pinned on her behavior (what was she wearing/why was she out a night) and the underpinning “why did this man behave violently” is barely examined. So it’s hard to fault individual men for not valuing introspection in themselves and working at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?

I mean, you're the common denominator in this scenario. It's something about what YOU'RE attracted to.

The irony of your premise that this is some kind of universal male trait is hilarious, though. It's 100% the man's fault. You lack introspection about why you keep attracting men like this.

It's not universal. Some men aren't like this, and most men who have actually been to therapy aren't.

Except OP is blaming "men" instead of being introspective and asking the better question of what is about HER that attracts her to the very few men who are this way?

Therapy is a bunch of hooey bullshit, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?

I mean, you're the common denominator in this scenario. It's something about what YOU'RE attracted to.

The irony of your premise that this is some kind of universal male trait is hilarious, though. It's 100% the man's fault. You lack introspection about why you keep attracting men like this.

It's not universal. Some men aren't like this, and most men who have actually been to therapy aren't.

Except OP is blaming "men" instead of being introspective and asking the better question of what is about HER that attracts her to the very few men who are this way?

Therapy is a bunch of hooey bullshit, BTW.

dp.. what OP is describing is pretty common.

They did a study which looked at how men and women deal with personal reflection at work.

If a job was well done, the man usually attributed it to his own efforts, whereas a woman would say it was really a team effort

If a job was not well done, the man usually blames others than himself, whereas a woman usually will shoulder some blame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating I constantly run across men who cannot be self reflective. If there’s a problem
It’s always 100% the other persons fault. It’s so frustrating? Do they think they are perfect? Just have no interest in growing and becoming a better person?

I mean, you're the common denominator in this scenario. It's something about what YOU'RE attracted to.

The irony of your premise that this is some kind of universal male trait is hilarious, though. It's 100% the man's fault. You lack introspection about why you keep attracting men like this.

It's not universal. Some men aren't like this, and most men who have actually been to therapy aren't.

Except OP is blaming "men" instead of being introspective and asking the better question of what is about HER that attracts her to the very few men who are this way?

Therapy is a bunch of hooey bullshit, BTW.

She's probably hot, but also, *you* are that way so it cannot be an insult that she's attracting men like you, right?

[Anonymous]

Men don’t need to be introspective because women's anxiety forces woman to point out everything little thing that men do wrong, could turn out wrong or might be wrong.