Anonymous wrote:
I crossed the Atlantic at 21 and never looked back. My mother is a hyperanxious control freak. I had to cut her off for 6 months just to get her to act normal, and not call my husband a jerk loser and my toddler daughter fat.
Now we're good. She's older, she sees how successful we are at life and parenting, and it's making her think twice about challenging us now. And every time she tries to push me, I now have the stature (in her eyes) that a humorous response or a blunt "cut that out" will make her stop. It did not use to before: she'd have a complete meltdown and cry to my father and pretend to be a victim, and then he'd rush to her defense. Not anymore. She knows she won't win, and my father finally understands he doesn't need to be her side kick. They finally see me as my own person. In my 20s and part of my 30s, I was just an extension of themselves and nothing I said or did had any effect on their conviction that my life needed to be micromanaged by them.
Like others have said, it starts with dysfunction. Even perfectly intelligent, patient and reasonable individuals have a hard time extirpating themselves from Scylla and Charybdis when their parents are like this.
Good for you, PP. You are living proof that taking a stand and standing your ground works.
This is why some of the DCUM weaklings are so maddening. “Oh, but my parents would throw a fit and give me the silent treatment.” UM, OK. So either you don’t need them at all and good riddance, or they will come around and fall in line, as evidenced by PP’s story right here.
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