Allowing 12yo to celebrate with small glass of champagne?
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Anonymous
| Why would you do this? Stupid. |
Anonymous
This is the answer. My kids have eaten food with alcohol in it. I serve them sparkling grape or apple juice in wine glasses for toasts on special occasions. I’ve never poured them a glass of alcohol, but I’d let a kid who is 12 or older have one sip on a special occasion if they asked. |
Anonymous
| I definitely think it's in poor taste. |
Anonymous
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Is she asking for this? Is she your youngest and you have older kids that will be partaking? If no and no, I don't see *why* you'd do this even though I have no actually problem with it. I think fetishizing alcohol is generally not a healthy thing to do and the suggestion that she couldn't possibly celebrate without joining does that. I think it's different if she asks or is curious, but for you to independently make it a big deal is a mistake.
That said, if you're going to do it, definitely do a small amount so it's symbolic and she doesn't get a buzz (you'll be surprised how little is necessary for that, especially if she hasn't eaten or is dehydrated from travelling). |
Anonymous
| This was fine in my French family. |
Anonymous
| I mean do whatever you want, but this doesn't seem like the thing to crowd source here. Has your kid never seen alcohol before? In most houses kids see adults drink beer, wine, champagne and such all the time and they know that this is for adults and not kids. Alcohol is an acquired taste and even if your kids were willing to try a sip they would not enjoy it and would probably be disgusted. |
Anonymous
A once a year religious ritual where wine is an actual component of the ritual is obviously a very different thing than gratis, hotel provided champagne on vacation. Catholic children are able to drink a sip of Communion wine from age 8 or 9. No one takes issue with that. |
Anonymous
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I’d offer them a sip of yours. Even if they do try it, odds are, they won’t like it, and it will reinforce that it’s not something they want. on the off chance that they do like it, you might give them a small portion. You might offer them something to celebrate that they would enjoy (“You can have a taste of this, but if you want, we can get you some ice cream, maybe a milkshake or banana split to celebrate.”)
Growing up, I was welcome to sample anything my parents were drinking (they rarely drank). I almost always hated it, and as an adult, am a virtual non- drinker (I may average a glass every 2-4 years, if that). When my kids were young, we’d let them have a sample of their dad’s drinks if they wanted (as mentioned above, I generally didn’t have anything for them to sample). They, similarly, discovered that they just didn’t like the taste. They’d generally refuse the chance to try something, only rarely tasting it to ascertain that it was as odious as they remembered. Both are now of legal drinking age. While I have no reliable knowledge of what they drink as independent adults, I strongly suspect that one probably drinks less than I do (they’re a bit of a health nut), and the other might have an occasional cocktail with her friends, but is unlikely to drink to excess. (This one REALLY loathed the taste and is an extremely independent/dominant personality who while very social, is going to do what they want regardless of what others are doing. They’re also a bit of a control freak and I don’t see them readily ceding control to anything, much less alcohol). We also talked to them about drinking safely and responsibly, their small statures making them more susceptible to what others might consider small amounts of alcohol, and their family history of alcoholism. |
Anonymous
| 12 is too young for a glass of any size, imho. Our kids love sparkling cider and consider that a huge celebratory treat. We allow our kids to have a sip of our drinks if they’re curious, so far nothing appeals. Oldest is 14 and was given a small glass of champers at a recent family gathering and he toasted but didn’t drink much. Seems about right to us. We are light drinkers who boozed heavily in our youths. |
Anonymous
This is hilarious. So, it’s in poor taste, kids should never do it, you’re a terrible mother…wait! Religious? Totally fine. |
Anonymous
| We'll let our kids try anything we have - beer, wine, whiskey, whatever - but I would not pour a glass of alcohol for a 12 year old. |
Anonymous
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I think a a sip is fine, I’m not sure I would go past that.
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Anonymous
Judging you about your poor parenting. |
Anonymous
You’ve already given evidence of being a bad parent, you bad parent. |
Anonymous
+1000 I’m trying to figure out how the alcohol in the religious ceremony is different from the alcohol that would be in OP’s daughters glass… |