Feeling terrible about being a “geriatric” mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In this area you are not old at all. People treat me like a teen mom when they find out I had my kids at age 29 and 31. I’m actually terrified that I’ll be an empty nester by 49 and I have no idea what I will do with myself since I’m too young to take all the fun classes designed for seniors and too old to do all the fun late night young-people activities.

Had my kid in my mid-20s and I am in no way terrified about my young empty nest years. Had that as a "countdown clock" motivator in my mind during the infant/early toddler stage, which I really struggled with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you taking care of your body and mind, OP?

TTC is tough.

I had multiple miscarriages between 30 - 37. Conceived and my son naturally at 38. Went through two full IVF rounds after that.

You'll be fine, age-wise when it happens. Just get lots of exercise, meditate, eat well, talk with friends/family/therapist, etc. It is so stressful to go through this and sometimes those closest to us -- especially those with kids! -- don't always know how to broach the subject with those who are TTC.

The best TTC advice I can give is to stop thinking about TTC.

[Anonymous]

You are probably more frustrated with not being a mother. Lots of people have kids in their kid in their mid to late thirties. Not uncommon at all.

[Anonymous]

You need therapy if not having your life work out perfectly has you this thrown you’ll probably have a nervous breakdown trying to raise children.

[Anonymous]

I had mine at 27 and 29 and was treated horribly in this area. I joined a first time moms group and I was easily 8-10 years younger than everyone else there and they all scoffed and snickered at me when it was my turn to talk. I'd also get annoying comments at the park or library assuming I was the babysitter, unmarried, my kids were unplanned, or asking me if they have the same dad (yes they do, one child is a red head and one blonde).

The reality was that DH and I had been dating since high school, married, at 25, bought a house at 26, and very much planned our kids. By profession I am a postpartum doula and newborn care specialist. I have a masters in child psychology. I could have been such a great, supportive friend to those moms in my new mom group.

I'm rambling but my point is that you are very much the average age first time mom around here and will hopefully be more accepted because of it. I'm really sorry that your timeline didn't play out how you intended- life always takes it's own course.