Feeling terrible about being a “geriatric” mother

[Anonymous]

Had my youngest at 39. He is 18 now. I make efforts to be fit and healthy, so that I can continue to be in his life for a long, long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 50 with a 10yo. She is adopted, what exactly is your concern?

50 with an 11yo. Not adopted, if it matters (it shouldn’t/doesn’t). Not sure what there is to feel terrible about, op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to a series of bad decisions and bad luck here I am still TTC at 36. I technically started trying at 34 but had a series of miscarriages and here we are a few years later and still TTC. When I think about being a first tile mother at 37 and 38 I feel horrible.This was never my plan. I wanted to be married by 25 and had at least one child before 30 and finished TTC before 35.

And yet here I am not even a mother yet. I also am beginning to see a physical decline in my body and it drives home the point that I am home and how will I have energy to raise a baby?

Sometimes I feel like my time to be a mother has passed and I should move on.

Just like everything in life, some things will suck being older but you are wiser, maybe more financially stable and will appreciate your time/baby I think more than when if you had your baby at 20.

I think I remember thinking I would not wish infertility on my worst enemy. The pain of it all is gone the moment you hear you are pregnant. Personally, at the time I had to keep trying bc it was so important to me to be a mom.

[Anonymous]

In this area you are not old at all. People treat me like a teen mom when they find out I had my kids at age 29 and 31. I’m actually terrified that I’ll be an empty nester by 49 and I have no idea what I will do with myself since I’m too young to take all the fun classes designed for seniors and too old to do all the fun late night young-people activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m waiting for some little wench to come on here and say “oooh struck a nerve didn’t I?” F- off.

Or Brunch Granny.

BG needs to F off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has got to be a troll post.

All I ever read on DCUM is complainers.

--single mom by choice, kids at 39 and 43

Rolling my eyes at this post. What makes OP a troll? No one cares about you, SMBC.

Is that like SMH? Shaking my butt cheeks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m waiting for some little wench to come on here and say “oooh struck a nerve didn’t I?” F- off.

Or Brunch Granny.

BG needs to F off

She's the worst. So proud to be a 42 year old grandmother with an ambitionless daughter birthing at 21. It's very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to a series of bad decisions and bad luck here I am still TTC at 36. I technically started trying at 34 but had a series of miscarriages and here we are a few years later and still TTC. When I think about being a first tile mother at 37 and 38 I feel horrible.This was never my plan. I wanted to be married by 25 and had at least one child before 30 and finished TTC before 35.

And yet here I am not even a mother yet. I also am beginning to see a physical decline in my body and it drives home the point that I am home and how will I have energy to raise a baby?

Sometimes I feel like my time to be a mother has passed and I should move on.

It could be worse. You could be like me who had her first at 47! You are still young. Kids will keep you young. if it helps read the book the joy of later motherhood for some more positive perspectives (most of the moms in this book are in their 40s) https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Later-Motherhood-Natural-Healthy-ebook/dp/B079B6VCZ8/ref=mp_s_a_1_19?crid=3A6QNMXKQL27W&keywords=becoming+parent+40s&qid=1682289901&sprefix=becoming+parent+40s%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-19

It may not be how you envisioned your life which I understand from experience is disappointing but being an older parent can be amazing in ways you haven’t considered so give it a try.

[Anonymous]

How are you taking care of your body and mind, OP?

TTC is tough.

I had multiple miscarriages between 30 - 37. Conceived and my son naturally at 38. Went through two full IVF rounds after that.

You'll be fine, age-wise when it happens. Just get lots of exercise, meditate, eat well, talk with friends/family/therapist, etc. It is so stressful to go through this and sometimes those closest to us -- especially those with kids! -- don't always know how to broach the subject with those who are TTC.

[Anonymous]

Have tons of friends that have had kids in mid-40s. Also, infertility issues can affect people younger than you. My sister had to go on clomid in her later 20s in order to conceive. And another friend's husband was the problem (low sperm count) so you might have had problems no matter what age you started trying. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Friend of mine had IVF at age 22, as she and her boyfriend/husband had been trying since age 18. Me? I birthed at 39 and adopted at 42 (also single mom by choice). We eventually all got the lives we wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over it, OP. Had my kids at 36 and 39, am currently 46 and there is nothing geriatric about me. In fact, the 35 year old moms all think I'm 2-3 years older than them, not 10 years.

Wait till you are 56, and you might understand! Sorry!

Why are you sorry? I’m not. I’d rather be an older mom than a judgmental b- like you!

Oh, sorry, you misunderstood me. I AM 56, and yeah, the age is definitely starting to hit me. I didn't feel it at 46. I'm glad the 46 year old mom doesn't feel "geriatric" but I'm saying, come back in 10 more years.

[Anonymous]

I had my kids at 39 and 42. Would I have planned it this way? Nope. But here we are! There are certainly some drawbacks, but also advantages. You play the hand you’re dealt.

[Anonymous]

Had mine at 40. I look young but tired inside. Need more energy for a toddler. They will run you to the ground. Make sure it’s something you really want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m waiting for some little wench to come on here and say “oooh struck a nerve didn’t I?” F- off.

Something is seriously wrong with you. Maybe you are getting old and cranky? Calm down!