Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Books, documentaries, movies, YouTube videos, wikipedia articles, sometimes even social media posts.

You'll learn a lot more about the plight of the poor by reading a book written by a poor person than you will working alongside a poor person.

Huh? All this ensures is that you can pat yourself on the back for knowing all about poor people without ever actually knowing any poor people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Richer does not equal better.

If you believe it, then your kids might too.

+1
This is really why it matters that people understand their advantages. Because you start thinking that money = value, and that people with less money have less value. That because you (or your parents) worked hard, you "deserve" what you have, and then you start thinking that people who don't have what you do don't "deserve" it. I don't want a kid who thinks they are better than others because they are rich, or because their parents are rich, who looks down on people who have less, who assumes that poor people are worthless, who feels entitled to stuff and can't handle it or lashes out if they don't get what they think they deserve or are entitled to. If you treat money as just one thing that people can have, and one which does not carry positive moral value, and cultivate empathy for others, you're in good shape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do, what do you do to help them gain some perspective?

No snarky responses, please, this is a real concern and it’s hard to have these conversations in person.

We love the bubble our k-8 provides our kids — caring, small community, focus on kindness, etc. We plan to keep them in private school all the way — I’m not debating the value of private school for our kids.

We are also a relatively well-off family — seven figure HHI. We live a nice lifestyle, and I’m happy with how we spend our money.

However, I don’t know if it’s possible for my kids to gain perspective on how fortunate we/they are, and that most of the world (even within in US) doesn’t live like we do. We talk about it, I talk about my own, very modest childhood. My kids do chores and they get told no when they want to buy things. They have visited where my family comes from (parents are immigrants, I’m a POC) and have seen the poverty that exists there.

But their daily life and exposure is large homes, lots of toys, expensive experiences, and just generally abundant. Also beautiful school grounds and lots of resources to support their goals.

I went to HYP from a low-income public school and was really turned off by the spoiled, entitled private school kids who mostly found each other. I don’t want my kids to end up that way.

Sure, I care. But perspective can mean different things and we feel like we can share our values at home and through experiences we provide or do together as a family and extended family definitely one to think about if you don't want to raise affluenza, clueless kids, I'd agree! I think most of us can address this though, unless we don't care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private schools tend to be more diverse than public’s.

You really are out of touch. Your kids are doomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The public school your child would attend if they weren’t in private is probably the same in terms of demographics if you have a 7 figure HHI.

Because you choose to live in a neighborhood where everyone is rich and mostly white. Move.

[Anonymous]

Just enjoy the bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The public school your child would attend if they weren’t in private is probably the same in terms of demographics if you have a 7 figure HHI.

Because you choose to live in a neighborhood where everyone is rich and mostly white. Move.

To be blunt, a child from a 7 figure HHI household is going to feel very out of place, ostracized & the target of jealousy in a poorer neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Books, documentaries, movies, YouTube videos, wikipedia articles, sometimes even social media posts.

You'll learn a lot more about the plight of the poor by reading a book written by a poor person than you will working alongside a poor person.

More cluelessness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do, what do you do to help them gain some perspective?

No snarky responses, please, this is a real concern and it’s hard to have these conversations in person.

We love the bubble our k-8 provides our kids — caring, small community, focus on kindness, etc. We plan to keep them in private school all the way — I’m not debating the value of private school for our kids.

We are also a relatively well-off family — seven figure HHI. We live a nice lifestyle, and I’m happy with how we spend our money.

However, I don’t know if it’s possible for my kids to gain perspective on how fortunate we/they are, and that most of the world (even within in US) doesn’t live like we do. We talk about it, I talk about my own, very modest childhood. My kids do chores and they get told no when they want to buy things. They have visited where my family comes from (parents are immigrants, I’m a POC) and have seen the poverty that exists there.

But their daily life and exposure is large homes, lots of toys, expensive experiences, and just generally abundant. Also beautiful school grounds and lots of resources to support their goals.

I went to HYP from a low-income public school and was really turned off by the spoiled, entitled private school kids who mostly found each other. I don’t want my kids to end up that way.

To answer your question -- no I don't care. What you can do is try to raise them correctly to respect people and understand the world they live in. To understand that they are blessed and lucky and for whatever reason or no reason at all others are not. To be a force for good in the world and leave it a bit better. You do your best -- but there is no way to know if it will stick. My kids are rich kids -- nothing you can do about that. Private school, cc, trips everywhere, money for everything, college, grad school, and likely their kids college is already in the 529. They will get into good or great colleges. They will not have student debt. They can find what they want to do and not worry about money right away. And hopefully many years down the line they get 10-15 million each. Who knows how that will work out. You try your best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The public school your child would attend if they weren’t in private is probably the same in terms of demographics if you have a 7 figure HHI.

Because you choose to live in a neighborhood where everyone is rich and mostly white. Move.

Why? I could care a crap less about the race. But why would I not live someplace where everyone is rich? That is where rich people live.

[Anonymous]

There’s nothing worse than rich, privileged kids thinking they understand poor people because they watched a documentary or read an article or because their parents vacationed in a developing country. In many cases, I’d prefer they just lean into their out-of-touchness. That unbridled confidence that you pay so much for makes it hard for them to admit that there are things they just don’t understand. So maybe just stop trying to drill some sense of perspective into them and teach them to be humble sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The public school your child would attend if they weren’t in private is probably the same in terms of demographics if you have a 7 figure HHI.

Because you choose to live in a neighborhood where everyone is rich and mostly white. Move.

Why? I could care a crap less about the race. But why would I not live someplace where everyone is rich? That is where rich people live.

I don’t care where you live, but if your goal is to give your DC “perspective about their privilege,” you can’t do that if you live in a uniformly rich neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Books, documentaries, movies, YouTube videos, wikipedia articles, sometimes even social media posts.

You'll learn a lot more about the plight of the poor by reading a book written by a poor person than you will working alongside a poor person.

Huh? All this ensures is that you can pat yourself on the back for knowing all about poor people without ever actually knowing any poor people.

Also, a thing I'm seeing here is that rich people think there's them, and then poor people. No sense that there are people who are reasonably well-off, but not rich, or working class but not poor. It's like the world is made of people who need charity and people who can dispense it. That's the kind of nonsense I don't want my kid thinking. There is so much more to understand than "the plight of the poor." How can someone do good in the world if they understand it so little?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Books, documentaries, movies, YouTube videos, wikipedia articles, sometimes even social media posts.

You'll learn a lot more about the plight of the poor by reading a book written by a poor person than you will working alongside a poor person.

Huh? All this ensures is that you can pat yourself on the back for knowing all about poor people without ever actually knowing any poor people.

Well, are you going to pay yourself in the back for knowing poor people without having taken the time and effort to read what underprivileged people have written ?

I come from poverty so I don’t need to go out if my way to “expose” my kids to it, but I’d much rather my child have read Angels Davis, bell hooks, Malcom X, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Frederick Douglass, Ta-Nahisi Coates, Frederick Douglass, James Baldwin and even Lindy West, etc than feel like they are aware of who they are in the world just because they know some underprivileged people. You can still be obtuse, classist, racist, sexist, etc while knowing people from all walks of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The public school your child would attend if they weren’t in private is probably the same in terms of demographics if you have a 7 figure HHI.

Because you choose to live in a neighborhood where everyone is rich and mostly white. Move.

Why? I could care a crap less about the race. But why would I not live someplace where everyone is rich? That is where rich people live.

Because someday your kid is going to be around non-rich people. Maybe if they’re a doctor, or maybe they’re college roommate, teacher, professor, coach or teammates.