Infantilizing young adult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with society's obsession with infantilizing young adults. Shouldn't 21+ people be making their own decisions? I see parents deciding or pressurizing about grad plans, professions, living situation, dating age, marriage age etc etc. When did our country became India or Saudi Arabia?

Do you make all your own decisions or do you consult your spouse?

Giving a consult and forcing a decision are two different things.

It’s the same nobody is forcing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Treating 21+ as teens helps them feel like a young family. One friend bought their 22 year old a trip to Disneyland for his college graduation but not with his friends or girlfriend, parents themselves going with him like its a middle school graduation trip. Their son said no thank you, I don't need a graduation gift.

My friend goes to Europe after graduation with each child.

You think that’s infantile?

Disney trip with parents as a college graduation gift IS infantile. Ask any graduate and they would appreciate a fixed amount of money to go pick a destination and take your BF/GF or friends with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Treating 21+ as teens helps them feel like a young family. One friend bought their 22 year old a trip to Disneyland for his college graduation but not with his friends or girlfriend, parents themselves going with him like its a middle school graduation trip. Their son said no thank you, I don't need a graduation gift.

My friend goes to Europe after graduation with each child.

You think that’s infantile?

Disney trip with parents as a college graduation gift IS infantile. Ask any graduate and they would appreciate a fixed amount of money to go pick a destination and take your BF/GF or friends with you.

You’re assuming every 22-year old has a group of college best friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's up with society's obsession with infantilizing young adults. Shouldn't 21+ people be making their own decisions? I see parents deciding or pressurizing about grad plans, professions, living situation, dating age, marriage age etc etc. When did our country became India or Saudi Arabia?

Myob

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Treating 21+ as teens helps them feel like a young family. One friend bought their 22 year old a trip to Disneyland for his college graduation but not with his friends or girlfriend, parents themselves going with him like its a middle school graduation trip. Their son said no thank you, I don't need a graduation gift.

My friend goes to Europe after graduation with each child.

You think that’s infantile?

Europe is not Disneyland, lol.

[Anonymous]

The definition of adulthood is different across cultures. For White Americans is that their teens are having sex, working a minimum wage jobs, get a clunker car, vape or smoke weed, paying rent to parents/living in group home and fixing sandwiches for themselves. Want to go to college? Take a loan.

For other cultures - Focus on education and EC, socialize with like minded peers from good families. Want to become a couple? Sure, do a COUPLE of internships, take driving classes, take your multivitamins, keep your room clean, learn to cook with spices. College? Parents and/or college will pay the student. You also get a new car with all safety features as a present from parents. Stay home when you start a job. No need to pay rent to the parents at all...save for your retirement and down payment for your condo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Treating 21+ as teens helps them feel like a young family. One friend bought their 22 year old a trip to Disneyland for his college graduation but not with his friends or girlfriend, parents themselves going with him like its a middle school graduation trip. Their son said no thank you, I don't need a graduation gift.

My friend goes to Europe after graduation with each child.

You think that’s infantile?

Disney trip with parents as a college graduation gift IS infantile. Ask any graduate and they would appreciate a fixed amount of money to go pick a destination and take your BF/GF or friends with you.

So you’re just classist because Europe is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Treating 21+ as teens helps them feel like a young family. One friend bought their 22 year old a trip to Disneyland for his college graduation but not with his friends or girlfriend, parents themselves going with him like its a middle school graduation trip. Their son said no thank you, I don't need a graduation gift.

My friend goes to Europe after graduation with each child.

You think that’s infantile?

Europe is not Disneyland, lol.

That’s classists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The definition of adulthood is different across cultures. For White Americans is that their teens are having sex, working a minimum wage jobs, get a clunker car, vape or smoke weed, paying rent to parents/living in group home and fixing sandwiches for themselves. Want to go to college? Take a loan.

For other cultures - Focus on education and EC, socialize with like minded peers from good families. Want to become a couple? Sure, do a COUPLE of internships, take driving classes, take your multivitamins, keep your room clean, learn to cook with spices. College? Parents and/or college will pay the student. You also get a new car with all safety features as a present from parents. Stay home when you start a job. No need to pay rent to the parents at all...save for your retirement and down payment for your condo.

This isn’t Saudi Arabia or Iran.

Also, your kids don’t tell you everything they’re up to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The definition of adulthood is different across cultures. For White Americans is that their teens are having sex, working a minimum wage jobs, get a clunker car, vape or smoke weed, paying rent to parents/living in group home and fixing sandwiches for themselves. Want to go to college? Take a loan.

For other cultures - Focus on education and EC, socialize with like minded peers from good families. Want to become a couple? Sure, do a COUPLE of internships, take driving classes, take your multivitamins, keep your room clean, learn to cook with spices. College? Parents and/or college will pay the student. You also get a new car with all safety features as a present from parents. Stay home when you start a job. No need to pay rent to the parents at all...save for your retirement and down payment for your condo.

Tell us what country you’re from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they’re on their own dime, they can do whatever they want. Truly.

I think some parent like to pay, so they can exert control. If you don’t want your kid on your dime, then why are they???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the post from today about a father who wants his employed 24 yr old DD making $80,000 a year to pay rent and the mother says NO!

I saw that. I couldn’t believe people were defending the mother & daughter 😳

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The definition of adulthood is different across cultures. For White Americans is that their teens are having sex, working a minimum wage jobs, get a clunker car, vape or smoke weed, paying rent to parents/living in group home and fixing sandwiches for themselves. Want to go to college? Take a loan.

For other cultures - Focus on education and EC, socialize with like minded peers from good families. Want to become a couple? Sure, do a COUPLE of internships, take driving classes, take your multivitamins, keep your room clean, learn to cook with spices. College? Parents and/or college will pay the student. You also get a new car with all safety features as a present from parents. Stay home when you start a job. No need to pay rent to the parents at all...save for your retirement and down payment for your condo.

Both are extremes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The definition of adulthood is different across cultures. For White Americans is that their teens are having sex, working a minimum wage jobs, get a clunker car, vape or smoke weed, paying rent to parents/living in group home and fixing sandwiches for themselves. Want to go to college? Take a loan.

For other cultures - Focus on education and EC, socialize with like minded peers from good families. Want to become a couple? Sure, do a COUPLE of internships, take driving classes, take your multivitamins, keep your room clean, learn to cook with spices. College? Parents and/or college will pay the student. You also get a new car with all safety features as a present from parents. Stay home when you start a job. No need to pay rent to the parents at all...save for your retirement and down payment for your condo.

Tell us what country you’re from.

What will you do with that information??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The definition of adulthood is different across cultures. For White Americans is that their teens are having sex, working a minimum wage jobs, get a clunker car, vape or smoke weed, paying rent to parents/living in group home and fixing sandwiches for themselves. Want to go to college? Take a loan.

For other cultures - Focus on education and EC, socialize with like minded peers from good families. Want to become a couple? Sure, do a COUPLE of internships, take driving classes, take your multivitamins, keep your room clean, learn to cook with spices. College? Parents and/or college will pay the student. You also get a new car with all safety features as a present from parents. Stay home when you start a job. No need to pay rent to the parents at all...save for your retirement and down payment for your condo.

In American culture the ideal is: graduate from college (with as little debt as possible, but some is ok if necessary), live with roommates, get as high a paying job as possible, enjoy your twenties and eventually, years later, fall in love, move in together, marry, yada yada. Of course American culture is so broad and varied, and reality may not match up with what you hope for. But that is the hope for most people.