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I don’t think it is a marriage issue/ I think she needs a higher paying job. He is trying to pay off the mortgage and probably save for retirement which are usually seen as good adult things. Her job is not traditional hours and not much money so it doesn’t make sense at the limited hours she is working.
He is trying to say this and she is not getting it. It is hard being an adult sometimes. |
| this is a marriage issue but on her side. Her husband needs her to have a different job and she is digging her heels in. He is making good money, trying to pay off mortgage and save for retirement and she is worried about her haircut and her part time Starbucks job. |
But the original premise spoke to her paying income taxes at his marginal rate. Which is correct, she will. However his marginal rate is like 22%, not 35%. Their effective tax rate is likely in the teens. |
Ok so if you are paying $3,500 per month on a mortgage that is probably throwing off about $33,000 a year in mortgage interest. So now you are itemizing. Which means your tax rate is even lower. Why the hell would he pay an extra $1,100 a month at a mortgage with presumably a 3% interest rate? Especially if you are having cash flow issues? Your husband sounds like a financial moron. You also have too much house. |
That’s really basic finance I knew already when I started working, and I am not Even from This country |
You are nuts. And I really don’t see this guy stepping up so she can get a better job. He obviously doesn’t like being inconvenienced. He probably expects her to get a better job while somehow magically making the household run without his lifting a finger and oh yeah, something tells me that when she starts making more it’s not going to be “her” money anymore. They cannot afford to be socking away that much in mutual funds, plus it’s stupid to pay off a mortgage early assuming that they refinanced when rates are low (and even stupider if they didn’t). He’s artificially lowering the amount of money they have available so he can tell her that they’re broke and so no, she can’t have haircuts. This guy is a piece of work. |
| OP, Is your name on the house title??? |
This. An ztra $1k for the mortgage? When he could put that into stocks or retirement and maybe spend a little of it? |
You can't just wake up one day and get a six figure job, especially when you have kids, so that's not fair on his part if that's what he's trying to say. Op hasn't said anything about her education. Her salary isn't a lot but it doesn't all go to daycare. Many Americans live this way because childcare not being affordable. |
Yes, the house is new. We have an adjustable rate that won't change for another seven years. He logged into the mutual fund website yesterday, and I saw we have 116k in various accounts. Some of them are for college for both kids. He said he has put in 100k over the last few years. The profit was 150k last year but went down. I haven't seen his work retirement page. I do have an ira Roth with 6k under my name. He also has money from an old job's 401k. |
Op here. I mean, we have a new mortgage. We have been here for six months. I am an immigrant living in the US for seven years. My husband has higher education Ph.D., and I don't. I only have a 2-year degree, but it's from the US. Part time is best for me because my husband doesn't do anything at home. I made the most to understand if he doesn't have money left over because I feel bad. He's not taking my salary away, but I have only worked for a few months. I have been saving every paycheck—no debit card. Also, we only have one car. |
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I agree. The mortgage is the mortgage but why overpay by almost 1/3 every month?
That money could be better spent. Also $2k/ month for food and house supplies sounds high. OP, maybe find a job that you can do from home? |
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Op it’s good you are asking these questions. You have time to sort things out do you feel comfortable with your own financial security.
What is a good career path for you? Nursing? Medical assistant? Dental hygienist? Teaching? Your part time hours spent right now would be better off taking classes for certification towards a future professional career. Ideally you could start that job when your kids start school. Schools are desperate for substitutes right now. You could sign up as a lunch monitor or recess monitor and see if that’s a good fit for you. The kids will be in school in a few short years. If you were able to get, say, a teaching assistant job by then with healthcare and retirement benefits you can really take control of your financial future. Your husband does make some conservative financial decisions and on the whole that’s better than the opposite, but you need to have your own backup plan for your future earning potential. Good luck. |
The reasoning is paying less interest if you pay off earlier. It's cultural. |
$2k a month for food and household supplies with two kids seems low to me. |