Taxed a lot because spouse makes six figures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not worth it to work on the weekends and at poor paying retail job OP, has nothing to do with taxes. Why don't you want to be with your family on the weekends? The kids will be going to school soon enough and you can work retail then, there will be plenty of jobs available during the week.

It's amazing how much hate this board carries for working class women. OMG. And this is just one small example of the many comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I haven’t read all the comments and I want to say that it all depends on what you want. If he keeps his salary to himself and you want that $15k to yourself, just put the minimum withholding at work, tell him that you put the max, and have him pay whatever you owe in taxes out of his salary.
That’s what I did with my now ex before we started filing separately.

Ringing endorsement right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Going to a hairdresser is a waste of money. My mother cut mine as a kid. She taught me and my sister how to and then we did each other’s as we got older. In college and beyond I found a friend who, again, we could trust to exchange the task.

You have got to be kidding me. OP should find somebody willing to cut her hair for free so that her husband can dump a highly unusual if not insane amount of money into pre-paying the mortgage? Good grief.

Regardless, OP’s approach of sticking with her Starbucks job instead of getting a $200 allowance from an abusive, controlling husband is a really good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not worth it to work on the weekends and at poor paying retail job OP, has nothing to do with taxes. Why don't you want to be with your family on the weekends? The kids will be going to school soon enough and you can work retail then, there will be plenty of jobs available during the week.

It's amazing how much hate this board carries for working class women. OMG. And this is just one small example of the many comments.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Going to a hairdresser is a waste of money. My mother cut mine as a kid. She taught me and my sister how to and then we did each other’s as we got older. In college and beyond I found a friend who, again, we could trust to exchange the task.

You have got to be kidding me. OP should find somebody willing to cut her hair for free so that her husband can dump a highly unusual if not insane amount of money into pre-paying the mortgage? Good grief.

Regardless, OP’s approach of sticking with her Starbucks job instead of getting a $200 allowance from an abusive, controlling husband is a really good idea.

np. I don't know that it's insane. They're some period of time into a 7-year ARM in an era where the Fed continues to promise rising interest rates for the foreseeable future. In some form or other, I, too, would be looking for insulation against that, if I still had a mortgage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My biggest concern is that they have a big mortgage payment and spending is out of control for the husbands income. I mean, $160k is decent, but it’s not a gold mine around here. I can see if he brought in 300k, even 250k. But $160k a month isn’t much to brag about.

It’s unwise that he’s throwing the extra 1100 a month into the mortgage when they are barely hanging on.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with op making 15k on top of this, though. But someone should have a talk with her husband about finances.

I don't see the big deal. He's thinking long-term and wants to reduce the interest they pay. Maybe he's thinks it's insane to pay 500k throughout the loan. That is insane if you think about it. Most likely that's what the house is worth

It is sort of insane but that is what happens when you buy an adjustable rate mortgage. If they can't afford the amount they are paying on the mortgage without making OP feel guilty about buying money on food or forgoing haircuts, they either need to pay the regular payment on the mortgage or find different living arrangements.

This.

But seems like that mortgage payment is big enough on DH’s income alone. They are definitely house poor. Their approach is correct, however, but if they had a $2500 mortgage payment, that would make more sense. On his 160k alone, it’s a stretch. Seems like OP should try to get something that pays more like an admin assistant or receptionist somewhere to at least bring in 20-25 bucks an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse my aunt in the mid 1970s ion NY had a full time back clerk job to get out of house, the top fed tax rate hit 70 percent and NYS top tax rate 15 percent. Add in FICA and unemployment etc she was having 90 percent of paycheck withheld.

She was making 9k a year and after taxes made $900 a year.

My uncle made 200k a year in 1977 he actually told us so made at tax rates. That was a fortune back then.

Most wives back then did not work or owned boutiques or loss leading business to get tax deduction. Was no point working. My aunt had a high school equivalency so no way getting a job paying much

Your uncle’s salary then was equivalent to earning over $1million/yr today. I don’t feel bad that his wife earning the equivalent of $50k paid a lot of taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My biggest concern is that they have a big mortgage payment and spending is out of control for the husbands income. I mean, $160k is decent, but it’s not a gold mine around here. I can see if he brought in 300k, even 250k. But $160k a month isn’t much to brag about.

It’s unwise that he’s throwing the extra 1100 a month into the mortgage when they are barely hanging on.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with op making 15k on top of this, though. But someone should have a talk with her husband about finances.

I don't see the big deal. He's thinking long-term and wants to reduce the interest they pay. Maybe he's thinks it's insane to pay 500k throughout the loan. That is insane if you think about it. Most likely that's what the house is worth

It is sort of insane but that is what happens when you buy an adjustable rate mortgage. If they can't afford the amount they are paying on the mortgage without making OP feel guilty about buying money on food or forgoing haircuts, they either need to pay the regular payment on the mortgage or find different living arrangements.

This.

But seems like that mortgage payment is big enough on DH’s income alone. They are definitely house poor. Their approach is correct, however, but if they had a $2500 mortgage payment, that would make more sense. On his 160k alone, it’s a stretch. Seems like OP should try to get something that pays more like an admin assistant or receptionist somewhere to at least bring in 20-25 bucks an hour.

Then she’d have to pay for childcare and lose her flexibility. She found a job that works for her. She’s fine. I think she and her dh need to work out how much their both willing to sacrifice to pay off the house earlier. Right now it seems a bit off-balance and would probably be okay with some adjustments, like enough money for her to get a haircut every couple of months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse my aunt in the mid 1970s ion NY had a full time back clerk job to get out of house, the top fed tax rate hit 70 percent and NYS top tax rate 15 percent. Add in FICA and unemployment etc she was having 90 percent of paycheck withheld.

She was making 9k a year and after taxes made $900 a year.

My uncle made 200k a year in 1977 he actually told us so made at tax rates. That was a fortune back then.

Most wives back then did not work or owned boutiques or loss leading business to get tax deduction. Was no point working. My aunt had a high school equivalency so no way getting a job paying much

Your uncle’s salary then was equivalent to earning over $1million/yr today. I don’t feel bad that his wife earning the equivalent of $50k paid a lot of taxes.

He had massive amounts of people working for him. He was very smart. He would built things that did not exist. He retired at 80. His wife was bored which is why she worked. She was a “coupon clipper” at a bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Going to a hairdresser is a waste of money. My mother cut mine as a kid. She taught me and my sister how to and then we did each other’s as we got older. In college and beyond I found a friend who, again, we could trust to exchange the task.

You have got to be kidding me. OP should find somebody willing to cut her hair for free so that her husband can dump a highly unusual if not insane amount of money into pre-paying the mortgage? Good grief.

Regardless, OP’s approach of sticking with her Starbucks job instead of getting a $200 allowance from an abusive, controlling husband is a really good idea.

np. I don't know that it's insane. They're some period of time into a 7-year ARM in an era where the Fed continues to promise rising interest rates for the foreseeable future. In some form or other, I, too, would be looking for insulation against that, if I still had a mortgage.

I think it's sort of insane based on their income and their needs. I personally never get an ARM, but they did (I'm guessing it was mostly the DH's decision) and now they need to deal with the consequences. OP's husband apparently thinks that giving his wife grief about the cost of grooming and food is the way to handle their situation. I dunno, maybe you'd be okay forgoing haircuts and feeling guilty about buying your kids food and every other purchase because your husband wants to pay down the mortgage early but not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Going to a hairdresser is a waste of money. My mother cut mine as a kid. She taught me and my sister how to and then we did each other’s as we got older. In college and beyond I found a friend who, again, we could trust to exchange the task.

You have got to be kidding me. OP should find somebody willing to cut her hair for free so that her husband can dump a highly unusual if not insane amount of money into pre-paying the mortgage? Good grief.

Regardless, OP’s approach of sticking with her Starbucks job instead of getting a $200 allowance from an abusive, controlling husband is a really good idea.

np. I don't know that it's insane. They're some period of time into a 7-year ARM in an era where the Fed continues to promise rising interest rates for the foreseeable future. In some form or other, I, too, would be looking for insulation against that, if I still had a mortgage.

I think it's sort of insane based on their income and their needs. I personally never get an ARM, but they did (I'm guessing it was mostly the DH's decision) and now they need to deal with the consequences. OP's husband apparently thinks that giving his wife grief about the cost of grooming and food is the way to handle their situation. I dunno, maybe you'd be okay forgoing haircuts and feeling guilty about buying your kids food and every other purchase because your husband wants to pay down the mortgage early but not me.

You're being a little bit snarky. First of all, I am the DH. Second, we've already paid of our mortgage.

My comment was that I don't think pre-paying the mortgage, given the factors I outlined, is "insane."

There are other issues regarding how this couple handles their finances and marriage, and I've noticed here that people are extremely quick to pass judgment based on their own values. Different cultures handle things differently, and I think a little bit more understanding is needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not worth it to work on the weekends and at poor paying retail job OP, has nothing to do with taxes. Why don't you want to be with your family on the weekends? The kids will be going to school soon enough and you can work retail then, there will be plenty of jobs available during the week.

It's amazing how much hate this board carries for working class women. OMG. And this is just one small example of the many comments.

She is not a "working class woman," her dh makes 100k+ and works from home, according to her. She wants to work to break up the week and do something different, according to OP.

I am the pp, female and and grew up in an actual working class household. This is not one.

I mean, it's fine for her to want to do this and want to work but it sounds like her dh doesn't like her pulling 12 hour shifts every weekend when they don't actually need the money right now. OP will have ample time to do this once her youngest gets in kindergarten.

If they really needed the money it wouldn't be an issue for the dh. It sounds like they don't need the money, she's just taking a weekend job away from someone who does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone figured out that OP is a troll?

Yes, they are all over the place. It's fun to mess with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not worth it to work on the weekends and at poor paying retail job OP, has nothing to do with taxes. Why don't you want to be with your family on the weekends? The kids will be going to school soon enough and you can work retail then, there will be plenty of jobs available during the week.

It's amazing how much hate this board carries for working class women. OMG. And this is just one small example of the many comments.

She is not a "working class woman," her dh makes 100k+ and works from home, according to her. She wants to work to break up the week and do something different, according to OP.

I am the pp, female and and grew up in an actual working class household. This is not one.

I mean, it's fine for her to want to do this and want to work but it sounds like her dh doesn't like her pulling 12 hour shifts every weekend when they don't actually need the money right now. OP will have ample time to do this once her youngest gets in kindergarten.

If they really needed the money it wouldn't be an issue for the dh. It sounds like they don't need the money, she's just taking a weekend job away from someone who does.

Op here. I didn't indicate any of this. Zero reasons to assume this. I also don't work 12-hour shifts.

[Anonymous]

We are all taxed a lot.