13yr old's pediatrician just told her she is overweight and I am pissed

[Anonymous]

A lot of responses were assuming DD was 5 feet and 1/4 inch tall and 151 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pediatrician would be derelict in their duty if they did not run a BMI calculation and inform you that your child is overweight. It is standard practice. Being overweght comes with increased risk for a lot of chronic conditions such as Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. It is better to flag these things early rather than later in life.

Well it is obvious you are not in the medical field. 5 feet 5 inches and 150lbs on a teen still growing is not at risk for type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure. The girl also plays sports and works out year round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her BMI is high, but her doctor should do a body fat measurement before having any concern, because you are absolutely correct that, if she has a lot of muscle, a high BMI alone does not indicate a health issue.
I would likely change doctors if her current doctor does not grasp that issue.

This. My DD also has a high BMI but is muscular and has a large frame. Even as a baby she was just solid. People would be shocked when they picked her up because she was much heavier than you would expect based on looking at her. Her Dr didn't tell her to lose weight. She talked with her about all the components that go into weight. Not just fat but also muscle, bone size, bone density, breast size. And let her know BMI was designed as a population metric and doesn't provide meaningful info for individuals. She does not use the BMI chart at all in our check ups, but looks at the separate height and weight trends and can see that DD continues to track right on the same curves she's been on since early childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your size? What do you all eat at home?

My 13 year old son is not overweight but I did recently tell him for health reasons I thought he could eat a bit less red meat and choose some alternatives from time to time. I generally talk about balanced diet and protein and fruits and veggies.

It's hard to tell for sure what is going on based on an online post - though I think you may be in denial about the weight - and maybe the pediatrician shouldn't have said it in front of her, but maybe you need to know and another pediatrician would let you continue in denial.

why did you tell him to stop eating red meat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of responses were assuming DD was 5 feet and 1/4 inch tall and 151 pounds.

The OP corrected it a few comments down. Unfortunately DCUM doesn't let you edit posts

[Anonymous]

I don't think your pediatrician is entirely wrong, but there is nuance and some context to the BMI number. Nonetheless, I think he's right to raise it as something you and your DD should be managing.

[Anonymous]

I mean yes she’s overweight. But it doesn’t sound like the doc addressed it in a way that’s helpful beyond shaming/setting her up for an eating disorder. So I’m with you OP, this is unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

Man, I feel for doctors these days on some level. The lady is just doing her job OP. She is in fact overweight on the BMI chart.

First, muscle does not weight more than fat. Muscle is more dense so a pound of muscle is going to look different than a pound of fat for sure.

I think your role is to ask how your daughter feels. How did your daughter process what the doctor said? Talk together about how being an athlete can change body composition. All you did is just message to her daughter that the conversation upset YOU and you are not a safe space for her to talk about it anymore. Don't listen to the doctor. Don't worry. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5 ft 5.25 inches height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

Omg I am the OP. Sorry, she is 5 ft and 5.25 inches. I changed it

Okay that makes more sense for having a size 6 pant size and S/M clothes.

Your pediatrician sucks. Get a new one. Pediatricians should never use adult BMI indexes. There are none for teens for a reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised and sorry for you all but honestly, I think most peds would have said the same with those stats based on charts. Is it accurate or correct? Not really. But 150 at 5’2” is going to invite that. If you can get a trusted recommendation for a doctor who is particularly astute with girls going through puberty definitely switch.

Yes, it is. The DD is overweight, not big-boned or muscular.

Big-boned is such a farce! Open your eyes people! Stop saying your kid has baby fat until they're in puberty and then using the big boned excuse.

Muscular is a thing. If OP's daughter really does cross fit, it may apply to her. If you really want to know, get a dexa scan

+1
Body structure and muscle mass do matter. That she is 13 matters.
Don't use a scale meant for adult women on her. Ask to see the chart the doctor has pulled these numbers from and if the data is for adult women, ask the doctor for a chart for growing teens. They won't be able to provide one as there is no such thing.

If you are worried, you can do an actual body fat measurement and run her blood work.

There is one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pediatrician would be derelict in their duty if they did not run a BMI calculation and inform you that your child is overweight. It is standard practice. Being overweght comes with increased risk for a lot of chronic conditions such as Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. It is better to flag these things early rather than later in life.

Well it is obvious you are not in the medical field. 5 feet 5 inches and 150lbs on a teen still growing is not at risk for type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure. The girl also plays sports and works out year round.

Yes she is, person who is in the medical field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd gained the freshman 15 in the first 10 weeks of college and her doctor brought it up, and I was thankful. The trajectory was alarming.

There’s a huge difference between an 18 and 13yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your size? What do you all eat at home?

My 13 year old son is not overweight but I did recently tell him for health reasons I thought he could eat a bit less red meat and choose some alternatives from time to time. I generally talk about balanced diet and protein and fruits and veggies.

It's hard to tell for sure what is going on based on an online post - though I think you may be in denial about the weight - and maybe the pediatrician shouldn't have said it in front of her, but maybe you need to know and another pediatrician would let you continue in denial.

why did you tell him to stop eating red meat?

I didn't say stop - I said diversify.

https://www.eatingwell.com/article/7994363/what-happens-to-your-body-when-you-eat-red-meat-every-day/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think doctors will start to do this more. But I agree, it’s not helpful and leaves awful feelings and at such a sensitive age. The time time for doctors to do this is when kids are younger, and talk to the parents privately. Not the children!

Well in this case, talking to the parent is useless bc OP is a defensive denier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

Man, I feel for doctors these days on some level. The lady is just doing her job OP. She is in fact overweight on the BMI chart.

First, muscle does not weight more than fat. Muscle is more dense so a pound of muscle is going to look different than a pound of fat for sure.

I think your role is to ask how your daughter feels. How did your daughter process what the doctor said? Talk together about how being an athlete can change body composition. All you did is just message to her daughter that the conversation upset YOU and you are not a safe space for her to talk about it anymore. Don't listen to the doctor. Don't worry. Done.

Good pediatricians never (and I mean NEVER) use the adult BMI scale to dictate if a growing teen is considered overweight. Lazy ones do.

Good pedestrians never (and I mean NEVER) tell a growing teen they are overweight or obese. That is life altering and can immediately cause ED's and other mental disorders