Child in the hospital: need ideas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

Yeah, thanks but ... we know how hospital rooms work. Everyone can just suck it up and deal. It's not ideal for ANYONE. He can go into the bathroom, close the door, and not open it until he's showered and fully dressed. Same with the other mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

I think we are all skeptical that your DH’s concern is truly due to a fear of making the other mother uncomfortable versus his own selfish desire to spend each night comfortably in his own bed. Given that he’s clearly not at all concerned about his own wife being at ease, but rather expects you to just go without sleep for weeks on end, it’s a little hard to believe that he’s truly that concerned about discomforting a complete stranger. There is no expectation of privacy in a shared hospital room.

And no one other than the actual patients should be showering in the hospital room so not even clear why that’s being mentioned as an issue. Go home to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

I think we are all skeptical that your DH’s concern is truly due to a fear of making the other mother uncomfortable versus his own selfish desire to spend each night comfortably in his own bed. Given that he’s clearly not at all concerned about his own wife being at ease, but rather expects you to just go without sleep for weeks on end, it’s a little hard to believe that he’s truly that concerned about discomforting a complete stranger. There is no expectation of privacy in a shared hospital room.

So our indoor swimming pool has family showers right in the pool area (obvious their own contained fully locked room/door like with a hospital bathroom). It never EVER crossed my mind to think its weird that a man is showering in there. Why in the world would that be weird? This is the same set up. He can easily shower elsewhere if he's uncomfortable but there isn't anything weird about a male showering in a fully separate room that happens to be close to a female. Again, you guys seem like the weirdos here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

I think we are all skeptical that your DH’s concern is truly due to a fear of making the other mother uncomfortable versus his own selfish desire to spend each night comfortably in his own bed. Given that he’s clearly not at all concerned about his own wife being at ease, but rather expects you to just go without sleep for weeks on end, it’s a little hard to believe that he’s truly that concerned about discomforting a complete stranger. There is no expectation of privacy in a shared hospital room.

And no one other than the actual patients should be showering in the hospital room so not even clear why that’s being mentioned as an issue. Go home to do so.

Some people do a quick rinse-off to refresh to go right to work. There isn't necessarily the time to drive home and then to work if you're trying to make sure a parent is there for rounds etc. If he's doing this several nights a week that might be the only way to make it work....but again there is nothing weird about it assuming its a normal fully self contained bathroom versus like just a curtained stall in the corner that is exposed to the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

I think we are all skeptical that your DH’s concern is truly due to a fear of making the other mother uncomfortable versus his own selfish desire to spend each night comfortably in his own bed. Given that he’s clearly not at all concerned about his own wife being at ease, but rather expects you to just go without sleep for weeks on end, it’s a little hard to believe that he’s truly that concerned about discomforting a complete stranger. There is no expectation of privacy in a shared hospital room.

So our indoor swimming pool has family showers right in the pool area (obvious their own contained fully locked room/door like with a hospital bathroom). It never EVER crossed my mind to think its weird that a man is showering in there. Why in the world would that be weird? This is the same set up. He can easily shower elsewhere if he's uncomfortable but there isn't anything weird about a male showering in a fully separate room that happens to be close to a female. Again, you guys seem like the weirdos here

This isn’t a public locker room. To me it’s weird that anyone who is not the actual hospital patient would choose to use the hospital room shower (especially in a shared room, regardless of gender) rather than just running home for a bit to shower and change….although I guess if you have a crappy spouse who won’t trade off with you you when your toddler is hospitalized your might not have a choice.

[Anonymous]

WTF. Is your DH Mike Pence? Tell him to take his turn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

I think we are all skeptical that your DH’s concern is truly due to a fear of making the other mother uncomfortable versus his own selfish desire to spend each night comfortably in his own bed. Given that he’s clearly not at all concerned about his own wife being at ease, but rather expects you to just go without sleep for weeks on end, it’s a little hard to believe that he’s truly that concerned about discomforting a complete stranger. There is no expectation of privacy in a shared hospital room.

So our indoor swimming pool has family showers right in the pool area (obvious their own contained fully locked room/door like with a hospital bathroom). It never EVER crossed my mind to think its weird that a man is showering in there. Why in the world would that be weird? This is the same set up. He can easily shower elsewhere if he's uncomfortable but there isn't anything weird about a male showering in a fully separate room that happens to be close to a female. Again, you guys seem like the weirdos here

This isn’t a public locker room. To me it’s weird that anyone who is not the actual hospital patient would choose to use the hospital room shower (especially in a shared room, regardless of gender) rather than just running home for a bit to shower and change….although I guess if you have a crappy spouse who won’t trade off with you you when your toddler is hospitalized your might not have a choice.

Sometimes home is easily 45min away and then work is another drive. If you’re trying to make sure you’re there for a morning rounds and the other parent has school drop offs or work etc - it’s not as simple as a “10 min swing by home”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

I think we are all skeptical that your DH’s concern is truly due to a fear of making the other mother uncomfortable versus his own selfish desire to spend each night comfortably in his own bed. Given that he’s clearly not at all concerned about his own wife being at ease, but rather expects you to just go without sleep for weeks on end, it’s a little hard to believe that he’s truly that concerned about discomforting a complete stranger. There is no expectation of privacy in a shared hospital room.

So our indoor swimming pool has family showers right in the pool area (obvious their own contained fully locked room/door like with a hospital bathroom). It never EVER crossed my mind to think its weird that a man is showering in there. Why in the world would that be weird? This is the same set up. He can easily shower elsewhere if he's uncomfortable but there isn't anything weird about a male showering in a fully separate room that happens to be close to a female. Again, you guys seem like the weirdos here

This isn’t a public locker room. To me it’s weird that anyone who is not the actual hospital patient would choose to use the hospital room shower (especially in a shared room, regardless of gender) rather than just running home for a bit to shower and change….although I guess if you have a crappy spouse who won’t trade off with you you when your toddler is hospitalized your might not have a choice.

Sometimes home is easily 45min away and then work is another drive. If you’re trying to make sure you’re there for a morning rounds and the other parent has school drop offs or work etc - it’s not as simple as a “10 min swing by home”

He can shower before he goes over to relieve wife. Sleep. Go to work. Go home. Shower again.

[Anonymous]

I think the only thing that would make the other mom uncomfortable is stinking up the bathroom. My relative is a doctor and patients in the shared rooms have arguments about it and even the nurses are annoyed by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

I think we are all skeptical that your DH’s concern is truly due to a fear of making the other mother uncomfortable versus his own selfish desire to spend each night comfortably in his own bed. Given that he’s clearly not at all concerned about his own wife being at ease, but rather expects you to just go without sleep for weeks on end, it’s a little hard to believe that he’s truly that concerned about discomforting a complete stranger. There is no expectation of privacy in a shared hospital room.

So our indoor swimming pool has family showers right in the pool area (obvious their own contained fully locked room/door like with a hospital bathroom). It never EVER crossed my mind to think its weird that a man is showering in there. Why in the world would that be weird? This is the same set up. He can easily shower elsewhere if he's uncomfortable but there isn't anything weird about a male showering in a fully separate room that happens to be close to a female. Again, you guys seem like the weirdos here

This isn’t a public locker room. To me it’s weird that anyone who is not the actual hospital patient would choose to use the hospital room shower (especially in a shared room, regardless of gender) rather than just running home for a bit to shower and change….although I guess if you have a crappy spouse who won’t trade off with you you when your toddler is hospitalized your might not have a choice.

Sometimes home is easily 45min away and then work is another drive. If you’re trying to make sure you’re there for a morning rounds and the other parent has school drop offs or work etc - it’s not as simple as a “10 min swing by home”

He can shower before he goes over to relieve wife. Sleep. Go to work. Go home. Shower again.

It’s fascinating you can’t fathom work or childcare schedules that have less flexibility than yours. And when your child is in an inpatient setting it’s important you’re there at specific times for when the doctors round

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

I think we are all skeptical that your DH’s concern is truly due to a fear of making the other mother uncomfortable versus his own selfish desire to spend each night comfortably in his own bed. Given that he’s clearly not at all concerned about his own wife being at ease, but rather expects you to just go without sleep for weeks on end, it’s a little hard to believe that he’s truly that concerned about discomforting a complete stranger. There is no expectation of privacy in a shared hospital room.

So our indoor swimming pool has family showers right in the pool area (obvious their own contained fully locked room/door like with a hospital bathroom). It never EVER crossed my mind to think its weird that a man is showering in there. Why in the world would that be weird? This is the same set up. He can easily shower elsewhere if he's uncomfortable but there isn't anything weird about a male showering in a fully separate room that happens to be close to a female. Again, you guys seem like the weirdos here

This isn’t a public locker room. To me it’s weird that anyone who is not the actual hospital patient would choose to use the hospital room shower (especially in a shared room, regardless of gender) rather than just running home for a bit to shower and change….although I guess if you have a crappy spouse who won’t trade off with you you when your toddler is hospitalized your might not have a choice.

Sometimes home is easily 45min away and then work is another drive. If you’re trying to make sure you’re there for a morning rounds and the other parent has school drop offs or work etc - it’s not as simple as a “10 min swing by home”

He can shower before he goes over to relieve wife. Sleep. Go to work. Go home. Shower again.

It’s fascinating you can’t fathom work or childcare schedules that have less flexibility than yours. And when your child is in an inpatient setting it’s important you’re there at specific times for when the doctors round

If the family has been adjusting schedules sufficiently to protect dh from the indignity of having to ever stay overnight with his hospitalized child I’d think working in an hour for him to go home to shower every couple of days once he actually starts stepping up to do his share should be pretty easy.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't think twice if a Dad, who was appropriate was sleeping in the room with me. Dad should take 2-3 nights a week. You have a husband issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't think twice if a Dad, who was appropriate was sleeping in the room with me. Dad should take 2-3 nights a week. You have a husband issue.

I think you mean 3-4 nights a week, right? Why the expectation that dad should take less nights than mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask my mom or a friend to stay.

I’m a friend whose H was recently paralyzed and I go to the hospital weekly to give her a break. I would be mad if you didn’t ask me for help.

This is a completely different situation. I’d be mad if my friend asked me to sleep at a hospital weekly with her child to give her a break while giving her husband/the child’s father pass for a bs reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask my mom or a friend to stay.

I’m a friend whose H was recently paralyzed and I go to the hospital weekly to give her a break. I would be mad if you didn’t ask me for help.

This is a completely different situation. I’d be mad if my friend asked me to sleep at a hospital weekly with her child to give her a break while giving her husband/the child’s father pass for a bs reason.

Yea you wouldn’t be my friend so…

He’s working, caring for kids, keeping their lives normal with sports.

It’s 6 weeks, phone a friend.

I’d also have a friend help at home too.