Child in the hospital: need ideas

[Anonymous]

Been in this situation, and we traded off. It’s important for all of you, including the kid in the hospital and the ones at home.

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Your husband can suck it up for 3 nights a week. Your child needs at home you doing the occasional bedtime as much as your hospital-based child needs him.

This would also be something to ask of your mom or really good friend. For one of my closest friends, I would do this once a week in a heartbeat because I know how restorative a good night’s sleep can be. As long as that friend has a good relationship with your child, she can position it like a fun sleepover. A special movie, popsicles or other doc-approved treat, maybe some bendable glow sticks…

[Anonymous]

I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

The hate is because it is so obviously just a poor excuse. And if he really feels that way, then it's weird. Either way, not a good look for your husband. One night week and he's worried about seeing the woman in the shower? It just makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

If you all trade off nights he doesn’t need to shower at the hospital and surely there is a restroom down the hall. He’s being ridiculous. You both need some sleep in your own bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

If you all trade off nights he doesn’t need to shower at the hospital and surely there is a restroom down the hall. He’s being ridiculous. You both need some sleep in your own bed.

yeah, I don't understand this at all. If you are trading off, then neither of you should need to shower at the hospital. When he needs to go to the bathroom/brush his teeth, he closes the door. I'm fairly certain the other kid's parent is focused on her kid, not the parent of the other kid.

[Anonymous]

Ummmm because he shouldn't need to shower there. WTF? He showers at home, you switch, then he comes home and showers again. Obviously.

[Anonymous]

Have your mom do a night shift if she can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been in this situation, and we traded off. It’s important for all of you, including the kid in the hospital and the ones at home.

Good luck, OP.

+1

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Tell DH he needs to get over it. I would be awkward too in the reverse scenario but this is not sustainable.

2. Ask your mom or a friend to do overnight. I would gladly.

3. Combine 1 and 2! You need sleep!

This. Get a rotation of people going.

This falls under "putting on your own gas mask to save others". If you have a break down because of lack of sleep, that is not helpful to anyone. I would 100% help a friend with this, especially since it's a short term problem. A few nights of crappy sleep is something I can absorb easily because I normally get a full night's rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

No we understood why he said he was uncomfortable and didn't think it was the care of his son.

I don't think he should shower there. He's just there for the night. And I'd encourage him to take #2 down the hall in the visitor's restroom too.

[Anonymous]

I agree with some of the pps that I would want to be asked if I was a relative or close friend. I would hate sharing a room but I don't think it would be worse to share with a dad-and I am a person who avoids being in close quarters with men I don't know. Unless he is creepy, both parents are there to do a job and will be fully clothed, I wouldn't consider it a problem.

[Anonymous]

The other family is going to be fine. Just mention your husband is staying. Assuming your husband is going to sleep fully clothed in the chair, nothing to even blink about. Everyone’s worrying about their own child and just trying to get some rest at the hospital. My DH and I switched off even when we had to share a room with another family. You just don’t shower there. DH can shower before he comes in the evening or after he leaves in the morning. Usage of bathroom otherwise is normal and not uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP.

Wow, lots of hate for DH. I think I may have not characterized his concern well. There is a single bathroom/ shower in the room that would be shared with the other mom and her kid (mine is in a diaper due to movement restrictions). He was concerned she wouldn’t be at ease if he were there showering/ sleeping. It’s like sharing a small hotel room right now with the very thin curtain. Unfortunately there aren’t private rooms as the pediatric side isn’t that large. He wasn’t uncomfortable due to the bed or extra care for our son.

DH is doing everything at home. Daycare and elementary school drop offs/pick ups, cooking, sports, and work. So he isn’t just hanging at home alone. He is also spending weekends here with our son.

However, I understand the sentiment that he needs to suck it up. Just want to be cognizant of the other family’s feelings.

No we understood why he said he was uncomfortable and didn't think it was the care of his son.

I don't think he should shower there. He's just there for the night. And I'd encourage him to take #2 down the hall in the visitor's restroom too.

+1 OP I am sorry for your stressful situation but your DH is being absurd. If I were the other mom whose child is also going thru a very difficult thing (clearly if her DD is in the hospital for a long stay as well) the last thing I could imagine caring about was some other DH who is there to focus on his own kid.

What if it was a single dad, or the mother was having a situation that prevented her from being the primary caregiver?

The gender aspect here is a real non-issue and seems like an excuse to everyone reading it.

[Anonymous]

Ask close friends and family to do some nights. I would 100 percent do this for a friend.

And your DH should do it. It honestly would not have crossed my mind that your DH shouldn't. How do you know the other lady isn't going to have a dad show up some night soon? There not in a tiny hotel room at all. They are in a hospital caring for children with people in and out of the room constantly. It's fine.