Boyfriend didn't get me a v day gift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that he did not get you something is not in itself an issue. DH and I have never done valentines presents. I don't think we ever discussed no-presents when we started dating 25 years ago. We were both just those kinds of people. He's a practically perfect man, even today. Lack of presents is, in my situation, a total non issue. I agree with the other poster that "gift language of love" is garbage. Like, how can someone be biologically wired to need someone to buy them BodyWorks scented hand lotion?

That said, if you expressly agreed to presents before valentines day, then yes it seems like this is a problem.

But I'm not convinced you agreed to presents. What was the conversation? You said that valentines day was important to you and that you expected him to "do something for it" and then he took you to dinner? You said valentines was important to you so you planned to get him a gift? There are lots of conversations that could have been had where he didn't expressly say he was getting you a gift, but that's what you wanted to hear. But if you both said "yes, we agree we will exchange gifts" and he showed up empty handed, then yes, that's disappointing.

I'd also want to hear what he said after you got him a gift and he was empty handed.

+1. I don't think gift (or lack thereof) is the issue here. Context of how it happened, why it happened, what was said exactly does matter.

[Anonymous]

A list for V-Day? Why not let the other person surprise you?

[Anonymous]

Did you guys celebrate in other ways? Go out to dinner? Send each other sweet/flirty texts? Exchange cards?

If it was literally nothing and he didn't say, "Oh I'm so sorry, your gift is late but you'll get it tomorrow" or whatever, then this is very, very odd. I feel like there has to be more to this story.

[Anonymous]

Valentines Day seems likemore of a Hallmark holiday and not especially meaningful. So the idea of exchanging gifts is odd to me.

[Anonymous]

OP. Is Valentines Day a stupid reason to break up? Yes.

[Anonymous]

ok so now what happened when you asked him what happened re gift? if you haven't brought it up with him yet, make that your first priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend of 7 months didn't get me a Valentine's gift. I gave him a nice sweater and he gave me nada. We spoke about this ahead of time. I told him celebrating was important to me, we agreed to exchange gifts and nothing. We are happy outside of this. Long term this would bother me. Is this a stupid reason to break up?

That was the gift. Gift of minimalism. He on the other hand has to now deal with the sweater.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to slap him.

[Anonymous]

I don't think 7 months is too early to discuss Valentines Day expectations or lack thereof. Just here on this thread you see it - some people love it, some people don't care. Sounds like the boyfriend was trying to figure out what camp OP was in, got his answer, and then crapped all over it.

The whole point of *having* that discussion was to avoid the awkwardness of Valentines Day rolling around for the first time and having.... exactly what happened happen.

I would dump him, and it would have nothing to do with not receiving a gift. It would have everything to do with setting me up to be humiliated in that moment.

[Anonymous]

So what do you think is the reason? He forgot, but tried to pretend the conversation never happened? He can't get it together to purchase a gift from a list? He wanted to mess with your head?

It's not so much that he didn't get a gift. It's that he didn't handle the situation respectfully or adequately. That would be the reason to dump him. He fails at basic communication.

[Anonymous]

I knew this thread would get flooded with the DCUM Cool Girls who don't care about hallmark holidays, but if this couple discussed it, agreed to exchange gifts, and he blew it off, how is that not a jerk move? Regardless of your personal feelings about Vday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what do you think is the reason? He forgot, but tried to pretend the conversation never happened? He can't get it together to purchase a gift from a list? He wanted to mess with your head?

It's not so much that he didn't get a gift. It's that he didn't handle the situation respectfully or adequately. That would be the reason to dump him. He fails at basic communication.

I think it’s because he may be being cheap/stingy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the person that imitated the gift conversation. He said we could exchange gifts if it was important to me. I said it was. He then asked for some gift ideas and gave me his. The sweater was something he listed so I bought it. When I gave it to him he said thanks, but gave me nothing.

Kinda sounds like he solicited a gift then didn't reciprocate.

I dunno 7 months you should still be in the infatuation wooing period snd he does nothing? Yeah, stuff won't get better here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 7 months is too early to discuss Valentines Day expectations or lack thereof. Just here on this thread you see it - some people love it, some people don't care. Sounds like the boyfriend was trying to figure out what camp OP was in, got his answer, and then crapped all over it.

The whole point of *having* that discussion was to avoid the awkwardness of Valentines Day rolling around for the first time and having.... exactly what happened happen.

I would dump him, and it would have nothing to do with not receiving a gift. It would have everything to do with setting me up to be humiliated in that moment.

OMG, this has to be one of the most high maintenance, drama queen comments I've ever read on here. Which is saying something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think 7 months is too early to discuss Valentines Day expectations or lack thereof. Just here on this thread you see it - some people love it, some people don't care. Sounds like the boyfriend was trying to figure out what camp OP was in, got his answer, and then crapped all over it.

The whole point of *having* that discussion was to avoid the awkwardness of Valentines Day rolling around for the first time and having.... exactly what happened happen.

I would dump him, and it would have nothing to do with not receiving a gift. It would have everything to do with setting me up to be humiliated in that moment.

OMG, this has to be one of the most high maintenance, drama queen comments I've ever read on here. Which is saying something.

Perhaps. But he set her up to be in this exact situation. Maybe you wouldn't be humiliated. I would be. But I also do VD so I can't totally relate.