Anyone else’s t(w)een isn’t into sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Thanks for your honest replies. I DO NOT feel bad about her not being in sports, if anything I feel FREE! But I see these parents of tight-knit friend groups and I worry DD is missing out somehow. But she’s a content girl with many friends, so I don’t know why I worry. It’s always hard when people say, “Oh, she’s not in a sport???” with a look of shock on their faces. I never know how to respond.

I think the sporty types, more than other activities, just can't conceive of how someone might be into different things. I don't see music or theater parents doing that but it seems so common for those into sports to think they are just superior activities. They aren't.

I totally disagree with this cliche. A lot of athletes also do things like music and community service. I’ve run in to some very haughty music parents who look down on sports but I would never make a judgment overall about “music types” based off those specific parents.

NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

How so? From what I've seen HS sports in the DMV make kids lives very difficult. Several hour-long 4 night a week practices, plus weekend games and tournaments. It's OK I guess, if you aren't taking a challenging course load, but add it to a kid who is looking to maybe study engineering in college? Trying to fit in the sports commitments and maintain your grades is very tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

I get this.

[Anonymous]

Neither of my kids is particularly sporty, and that's okay. They've found other activities, including art and music and they still play in rec leagues mainly to see friends. However, as our oldest is now in middle school, we are noticing how being athletic can be a form of social capital and notice our DS getting left out/behind as a result. It will certainly pass once he gets to HS, but it's difficult now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD12 has dabbled in basketball, ballet, gymnastics, golf, soccer, and volleyball, and despite our encouragement she just isn’t a sporty girl.

Do they eventually find their “thing”? I’ve accepted that it probably won’t be a sport for DD, and that’s fine. But do some kids just never find a niche?

My son despises sports and we made him try soccer for much longer than he wanted to do it. He sucked and his teammates were really hard on him; we made him finish the season when he was in fifth grade and then allowed him to quit for good. He's in high school now and enjoying jazz band, pep band, orchestra, all-county band, playing for the musicals... He doesn't want to be a music major; he just likes the kids he knows from these classes/activities and he has a gift for music but no passion for it.

[Anonymous]

My son was never into a sport but now loves rock climbing and is on a team. It is good exercise, an encouraging environment and schedule is pretty flexible. It is also totally fine for your kid to not be into any sports but you may want to encourage her to try rock climbing if you live near a gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are SO MANY other things besides sports, and yes, most kids find interests and hobbies that they enjoy and are good at even if they aren't sports. All of the performing and visual arts, design, languages, food and cooking, arts and crafts, nature, writing (journalism, creative writing), volunteering and community involvement, leadership roles at school or in the community, entrepreneurship, etc., etc., etc.

We are so weird in this country about sports.

DCUM parents are insane about sports. They’ve convinced themselves that you can’t learn to work together with others or develop “grit”without organized sports, and they’ve also convinced themselves that the only options are organized sports or being 350 pounds sitting on the sofa stuffing Oreos in your face all day. In total nonsense, of course. Guess they have to tell themselves something to justify the ridiculous “travel” sport fees.

[Anonymous]

My tween DD has never been into sports but instead finds her calling in other places. Have you tried Girl Scouts? Student Government? Clubs? School Musical?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

Yeah, what an absolutely weird thing to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

Yeah, what an absolutely weird thing to say.

How so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

Yeah, what an absolutely weird thing to say.

How so?

It is weird. Basically PP is saying that if you can play the guitar you will get laid a lot in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD12 has dabbled in basketball, ballet, gymnastics, golf, soccer, and volleyball, and despite our encouragement she just isn’t a sporty girl.

Do they eventually find their “thing”? I’ve accepted that it probably won’t be a sport for DD, and that’s fine. But do some kids just never find a niche?

My son despises sports and we made him try soccer for much longer than he wanted to do it. He sucked and his teammates were really hard on him; we made him finish the season when he was in fifth grade and then allowed him to quit for good. He's in high school now and enjoying jazz band, pep band, orchestra, all-county band, playing for the musicals... He doesn't want to be a music major; he just likes the kids he knows from these classes/activities and he has a gift for music but no passion for it.

Same. We regret not letting our DC quit soccer sooner. It was terrible for his self-image and though he has had a lot success in life, he still talks about how horrible the sporty boys were in grade school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP.

America is a sports obsessed culture. It's just facts. Tens of millions won't be sitting down on Feb 12 to watch the National Symphony Orchestra on TV. Sports give some social status and they are a common language and are easy to talk about for many people. So I don't think it's that people can't conceive of different things, but I do think sports and talking about and asking about it tends to drown out most other things and people just default to it and yes, it can get tiresome if it's not your thing. Both of my kids have been asked countless times by well meaning adults just trying to make conversation...what sport do you play? No one has ever asked them what instrument they play.

It helps to be able to play both sports and music. Sports help make kids' lives easier in HS and music help make their lives easier in college and in life. I always say to my kids: Play guitar very well and you will have an amazing college experience with the opposite sex, as I did.

So bizarre.

Yeah, what an absolutely weird thing to say.

How so?

It is weird. Basically PP is saying that if you can play the guitar you will get laid a lot in college.

And implying that this is the reason to learn to play guitar. What a terrible message for a kid.