Is it ok to remove people off Evite after RSVP date?

[Anonymous]

I don't get the angst over this. Its literally a checkbox in Evite where you can say that invitees cannot bring/add a guest or additional person when they RSVP.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I did this (deleted invitees after rsvp date) because I was a) peeved at the non-responders and b) had so many people coming already, but I regretted it. Following the deletions there were a couple misunderstandings. A kid asked his parents to find the invitation and respond, and they tried to, but link didn't work, so they contacted me. Another parent said she looked for the invitation the night before party and couldn't get to it. I felt badly, and had to admit what I had done, and re-invite them. I mean, if things worked perfectly, people would rsvp on time after reminders and all, but if they missed it/forgot, and their child wants to go, I'd rather the child be included rather than focus on who's right/wrong/rude out of the parents involved.

As a person deleted from an invite with no warning, I found it rude. My child wanted to go, but I was trying to coordinate with another family member to see if it was possible to make it work, then forgot. When my child reminded me, I was not able to access the invitation and it was obvious we’d been deleted. Evite has a reminder feature for good reason—right after sending it is usually when I get a handful of RSVPs. Some people hair can’t handle their kid’s party not being number one on my family’s list of priorities.

No, some people need to plan carefully in terms of numbers (venue needs to know) and are well within their rights to delete those who give no thought to inconveniencing the host by not responding by the rsvp date.

Even if you don't have the issue of venue, like if you're having it at a public park, you have food/supply issues. It gives me anxiety when I have rsvps for 30 guests and at the last minute get several more. I have always invited families (siblings welcome) for non-dropoff parties, so each rsvp might be 5 more people. By the night before, I want to have it settled how many pizzas, how many favors, etc.

OP here. I have extra favors and food. My problem is I am at my exact max capacity so if anymore kids RSVP, I have to inform some families I cannot siblings that classmates RSVPd with. I wonder if these parents who RSVPd have thrown a party before. They can clearly see I invited the entire class on the Evite.

Is it a matter of just having to pay out of pocket for more guests? Usually that's all this is about. You booked a party for 20 kids and now have 25 and there isn't a MAX capacity at which 5 kids definitely can't come in, it's that you have to pay $20 or whatever for every extra kid.

People just need to stop with the all class parties. Because multiple people have mentioned here that "people they didn't even know" did this or that rude thing. Well, stop inviting people you don't even know to your parties. Just invite your kids friends and neighbors that you already know and can easily get in touch with if you have questions or need to follow up. Don't invite strangers and then complain you have no idea who they are.

I already said this would be my last all class party. I’m just used to all class parties from preschool. I don’t know if it was because of Covid or our preschool had more polite parents but no one brought siblings unless I personally invited the siblings of families we were friends with.

My party was for 20 kids and can add up to 25. I’m at 25, the max headcount.

I did not over invite. I picked a venue that could accommodate my child’s class. I just gave parents who RSVPd with an extra 1-2 kids. Everyone has siblings. If the whole class came with all their siblings, I would have 60 kids. I don’t understand these parents. Have they never hosted a party? They would know space is limited and Evite clearly shows I invited the whole class.

They are taking advantage. Just send a message that you can't accommodate siblings this time due to space constraints. People are just looking for free entertainment for their entire family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the angst over this. Its literally a checkbox in Evite where you can say that invitees cannot bring/add a guest or additional person when they RSVP.

People bring extra kids anyway, most don't really pay attention to what they are checking when they RSVP. The people who bring the siblings are bringing them no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this (deleted invitees after rsvp date) because I was a) peeved at the non-responders and b) had so many people coming already, but I regretted it. Following the deletions there were a couple misunderstandings. A kid asked his parents to find the invitation and respond, and they tried to, but link didn't work, so they contacted me. Another parent said she looked for the invitation the night before party and couldn't get to it. I felt badly, and had to admit what I had done, and re-invite them. I mean, if things worked perfectly, people would rsvp on time after reminders and all, but if they missed it/forgot, and their child wants to go, I'd rather the child be included rather than focus on who's right/wrong/rude out of the parents involved.

As a person deleted from an invite with no warning, I found it rude. My child wanted to go, but I was trying to coordinate with another family member to see if it was possible to make it work, then forgot. When my child reminded me, I was not able to access the invitation and it was obvious we’d been deleted. Evite has a reminder feature for good reason—right after sending it is usually when I get a handful of RSVPs. Some people hair can’t handle their kid’s party not being number one on my family’s list of priorities.

No, some people need to plan carefully in terms of numbers (venue needs to know) and are well within their rights to delete those who give no thought to inconveniencing the host by not responding by the rsvp date.

This is a bad take. Uninviting is rude and a gaffe. Period. Being a host is about showing others a good time - it is not about your convenience. If you cannot handle the typical ins and outs of planning a party without a martyr’s attitude, just don’t do it. (Not directed at OP)

the siblings thing is a dilemma and a lesson learned for next time. I’d send a note like - “Sorry, siblings may be provided an alternate activity due to space restrictions at the venue.” Bring coloring books and have them sit with parents. Some parents would get the hint from that message and remove the siblings altogether.

[Anonymous]

I would cancel the reminder that evite sends automatically and just directly email from my own account those who already rsvped a reminder note with your preferred contact information in case they have questions or a last minute change of plans.

In the future, I adjust the evite reminder dates to be 1 day before I need the RSVP and then the day before the party. I try to be clear on the invitation "RSVP by XX date because we need to give a headcount to the venue" or "RSVP by XX so we can have enough cupcakes." For some reason, including the explanation gets me better success than just saying RSVP.

[Anonymous]

You can’t cancel evite’s automatic reminder, at least with the free version. I delete people from the invite if they haven’t responded by the deadline. I’ve done it now for probably 7 parties for my 3 kids. I’ve never had anyone unexpected show up. Once a mom texted she forgot to rvsp and asked if her child could still come. I said of course and added them back to the list which auto sent an invite. Felt slightly awkward but not bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the angst over this. Its literally a checkbox in Evite where you can say that invitees cannot bring/add a guest or additional person when they RSVP.

People bring extra kids anyway, most don't really pay attention to what they are checking when they RSVP. The people who bring the siblings are bringing them no matter what.

It only happened to me one time in 15 years and I had no trouble telling the parent on the spot we could not accomodate the sibling. If people are enabling this, that is their choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m having a party this weekend and a few people never opened the Evite. It is an all class party and several people RSVPd with siblings so I am already full. Instead of telling people I can’t accommodate siblings, I just left it and wanted to wait until the end.

Is it ok to remove them before Evite sends a reminder right before the party?

These are kids my child has never mentioned. I have never met the parents and we have no relationship.

Yes. You have a date to RSVP and they did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t cancel evite’s automatic reminder, at least with the free version. I delete people from the invite if they haven’t responded by the deadline. I’ve done it now for probably 7 parties for my 3 kids. I’ve never had anyone unexpected show up. Once a mom texted she forgot to rvsp and asked if her child could still come. I said of course and added them back to the list which auto sent an invite. Felt slightly awkward but not bad.

This is pretty bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t cancel evite’s automatic reminder, at least with the free version. I delete people from the invite if they haven’t responded by the deadline. I’ve done it now for probably 7 parties for my 3 kids. I’ve never had anyone unexpected show up. Once a mom texted she forgot to rvsp and asked if her child could still come. I said of course and added them back to the list which auto sent an invite. Felt slightly awkward but not bad.

This is pretty bad.

IDK, I always believed it was very rude to not rsvp. Now I am hearing it's rude to exclude people who did not rsvp, which is weird to me!

I believe in days of paper invitations, people who didn't rsvp by the date requested had the good sense to know they weren't attending the party., whether they just "forgot" or not. It would be rude to burden the host with last-minute appeals after the rsvp date.

Kid's bday party is low stakes compared to a wedding, but there is still a lot of planning involved, and if you don't respond to the invitation in time, you are rude.

[Anonymous]

Reach out to these three parents via email and ask them to let you know by the end of the day if they plan to come. If any do, then just let the parents who invited their extra kids that you can’t accommodate siblings

[Anonymous]

The only ones who didn’t rsvp to my kids party were non English speakers. Could it that be the reason? You could send a paper invite to those kids in class. The people that didn’t rsvp never showed up anyway. If they haven’t even opened it yet, they don’t know the time/location anyway. I wouldn’t uninvite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only ones who didn’t rsvp to my kids party were non English speakers. Could it that be the reason? You could send a paper invite to those kids in class. The people that didn’t rsvp never showed up anyway. If they haven’t even opened it yet, they don’t know the time/location anyway. I wouldn’t uninvite.

Evite sends a reminder automatically.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I did not read the whole thread, but can’t you just send the reminder only to guests who have RSVP’ed? Pretty sure evite lets you do that