Having an overweight teenage daughter is so hard

[Anonymous]

OP: Consider having your daughter apply for an amount of life insurance that requires a physical. Once she is denied/rejected for coverage or only offered coverage at an extremely premium (rating), she may understand the need to seek medical help.

OP: You are 100% right to be concerned. This is both a mental health issue and an issue of physical health. Having a heart attack at a young age is unnecessary & preventable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Consider having your daughter apply for an amount of life insurance that requires a physical. Once she is denied/rejected for coverage or only offered coverage at an extremely premium (rating), she may understand the need to seek medical help.

OP: You are 100% right to be concerned. This is both a mental health issue and an issue of physical health. Having a heart attack at a young age is unnecessary & preventable.

what the actual f*** is wrong with you

[Anonymous]

This might be a mental health or trauma reaction. I would definitely bring her to therapy. Something might have happened to make her want to leave soccer, not be athletic, etc. This could be a sexual assault reaction...

This doesn't sound like a physical health issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Would you guys be fine with a kid who is overweight?
You're saying it wouldn't both you at all?

You wouldn't worry about the health implications?

Your OP doesn't have any indication that what you care about is your daughter's health or happiness. It's about how it makes you feel, the money you have to spend, and a little bit about how you need to cater to your sons.

Worrying about your child's health, or her happiness, would lead to a very different post.

+1 exactly

I feel so, so bad for OPs daughter.

OP here.
Good Lord.

Of course I care about her health and happiness.

If my first post had mentioned happiness you would all jump on me for saying that heavy women can't be happy.
I would have been CRUCIFIED for this.

If I mentioned health you'd say that weight isn't associated with bad health.

You can't win when you talk about weight.

Thank you to those who have been kind.
You don't know me in real life and if you did you'd know that I support my daughter and love her unconditionally.
I keep buying her new clothing (with NO mention of weight or needing to go up a size) because I want her to feel good
about herself.
I worry about where this is going and how much weight she will gain. There seems to be no current end.
I worry about her health because she is sedentary.
I worry that she is developing habits now that will harm her throughout her young adult life.

OP what size and how tall? We are trying to give you advice and perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is her mood otherwise, OP? Sounds to me like she is depressed.

Why does it bother you? The way she looks? The effect on her health? Your idea that YOUR daughter shouldn’t be fat? Are you embarrassed? (Standard therapist Qs)

Well aren't you holier than thou? You know how this society reacts to fat people? So yes, I would be concerned if this were my kid. I would absolutely be a little embarrassed b/c I would have taught my kids better and they are choosing to be overweight. Doesn't mean I'd say/do anything. Doesn't mean I wouldn't love her.

Did I say she shouldn’t be concerned? Did I judge her or her DD? Where is the holier than thou part?

OP is asking what she should do. If OP wants actual help, these are the questions she needs to ask herself.

And btw, the DD doesn’t necessarily choose to be overweight. There may be a physiological or psychological explanation that she doesn’t choose to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Would you guys be fine with a kid who is overweight?
You're saying it wouldn't both you at all?

You wouldn't worry about the health implications?

Your OP doesn't have any indication that what you care about is your daughter's health or happiness. It's about how it makes you feel, the money you have to spend, and a little bit about how you need to cater to your sons.

Worrying about your child's health, or her happiness, would lead to a very different post.

+1 exactly

I feel so, so bad for OPs daughter.

OP here.
Good Lord.

Of course I care about her health and happiness.

If my first post had mentioned happiness you would all jump on me for saying that heavy women can't be happy.
I would have been CRUCIFIED for this.

If I mentioned health you'd say that weight isn't associated with bad health.

You can't win when you talk about weight.

Thank you to those who have been kind.
You don't know me in real life and if you did you'd know that I support my daughter and love her unconditionally.
I keep buying her new clothing (with NO mention of weight or needing to go up a size) because I want her to feel good
about herself.
I worry about where this is going and how much weight she will gain. There seems to be no current end.
I worry about her health because she is sedentary.
I worry that she is developing habits now that will harm her throughout her young adult life.

Well, given that you don’t seem to be motivated to get her even the basic mental or physical healthcare, it’s hard for me to believe you care much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Consider having your daughter apply for an amount of life insurance that requires a physical. Once she is denied/rejected for coverage or only offered coverage at an extremely premium (rating), she may understand the need to seek medical help.

OP: You are 100% right to be concerned. This is both a mental health issue and an issue of physical health. Having a heart attack at a young age is unnecessary & preventable.

what the actual f*** is wrong with you

Seriously. I read these threads and I am blown away by just how awful these parents are. It is truly horrifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 16 year old is overweight. This isn't vanity pounds but overweight by medical terms.

DON'T WORRY---I HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING TO HER. I am really, really, really careful not to. Hence this post; I can vent in private.

She knows how to eat well.
I buy healthy food but I can't cut out snacks because I also have two teenage boy athletes who need to be able to eat non-stop (4000 calories a day to maintain their skinny 6'3" selves).
She was a travel soccer player but quit that this year because it was too much with her school schedule and she decided against trying to play in college.
She's on the varsity soccer team but that is fall only.
She's taking a demanding course load an has 3-4 hours of homework a night.
I suggest exercise but I can't harp on that either. She really doesn't like to exercise. So she does nothing athletic at present.

So she's overweight and it really bothers me. She keeps gaining weight with no real end in sight---she's gone up probably 4 sizes in pants since last school year and 2 since summer and she wasn't small to begin with
(she's always been athletically built). She's short so weight gain really impacts her physique.

I keep buying her new clothing and spending a fortune on it because she grows out of her current pants. The alternative to not buying new clothing is to have her wear pants that are SKIN TIGHT.

I don't know what to do--there really isn't anything I can do.

Why don’t you say anything to her about it? Tiptoeing around the obvious doesn’t help her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Consider having your daughter apply for an amount of life insurance that requires a physical. Once she is denied/rejected for coverage or only offered coverage at an extremely premium (rating), she may understand the need to seek medical help.

OP: You are 100% right to be concerned. This is both a mental health issue and an issue of physical health. Having a heart attack at a young age is unnecessary & preventable.

what the actual f*** is wrong with you

Right back at you. You do not care about another person's health and well being. Fine. Not your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Consider having your daughter apply for an amount of life insurance that requires a physical. Once she is denied/rejected for coverage or only offered coverage at an extremely premium (rating), she may understand the need to seek medical help.

OP: You are 100% right to be concerned. This is both a mental health issue and an issue of physical health. Having a heart attack at a young age is unnecessary & preventable.

Oh shut up. Just STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Consider having your daughter apply for an amount of life insurance that requires a physical. Once she is denied/rejected for coverage or only offered coverage at an extremely premium (rating), she may understand the need to seek medical help.

OP: You are 100% right to be concerned. This is both a mental health issue and an issue of physical health. Having a heart attack at a young age is unnecessary & preventable.

what the actual f*** is wrong with you

Right back at you. You do not care about another person's health and well being. Fine. Not your problem.

Or maybe it is and that is why you are so unwilling to help and willing to see another suffer needlessly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Consider having your daughter apply for an amount of life insurance that requires a physical. Once she is denied/rejected for coverage or only offered coverage at an extremely premium (rating), she may understand the need to seek medical help.

OP: You are 100% right to be concerned. This is both a mental health issue and an issue of physical health. Having a heart attack at a young age is unnecessary & preventable.

Oh shut up. Just STFU.

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Consider having your daughter apply for an amount of life insurance that requires a physical. Once she is denied/rejected for coverage or only offered coverage at an extremely premium (rating), she may understand the need to seek medical help.

OP: You are 100% right to be concerned. This is both a mental health issue and an issue of physical health. Having a heart attack at a young age is unnecessary & preventable.

what the actual f*** is wrong with you

Right back at you. You do not care about another person's health and well being. Fine. Not your problem.

You think forcing your child to undergo a physical so that an insurance company will deny them and you can use that as ammo to shame them into trying to lose weight is good for their well-being?

[Anonymous]

As someone who was an overweight teen, the only thing you can do is give her healthy food options. She'll have to make the right choices, or not, but you have to limit the junk in your house. You cannot expect her to not eat what you're buying for your sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Consider having your daughter apply for an amount of life insurance that requires a physical. Once she is denied/rejected for coverage or only offered coverage at an extremely premium (rating), she may understand the need to seek medical help.

OP: You are 100% right to be concerned. This is both a mental health issue and an issue of physical health. Having a heart attack at a young age is unnecessary & preventable.

This 100%! Op, I’m with you. I’d be worried, too. Obesity is the cause of so many childhood and adult diseases. We have to get it under control. No amount of “body positive” framing will change the cold hard facts of diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, increased cancer risk, mental illness, infertility, etc that comes with obesity

Have her doctor talk to her about healthy eating and exercise. It won’t help coming from you. Best of luck!