Accused of racial bias at work by someone, and I feel sick over it

[Anonymous]

Lol! You are marketing a book and you wrote a quote from the glorified editor instead of the author, could you imagine if you were the author and somebody quoted your assistant. FFS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many tools out there for you to learn how to manage an interview, conversation, etc.

Maybe you should take some moderator/mediator classes.

Why would you want to only quote a blow hard? That would obviously give you a lower quality product. It was easier, that is why. You phoned it in.

It is your job to get to know the "product" and if you are having a meeting where 1 person is dominating the conversation, it is your job to figure out how to get all the information.

Remove the "racial bias" portion of the accusation.

If they came back to you and said, you produced a low-quality product because you only marketed 1/2 the idea/product/theme, you would get it. But you are all wrapped up in the "im not racist" trope.

Your need to go back and "prove you are right" because you didn't say "I don't want to hear you" shows you are not in the space where you actually want to learn and grow from this experience.

You can just get your validation from the undereducated DCUM group who will pat you on the back and tell you to not learn and grow or you can take the bits and pieces of the story that are true and become a better person.

Ask yourself, did I come to DCUM to learn and grow? or did I come to DCUM to validate my side of the story?

If it's the later, then get your validation, drink your wine tonight and move on.
If you really care about self-growth and have a growth mindset, ignore all the people trying to assuage your feelings and learn and grow.

The louder person was more quotable. They told the better story. The job is to get a story, not to mediate an ego fight.

[Anonymous]

What do you have to lose from contacting the lead author? A follow up to make sure she knows you were given wrong info re co-author status and that she misheard could lead to a revealing conversation. On one level this is textbook unconscious bias as you favored the dominant voice rather than engage the reticent one. As you were hired to market a product (their work) you missed the value of the other voice. Its not new news that men dominate conversations or take undue credit.

Set up a conversation with the main author. There's no value in leaving someone feeling devalued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are many tools out there for you to learn how to manage an interview, conversation, etc.

Maybe you should take some moderator/mediator classes.

Why would you want to only quote a blow hard? That would obviously give you a lower quality product. It was easier, that is why. You phoned it in.

It is your job to get to know the "product" and if you are having a meeting where 1 person is dominating the conversation, it is your job to figure out how to get all the information.

Remove the "racial bias" portion of the accusation.

If they came back to you and said, you produced a low-quality product because you only marketed 1/2 the idea/product/theme, you would get it. But you are all wrapped up in the "im not racist" trope.

Your need to go back and "prove you are right" because you didn't say "I don't want to hear you" shows you are not in the space where you actually want to learn and grow from this experience.

You can just get your validation from the undereducated DCUM group who will pat you on the back and tell you to not learn and grow or you can take the bits and pieces of the story that are true and become a better person.

Ask yourself, did I come to DCUM to learn and grow? or did I come to DCUM to validate my side of the story?

If it's the later, then get your validation, drink your wine tonight and move on.
If you really care about self-growth and have a growth mindset, ignore all the people trying to assuage your feelings and learn and grow.

The change happening here is you changing the facts. There was only one product, the article, and the university isn't complaining about how it was marketed. The only complaint was a false accusation that was disproven by a recording of what was actually said.

And OP actually is asking if there is a better way to handling poorly behaving interviewees over the phone in the future, so you do offer good, and obviously welcomed advice in the first sentence. But you didn't need to assume the worst of OP in doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many tools out there for you to learn how to manage an interview, conversation, etc.

Maybe you should take some moderator/mediator classes.

Why would you want to only quote a blow hard? That would obviously give you a lower quality product. It was easier, that is why. You phoned it in.

It is your job to get to know the "product" and if you are having a meeting where 1 person is dominating the conversation, it is your job to figure out how to get all the information.

Remove the "racial bias" portion of the accusation.

If they came back to you and said, you produced a low-quality product because you only marketed 1/2 the idea/product/theme, you would get it. But you are all wrapped up in the "im not racist" trope.

Your need to go back and "prove you are right" because you didn't say "I don't want to hear you" shows you are not in the space where you actually want to learn and grow from this experience.

You can just get your validation from the undereducated DCUM group who will pat you on the back and tell you to not learn and grow or you can take the bits and pieces of the story that are true and become a better person.

Ask yourself, did I come to DCUM to learn and grow? or did I come to DCUM to validate my side of the story?

If it's the later, then get your validation, drink your wine tonight and move on.
If you really care about self-growth and have a growth mindset, ignore all the people trying to assuage your feelings and learn and grow.

The louder person was more quotable. They told the better story. The job is to get a story, not to mediate an ego fight.

How do you or OP know that, the quieter person was shut down, partly from mishearing from OP but also because OP didn’t try hard enough to hear from her. For all we know, sue had the best quotes and the better story.

[Anonymous]

I'm a very soft spoken woman. Soft spoken people are not easily heard, and I am no exception.

I would never, ever deliberately make trouble for someone because I felt talked over. I'd say the woman making a lot of noise and making professional trouble for you is completely out of line. She knows she's soft spoken. She knows this is something that she deals with on a regular basis. She ought to be embarrassed that she's created problems for you. After listening to the section where you ask her very sweetly to speak up, she ought to be offering you a sincere apology. This is not a racist problem, it's a soft spoken problem, and she knows that full well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a very soft spoken woman. Soft spoken people are not easily heard, and I am no exception.

I would never, ever deliberately make trouble for someone because I felt talked over. I'd say the woman making a lot of noise and making professional trouble for you is completely out of line. She knows she's soft spoken. She knows this is something that she deals with on a regular basis. She ought to be embarrassed that she's created problems for you. After listening to the section where you ask her very sweetly to speak up, she ought to be offering you a sincere apology. This is not a racist problem, it's a soft spoken problem, and she knows that full well.

+1000

[Anonymous]

The OP is in wrong and should feel ashamed.

She knows she is wrong and seems to have some guilt about it. It was probably not 1 isolated incident during the interview that caused the author to perceive discrimination and unfair treatment.

Be more aware of your inherent bias, gender and racial.

Grow and learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many tools out there for you to learn how to manage an interview, conversation, etc.

Maybe you should take some moderator/mediator classes.

Why would you want to only quote a blow hard? That would obviously give you a lower quality product. It was easier, that is why. You phoned it in.

It is your job to get to know the "product" and if you are having a meeting where 1 person is dominating the conversation, it is your job to figure out how to get all the information.

Remove the "racial bias" portion of the accusation.

If they came back to you and said, you produced a low-quality product because you only marketed 1/2 the idea/product/theme, you would get it. But you are all wrapped up in the "im not racist" trope.

Your need to go back and "prove you are right" because you didn't say "I don't want to hear you" shows you are not in the space where you actually want to learn and grow from this experience.

You can just get your validation from the undereducated DCUM group who will pat you on the back and tell you to not learn and grow or you can take the bits and pieces of the story that are true and become a better person.

Ask yourself, did I come to DCUM to learn and grow? or did I come to DCUM to validate my side of the story?

If it's the later, then get your validation, drink your wine tonight and move on.
If you really care about self-growth and have a growth mindset, ignore all the people trying to assuage your feelings and learn and grow.

The louder person was more quotable. They told the better story. The job is to get a story, not to mediate an ego fight.

She actually doesn't know that for a fact because she did not use good interviewing techniques to find out what the author had to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many tools out there for you to learn how to manage an interview, conversation, etc.

Maybe you should take some moderator/mediator classes.

Why would you want to only quote a blow hard? That would obviously give you a lower quality product. It was easier, that is why. You phoned it in.

It is your job to get to know the "product" and if you are having a meeting where 1 person is dominating the conversation, it is your job to figure out how to get all the information.

Remove the "racial bias" portion of the accusation.

If they came back to you and said, you produced a low-quality product because you only marketed 1/2 the idea/product/theme, you would get it. But you are all wrapped up in the "im not racist" trope.

Your need to go back and "prove you are right" because you didn't say "I don't want to hear you" shows you are not in the space where you actually want to learn and grow from this experience.

You can just get your validation from the undereducated DCUM group who will pat you on the back and tell you to not learn and grow or you can take the bits and pieces of the story that are true and become a better person.

Ask yourself, did I come to DCUM to learn and grow? or did I come to DCUM to validate my side of the story?

If it's the later, then get your validation, drink your wine tonight and move on.
If you really care about self-growth and have a growth mindset, ignore all the people trying to assuage your feelings and learn and grow.

The change happening here is you changing the facts. There was only one product, the article, and the university isn't complaining about how it was marketed. The only complaint was a false accusation that was disproven by a recording of what was actually said.

And OP actually is asking if there is a better way to handling poorly behaving interviewees over the phone in the future, so you do offer good, and obviously welcomed advice in the first sentence. But you didn't need to assume the worst of OP in doing so.

Not true. The product quoted the coauther instead of the lead author.

I did not assume the worst. I said either she wants to learn and there are moderator/mediation courses to do so. Or she didn't want to learn and just needed somebody to be her cheerleader ... which is fine, not everybody needs to grow and learn every single day of their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black woman here, but I think this is more of a gender issue. Probably due to unconscious bias (which we all have) you let the loud man dominate the conversation, and he was rewarded for it with more quotes. Even without knowing the woman was the lead, when you thought they were equal, you alllowed him to dominate with his louder voice.

I don’t think you should feel sick - what good does that do? Instead, you should let it be a learning opportunity. Instead of asking them to speak one at a time, next time ask the loud dominators(usually male) to hold on so you can hear from the coworker. Good luck.

+1 from an Asian American woman. I wonder why you didn't do at least a cursory review of the paper. Wouldn't the lead author be identified in some way? Even if they were co-authors, why wouldn't you highlight both equally? You could have followed up with the woman to specifically solicit quotes from her. As someone who worked many years in communications, I would never have highlighted one co-author over another, regardless of their race or gender. And if I were your client, I wouldn't think you are a racist but I would not continue to work with you.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you burst into tears is exactly what is predicted to happen.

Just own your error and unintended bias, and promise to do better. Thank the person fir being honest and coming forward.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should do something about this. Going forward you need to - determine who is the lead author/researcher etc. You need to make sure that historically people who have less of a voice - minorities, women, introverts...all get a very good chance of being heard and appropriately quoted.

You did not do a good enough job. It could be race, it could be culture, it could be SES, gender, disability...you have a job to make everyone's job shine through. You did fail. Hope you are more aware of this and include it in your SOP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are many tools out there for you to learn how to manage an interview, conversation, etc.

Maybe you should take some moderator/mediator classes.

Why would you want to only quote a blow hard? That would obviously give you a lower quality product. It was easier, that is why. You phoned it in.

It is your job to get to know the "product" and if you are having a meeting where 1 person is dominating the conversation, it is your job to figure out how to get all the information.

Remove the "racial bias" portion of the accusation.

If they came back to you and said, you produced a low-quality product because you only marketed 1/2 the idea/product/theme, you would get it. But you are all wrapped up in the "im not racist" trope.

Your need to go back and "prove you are right" because you didn't say "I don't want to hear you" shows you are not in the space where you actually want to learn and grow from this experience.

You can just get your validation from the undereducated DCUM group who will pat you on the back and tell you to not learn and grow or you can take the bits and pieces of the story that are true and become a better person.

Ask yourself, did I come to DCUM to learn and grow? or did I come to DCUM to validate my side of the story?

If it's the later, then get your validation, drink your wine tonight and move on.
If you really care about self-growth and have a growth mindset, ignore all the people trying to assuage your feelings and learn and grow.

The louder person was more quotable. They told the better story. The job is to get a story, not to mediate an ego fight.

OP isn't a reporter writing a news story. Her role was to write a marketing piece and as such, the methodology and process, as well as the output, are necessarily different.

[Anonymous]

Something kind of similar happened to me. It’s brutal when you get accused of bias but you consider yourself an ally. To reframe it a bit - minorities have been dealing with horrible shitfor centuries. You’re feeling a little bit of discomfort now. What you’re experiencing is nothing compared to what they’ve experienced. Though she misheard, it’s a good thing she felt empowered to complain. You were friendly fire. Luckily you have the recording. Give her some grace. I would let it go and not contact her. Hopefully this experience doesn’t shut her down from speaking up in the future. She made a mistake.