Accused of racial bias at work by someone, and I feel sick over it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should’ve shut the co-author down and intentionally solicited comments from the soft-spoken lead author. An apology is warranted and you should feel sick.

I think there’s some value in this comment for guidance in the future. I think men often talk over women and a skillful interviewer would tactfully shut them down, especially in this context. What strikes me here is that both were actively engaged so you needed to gain control. And after you gained control, you ended up with more quotable quotes from the man. Why is that? Did the female stop engaging? Did you make efforts to draw her out? Did he monopolize the interview and if so how did you respond? I really think this is something you should look at before you figure out next steps.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the Asian woman was victimized by the co-author, not you, If he was speaking over her. If that's what happened, you don't need to own that, and it's not your job to fix him.

Still, I'm not a company owner, so take with a grain of salt, but you could reach out to the woman, I'd be very brief, anything you say could be used against you because she's already making allegations, and simply let her know you were informed she thought you stated "X," but that you stated "Y" because you absolutely wanted to hear her and not miss what she was trying to say. And you apologize if she did not hear it correctly and for any misunderstanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore it. The complainant misheard you, you proved it with the recording, end of story. If it'll make you feel better, confirm with your colleague that the information from the recording was shared with the complainant, and that she has been disabused of the false notion that she was told to keep quiet.

This isn't about you, it's about someone who misheard or misinterpreted your clear statement. That's outside your control, and is not a "microaggression" or any other kind of discourteous conduct on your part.

you can't control how others react to you, but you can control your own emotions - this is a trivial incident which should have no consequences for you whatsoever, and is hardly worth agonizing over as you seem to be doing.

100% this.

The only learning experience for you going forward - ask who the primary author is. And, possibly be more cognizant of equaling out the quotes especially when co-authors are not the same gender/race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like the Asian woman was victimized by the co-author, not you, If he was speaking over her. If that's what happened, you don't need to own that, and it's not your job to fix him.

Still, I'm not a company owner, so take with a grain of salt, but you could reach out to the woman, I'd be very brief, anything you say could be used against you because she's already making allegations, and simply let her know you were informed she thought you stated "X," but that you stated "Y" because you absolutely wanted to hear her and not miss what she was trying to say. And you apologize if she did not hear it correctly and for any misunderstanding.

Absolutely do not reach out to the woman. It’s not op’s place to at all. This is for the university to navigate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should’ve shut the co-author down and intentionally solicited comments from the soft-spoken lead author. An apology is warranted and you should feel sick.

I think there’s some value in this comment for guidance in the future. I think men often talk over women and a skillful interviewer would tactfully shut them down, especially in this context. What strikes me here is that both were actively engaged so you needed to gain control. And after you gained control, you ended up with more quotable quotes from the man. Why is that? Did the female stop engaging? Did you make efforts to draw her out? Did he monopolize the interview and if so how did you respond? I really think this is something you should look at before you figure out next steps.

I think the university sort of dumped their problem on OP's lap. OP is merely a 3rd party - 3rd party female no less.

[Anonymous]

I'm a soft-spoken Asian woman, and make a point to try to speak up in such situations, otherwise people can't hear me.

The poor woman must have felt awful if she heard "I don't want to hear you"! But that's not what you said, and thank goodness you have a recording to prove it.

So end of story, OP. You did nothing wrong - I don't know if you did end up quoting at least one phrase from the woman, but I hope you did. Each interviewer needs at least one quote, to make it worth their while coming to the interview. But I'm not an expert.

[Anonymous]

I feel like the woman must have some insecurity issues. Perhaps the co-author has a history of overshadowing her and this incident pushed her over the edge. In any event, you didn't do anything wrong, but this is a good learning experience for moving forward.

[Anonymous]

I honestly think some of the pps would have drastically different answers if this was a soft spoken white woman and they'd be grilling op for joining with the lesser author (but louder male) to steamroll her. She was trying to talk and you stopped her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore it. The complainant misheard you, you proved it with the recording, end of story. If it'll make you feel better, confirm with your colleague that the information from the recording was shared with the complainant, and that she has been disabused of the false notion that she was told to keep quiet.

This isn't about you, it's about someone who misheard or misinterpreted your clear statement. That's outside your control, and is not a "microaggression" or any other kind of discourteous conduct on your part.

you can't control how others react to you, but you can control your own emotions - this is a trivial incident which should have no consequences for you whatsoever, and is hardly worth agonizing over as you seem to be doing.

100% this.

The only learning experience for you going forward - ask who the primary author is. And, possibly be more cognizant of equaling out the quotes especially when co-authors are not the same gender/race.

+1
- WOC

[Anonymous]

You sound like you suck at your job. You have been doing this for years and when this man was talking over the woman who was soft-spoken it didn't occur to you to specifically speak to her or ask her questions directly? How many memes and books and tweets and so on have been made about men sucking all the air out of the room and taking up all the space and people having to be intentional to help women be heard?

[Anonymous]

Omg, whatever. People are stupidly sensitive these days and need thick skin. You cannot walk on eggshells while doing work out of free you're going to offend someone's identity when there are now 2038747292 different cstegories. If the man spoke more and made much more valid and lucid points then so be it. They can cry about racial bias all they want. I'd ignore them and terminate all work going forward with them because it'll obviously be worth more hassle than is necessary.

People need to quit blaming race and identity for everytbgn these days. If you are meek, quiet, and introvert, of course you're not going to be directly quoted, duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely disagree with PP. You should ask to speak to Asian American woman directly. It sounds like she is upset not only with the incorrect statement but how she feels she was treated during the interview. It can be exhausting for soft spoken women of any race that have to compete for space with their louder male colleagues and in this day and age, sophisticated professionals should be able to see that and mitigate it where necessary. That means speaking to the woman as much as speaking to the man regardless of how loud the man is. You need to apologize for that part at least and do better next time.

Cry me a river. Dog eat dog world. The timid do not survive and the world doesn't bend over backwards for the soft spoken. The woman should have grow a spine and should learn how to speak up. It's a quality most leaders learn.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don’t think you need to feel sick over this, but there are some lessons learned. In addition to what others have pointed out, given that the man kept speaking over the woman, you could have followed up one-on-one with the woman and even given her a few questions ahead of time so she could have prepared answers.

[Anonymous]

What you are not saying in your post is that you assumed he was the lead. Your assumption probably reflected through the interview and resulted in less quotes from her, which is not ok. I would assume part of your job is to read their bios and figure out who is the lead author.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore it. The complainant misheard you, you proved it with the recording, end of story. If it'll make you feel better, confirm with your colleague that the information from the recording was shared with the complainant, and that she has been disabused of the false notion that she was told to keep quiet.

This isn't about you, it's about someone who misheard or misinterpreted your clear statement. That's outside your control, and is not a "microaggression" or any other kind of discourteous conduct on your part.

you can't control how others react to you, but you can control your own emotions - this is a trivial incident which should have no consequences for you whatsoever, and is hardly worth agonizing over as you seem to be doing.

I agree. Next time, specifically ask the woman questions, but for now, this is a learn-from situation. I wouldn't reach out to the author directly since she is not your client and you don't know her or the dynamics at play.