How do I write the name in the address of a sympathy card to an aunt whose husband recently died?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

No, just no. Use her actual first name and whatever last name she used. Women are not their husbands’ property!

This, 100%

How to address it? How about HER name?

That would be best unless she's very traditional.

I have never been, and never will be "Mrs. Husband's Name."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.

I hope that you'll learn that we should never be "done" with the preference of the person you're writing. It's not all about YOU.

Except that obviously OP doesn't know her aunt's preference or she would use it. She's asking what's the default in this situation, if you don't know what the person actually prefers.

[Anonymous]

My Grandmother would be over 100 years old now. She went by "Mrs. Anna Jones."

Op, I think you use whatever your aunt has always used. I'm sorry for your family's loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.

I hope that you'll learn that we should never be "done" with the preference of the person you're writing. It's not all about YOU.

Except that obviously OP doesn't know her aunt's preference or she would use it. She's asking what's the default in this situation, if you don't know what the person actually prefers.

Most women over the age of 65 are happy to receive mail addressed as "Mrs. Husband's Name."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.

You may be done with it, but it's still correct.

No, it was “correct” in 1950. You do realize it is closer to 2050 than to 1950, yes? We’re not doing the sexist BS anymore. You can hang on to your pearls, but the world has moved on. If you want to be a dinosaur, that’s fine. But if you send me something addressed to “Mrs. Donald Draper” it is going in the recycling, unopened.

No worries. I can tell we wouldn't be communicating with each other.

I sincerely hope not. I’m not an anti-feminist Trumper, so I probably have little in common with your MAGA Mom Influencer set, or Boomer clique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's the question. Is it Mrs. [his name]? Mrs. [her name]? Just [her name]?

She is widowed not divorced. She is still entitled to use "Mrs. John Smith" or "Mrs. Joan Smith.".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.

I hope that you'll learn that we should never be "done" with the preference of the person you're writing. It's not all about YOU.

Except that obviously OP doesn't know her aunt's preference or she would use it. She's asking what's the default in this situation, if you don't know what the person actually prefers.

Most women over the age of 65 are happy to receive mail addressed as "Mrs. Husband's Name."

I beg to differ. My 68-year-old married aunt would not open it and write "return to sender, no such person" on the envelope. I know a few other women in their 60s and 70s who would do the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.

I hope that you'll learn that we should never be "done" with the preference of the person you're writing. It's not all about YOU.

Except that obviously OP doesn't know her aunt's preference or she would use it. She's asking what's the default in this situation, if you don't know what the person actually prefers.

Most women over the age of 65 are happy to receive mail addressed as "Mrs. Husband's Name."

I beg to differ. My 68-year-old married aunt would not open it and write "return to sender, no such person" on the envelope. I know a few other women in their 60s and 70s who would do the same thing.

I said "most."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.

I hope that you'll learn that we should never be "done" with the preference of the person you're writing. It's not all about YOU.

Except that obviously OP doesn't know her aunt's preference or she would use it. She's asking what's the default in this situation, if you don't know what the person actually prefers.

Most women over the age of 65 are happy to receive mail addressed as "Mrs. Husband's Name."

I beg to differ. My 68-year-old married aunt would not open it and write "return to sender, no such person" on the envelope. I know a few other women in their 60s and 70s who would do the same thing.

I said "most."

I think "most" is being way too generous with your assumption. I can count on one hand the humber of women who would get a sick sense of pleasure out of giving up their identity and being their husband's f*** toy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

Only in specific contexts and circles that quickly dying out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.

I hope that you'll learn that we should never be "done" with the preference of the person you're writing. It's not all about YOU.

Except that obviously OP doesn't know her aunt's preference or she would use it. She's asking what's the default in this situation, if you don't know what the person actually prefers.

Most women over the age of 65 are happy to receive mail addressed as "Mrs. Husband's Name."

I beg to differ. My 68-year-old married aunt would not open it and write "return to sender, no such person" on the envelope. I know a few other women in their 60s and 70s who would do the same thing.

I said "most."

I think "most" is being way too generous with your assumption. I can count on one hand the humber of women who would get a sick sense of pleasure out of giving up their identity and being their husband's f*** toy.

You seem to have a very skewed, negative, and cynical opinion of men and marriage. Hope things get better for you.

[Anonymous]

When I write cards to my widowed relatives, I just send them to Mrs. Firstname Lastname. Basically their legal names, how other people refer to them and how they get other mail. I will say my aunts and cousin are mid-range to younger baby boomers and not excessively formal people, my one aunt still works too. So these aren’t people age 80+ for whom Mrs. Husbandsfirstname Lastname would be super common lately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.

I hope that you'll learn that we should never be "done" with the preference of the person you're writing. It's not all about YOU.

Except that obviously OP doesn't know her aunt's preference or she would use it. She's asking what's the default in this situation, if you don't know what the person actually prefers.

Most women over the age of 65 are happy to receive mail addressed as "Mrs. Husband's Name."

I would say over 85. Boomers wouldn’t be into it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

No, just no. Use her actual first name and whatever last name she used. Women are not their husbands’ property!

I'm not my husband's property, but I'm very happy to be Mrs. HIS FIRST NAME OUR LAST NAME

🤮

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.

I hope that you'll learn that we should never be "done" with the preference of the person you're writing. It's not all about YOU.

Except that obviously OP doesn't know her aunt's preference or she would use it. She's asking what's the default in this situation, if you don't know what the person actually prefers.

Most women over the age of 65 are happy to receive mail addressed as "Mrs. Husband's Name."

You realize that first wave feminists are in their 70s and 80s. That's the generation that broke the traditions of the previous generations. It really, really depends on who the person is.