Too boring to date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re at church. Look for young adult groups. These women are looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.

What if I don’t believe in God?

I don’t believe in God, but I still like church. Just don’t go to a super conservative one.

[Anonymous]

I am a guy and dated plenty of great woman who were boring.

I am similar to you, I didn't have to go out to clubs but also didn't mind. I do like to travel, dining out and exploring. Not hard core about any one thing. Know enough about sports to have conversation, but don't need to watch or go to any games. But am very comfortable hanging out at home.

They are out there. Some of them would have loved to find a guy like you. Maybe go to a bar, find a group of woman work happy hour or birthday cocktails and gravitate to the one hanging back or the one that is not as enthused as the others. There is always one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re at church. Look for young adult groups. These women are looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.

This 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish you were 20 years older. I am so tired of seeing the pics of everyone climbing and hiking and swimming and running and riding motorcycles and sucking on cigars. It all looks exhausting but I guess going to work and going home and cooking and curling up on the sofa don't show well on the apps.

Did you date boring dudes when you were 18-30?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, also in tech. The problem with the apps is 20% of the guys get 80% of the girls. They all want the adventurous, buff, male model type. It's difficult to make your personality or qualities show on there. There's just too much competition.

Focus on real life situations. #metoo has made meeting people at the gym and other places tougher as there's a fine line between flirting and being branded a "creep". Instead, go to activities you like and tend to draw women in a casual environment, like a book club, hiking, kickball, or similar hobbies.

Do you like any crafting? If Michael's offers classes, those will be full of women and probably the type that may work for you. I know when I go there with the family, it's almost all women in there and they seem nice.

Or just go grocery shopping on a Saturday evening. Lots of single women who are homebodies do it then from what I've observed.

Also go read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Yes, it's a PUA book, but that doesn't mean you have to become that. It may give you ideas how to build confidence, if you're lacking in that. It's also a good read just as a story, as he's a good writer in general. But don't get sucked into the PUA world -- lots of guys in tech end up going that route but they over-analyze everything and never really have fun, nor do their dates.

Guy here, non tech and married, and this is terrible advice from top to bottom.

Plenty of ordinary guys get dates from the apps. That is not your problem. More on that.

Going to crafting classes as a single guy? The girls are not there to meet a guy, and you will come off like a creep or a closeted gay guy.

Don't try to pick up women in the grocery store. Again, women are not there to meet you, and unless you are Tom Brady, they are going to think you are a creep. This isn't a rom com.

And don't read those PUA books. They are a waste of time and money. It's a scam just like any of the get-rich-quick books.

Here is one likely issue: a lot of tech people are highly introverted, to the point of being selfish. It's like pulling teeth to have a conversation that is not squarely within their wheelhouse of interests and expertise. If that sounds like your issue, work on small talk, not for the sake of small talk, but because it will train you how to think about other people in social situations, to ask questions, to take interest in things that are not already your interests, to draw others out, to make others feel comfortable. Just go out and meet people (men and women) and work on your social skills.

Another likely issue is that your sights are set too high. If you are swiping and getting no matches, then you have your answer. There are women out there in the same boat. A lot of the frustration with dating apps is people with an inflated sense of their own attractiveness. I mean, if you think you're life is boring, why would an exciting, dynamic person want to join you?

Which brings me to my last point, don't rely on someone else to make your life interesting. Go out and travel, try new things, get ripped, become an endurance athlete, do some art, read through a list of the best American novels, etc. If you come home and surf reddit and make the same old dinners, you are not growing. Cultivate the growth mindset and the women will come to you.

If there isn’t already an award for best DCUM post of the year, there should be, and the above should be the 2022 winner.

-woman married to (a great) introverted guy

[Anonymous]

Whole Foods pick up works —

I was in the check out line on a busy weekday evening and a cute girl who was 23/24 dropped her phone accidentally on the conveyor belt and it rolled to me (I was ahead of her in line)..I picked it up and gave it back to her and said “woah, I just wanted your number not your phone”….

anyways after I was done checking out, I waited for her and all I said was “what’s up, your cute, why don’t we see what dinner we can make together sometime if we combine our Whole Foods hauls” ….I was just wanting to get her number for a future date but she invited me back to her place, and we were having sex within the first 15 minutes of being in her kitchen…funny thing we ended up ordering in because we just kept going round after round and didn’t end up cooking and I ended up leaving my groceries at her place.

We dated for a few months


We ended up ordering in and just banging like rabbits

[Anonymous]

*this was at the Whole Foods in tenleytown

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whole Foods pick up works —

I was in the check out line on a busy weekday evening and a cute girl who was 23/24 dropped her phone accidentally on the conveyor belt and it rolled to me (I was ahead of her in line)..I picked it up and gave it back to her and said “woah, I just wanted your number not your phone”….

anyways after I was done checking out, I waited for her and all I said was “what’s up, your cute, why don’t we see what dinner we can make together sometime if we combine our Whole Foods hauls” ….I was just wanting to get her number for a future date but she invited me back to her place, and we were having sex within the first 15 minutes of being in her kitchen…funny thing we ended up ordering in because we just kept going round after round and didn’t end up cooking and I ended up leaving my groceries at her place.

We dated for a few months


We ended up ordering in and just banging like rabbits

This only works if you're hot though

[Anonymous]

Try a UU church. Your beliefs or lack thereof will not matter so long as you are doing good works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try a UU church. Your beliefs or lack thereof will not matter so long as you are doing good works.

Catholic girls are hotter than the people you see at uu

[Anonymous]

I think there are boring single women in the burbs, too. Get on the apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whole Foods pick up works —

I was in the check out line on a busy weekday evening and a cute girl who was 23/24 dropped her phone accidentally on the conveyor belt and it rolled to me (I was ahead of her in line)..I picked it up and gave it back to her and said “woah, I just wanted your number not your phone”….

anyways after I was done checking out, I waited for her and all I said was “what’s up, your cute, why don’t we see what dinner we can make together sometime if we combine our Whole Foods hauls” ….I was just wanting to get her number for a future date but she invited me back to her place, and we were having sex within the first 15 minutes of being in her kitchen…funny thing we ended up ordering in because we just kept going round after round and didn’t end up cooking and I ended up leaving my groceries at her place.

We dated for a few months


We ended up ordering in and just banging like rabbits

This only works if you're hot though

Lol no. I look like a less pretty a bit more masculine rishi sunak. I do dress well though.

Shooter’s shoot - that’s all it is. As MJ said, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

[Anonymous]

Ask your neighbors if they have a niece, friend, etc. that you might enjoy meeting. Suburban mom here and I know so many single women and no single men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: before you do something dumb like get married, read the threads here for six months. Find out how women feel about their husbands, how they cheat, how they gaslight, how they connive among themselves to extract all the money from their husband in a divorce.

No, you aren't too boring. And no, you should not waste your life in a marriage.

plus a million

[Anonymous]

I posted some suggestions above but adding some of the best ones that I omitted:

- A big running club that meets weekly. This will be mostly women, and into fitness. It also tends to draw people who are professionals newer to the area and forming friendships. The ongoing, weekly/regular in person activity with a big group would be great for you.

-- Is kickball still a thing in DC? Mixed gender sports leagues would be great for you.