I can’t decide whether to stay in private or not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

We have been to both MCPS and Big 3…. Sorry, but you are wrong. The difference is huge in what the kids actually get (especially from the teachers and the smaller class size). But keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel better.

+1

Agree that those who "laugh at" the other post just do not know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

We have been to both MCPS and Big 3…. Sorry, but you are wrong. The difference is huge in what the kids actually get (especially from the teachers and the smaller class size). But keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel better.

NP:
The OP's child isn't at a Big 3... your comment is irrelevant. No pk-8 in DMV is like a Big 3. (and the Cathedral schools only start in 4th, so no way to compare K there either!)
You are not comparing what the discussion is about: excellent MCPS elem vs k-8.

There are a very small handful of K-8s in DC and Va. that are actually better than what is currently on offer at MCPS. No one in the BCC / Ws residential neighborhoods want to believe this, and they'll tell you that the younger grades are just about coloring, or something. And my g0d did you SEE HOW ACCELERATED our math tracks can get????? Did I mention MATH???

There's more to those 9 years than how fast you can blow through Algebra a mile wide and an inch deep. The 2-3 K/8s that I know well do it better

This doesn’t need to be a war where you put down other schools. The W schools and BCC are great but not a fit for all students. There are also great privates, but not all are a fit for all students. There are also some privates that are not super impressive academically but have other great aspects that certain students/families prioritize. All of you should be so thankful you have so many good options to choose from when some people have no good options and no choices.

We are in that district and drank that coolaid about how much better the k-8 schools are. Paid over 900k when all added up. (God that's depressing.) I think the MS social experience is better, without a doubt, but the academics aren't that different for a middle of the road, no special needs, not in need of really small classes, etc in fact there are fewer options to get involved in upper elementary because the size of these smaller schools can limit the offerings. It also limits friend choices. There is no advanced track in these k-8 schools. If your child is ok speaking up for themselves, on track or advanced, then I would pick CCES over Lowell/Sheridan anyday. I would go to those k-8 (or a k-12) for MS however. Public MS is the pits. And if you were comparing other independent schools like Big 3 then I would say go private if you can. PP is correct there are many options and none are right for all, OP needs to think about her specific child. We don't know the kid. OP can always leave for financial reasons and tell them they will reapply again for 6th at k-8. I have seen people do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

We have been to both MCPS and Big 3…. Sorry, but you are wrong. The difference is huge in what the kids actually get (especially from the teachers and the smaller class size). But keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel better.

NP:
The OP's child isn't at a Big 3... your comment is irrelevant. No pk-8 in DMV is like a Big 3. (and the Cathedral schools only start in 4th, so no way to compare K there either!)
You are not comparing what the discussion is about: excellent MCPS elem vs k-8.

We have children who went k-8 and then Big 3 for HS. Having observed the Big 3 for many years now and speaking with "lifer" families or families that joined in middle school - I MUCH prefer our k-8 school, its programs, its culture, its community over the Big 3 for those grades. If your kid is strong enough to get into a Big 3 for HS admissions - then the k-8 plus Big 3 is the superior route. K-8 does a much better job at early and middle grade education and social/emotional development.

Yet again, comparing things when they are vastly different. The lifers you mention have no knowledge of OPs excellent elementary option, they were at the Big 3...so that hearsay is not on point. Glad you think you did the right track for your kids but not all kids need the same thing and if OP is thinking about how much money she is spending and questioning it that says a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We opted to keep DS in an independent school K-12 although we had to make some financial (investment) sacrifices to do it.

He emerged with an amazing education, which directly fed him into a top college, where he's doing really, really well. In a couple of years he'll have multiple job offers around the $100,000 mark ... and then he can buy his own property and take his own vacations, if he wants.

We gave him the "present" of an education that was superior to that in the public schools in our affluent, high achieving zip code. We thought that was a better lifelong gift than a couple of safaris.

Where can you buy your own property in a nice area and take awesome vacations when making only 100k? Not here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

We have been to both MCPS and Big 3…. Sorry, but you are wrong. The difference is huge in what the kids actually get (especially from the teachers and the smaller class size). But keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel better.

+1

Agree that those who "laugh at" the other post just do not know better.

I am the poster that laughed. If you read my post (and the post I was responding to), you would see that I did not say anything about “what the kids actually get” or “small class sizes.” I find it frankly offensive and condescending that you think I “just do not know better.” I think there are absolutely advantages and aspects private schools offer that make the investment worth it for some students or families. I just don’t think any of the things the person I was responding to are those things. That poster basically said private schools provide confidence, external motivation, comfort around intelligent people, and the ability to self-advocate. My point was that those things are easily and commonly provided at public schools and in the homes of public school families. Had the poster said she invests in private schools because she values small class sizes, single sex education (if applicable), student body where certain behaviors are screened or counseled out, etc. I’d say that yes, those are not things the public can or will offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opted to keep DS in an independent school K-12 although we had to make some financial (investment) sacrifices to do it.

He emerged with an amazing education, which directly fed him into a top college, where he's doing really, really well. In a couple of years he'll have multiple job offers around the $100,000 mark ... and then he can buy his own property and take his own vacations, if he wants.

We gave him the "present" of an education that was superior to that in the public schools in our affluent, high achieving zip code. We thought that was a better lifelong gift than a couple of safaris.

Our kids make that money and they went to public schools and state colleges. You’re drawing a connection between one and the other where there very likely isn’t one.

no no.. it has to be because of the private schooling. How else will ^PP justify the expense?

[Anonymous]

Op, we left our “excellent” MCPS elementary (Whitman feeder district) after K for our oldest to go to our preK-8. We will never go back to public school.

We have three kids so the tuition is a significant portion of our income, and absolutely will reduce how much we will leave as an inheritance. But it doesn’t affect our college savings or retirement.

There differences in curriculum are significant, especially as they relate to reading. Our school teaches using phonics, which is not how MCPS teaches. My oldest didn’t learn to read in MCPS kindergarten, but their first grade teacher taught them and now they love reading.

There is also a significant difference in having PE almost daily and time to run around during snack time and recess daily. My kids also love having science, art, and music multiple times a week. You get those once a week in public.

There are other benefits to private school, but there are significant curriculum and structural differences other than the nice facilities and small class sizes.

Socially, give yourself time - have you had a chance to meet other parents at birthday parties? Hosted play dates? At young ages (private or public), friendships are facilitated by the parents. It took me a year or two to find “my people” at our private, although my kids found friends sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, we left our “excellent” MCPS elementary (Whitman feeder district) after K for our oldest to go to our preK-8. We will never go back to public school.

We have three kids so the tuition is a significant portion of our income, and absolutely will reduce how much we will leave as an inheritance. But it doesn’t affect our college savings or retirement.

There differences in curriculum are significant, especially as they relate to reading. Our school teaches using phonics, which is not how MCPS teaches. My oldest didn’t learn to read in MCPS kindergarten, but their first grade teacher taught them and now they love reading.

There is also a significant difference in having PE almost daily and time to run around during snack time and recess daily. My kids also love having science, art, and music multiple times a week. You get those once a week in public.

There are other benefits to private school, but there are significant curriculum and structural differences other than the nice facilities and small class sizes.

Socially, give yourself time - have you had a chance to meet other parents at birthday parties? Hosted play dates? At young ages (private or public), friendships are facilitated by the parents. It took me a year or two to find “my people” at our private, although my kids found friends sooner.

MCPS has entirely revamped how they teach reading since your child was in K, and they do now teach phonics. Students in MCPS do also have PE daily in 6-8. Your one year of K in MCPS with a struggling learner below grade level is a relevant perspective for sure, and it’s great that your kids’ needs are now met. But I just wanted to correct a few of your points because there have been more recent curricular changes you may not be aware of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tend to think kids should be in private if: their family has a load of money and easily pay tuition while also saving money/building wealth or if the kid has a special need that is not met in public school. Or you try public school and it's a disaster --kid gets lost in the crowd, is bored by everything going at the same place, behavior problems in the classroom, etc. Then private makes sense, only if you can afford it without a lot of sacrifice and can still keep your finances in good shape.

This is good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

We have been to both MCPS and Big 3…. Sorry, but you are wrong. The difference is huge in what the kids actually get (especially from the teachers and the smaller class size). But keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel better.

+1

Agree that those who "laugh at" the other post just do not know better.

I am the poster that laughed. If you read my post (and the post I was responding to), you would see that I did not say anything about “what the kids actually get” or “small class sizes.” I find it frankly offensive and condescending that you think I “just do not know better.” I think there are absolutely advantages and aspects private schools offer that make the investment worth it for some students or families. I just don’t think any of the things the person I was responding to are those things. That poster basically said private schools provide confidence, external motivation, comfort around intelligent people, and the ability to self-advocate. My point was that those things are easily and commonly provided at public schools and in the homes of public school families. Had the poster said she invests in private schools because she values small class sizes, single sex education (if applicable), student body where certain behaviors are screened or counseled out, etc. I’d say that yes, those are not things the public can or will offer.

Of course you can learn those things in public, but private school students and parents self select. All private school kids/parents value education, extracurricular, travels, etc. All kids in private do those things. All children are high achievers (not some or a few). Not having problem children in class means that the two teachers my daughter has cal focus on all the children equally. Having smaller class size means that all kids (shy or not) learn public speaking because they make presentations everyday. Having a psychologist in the school means my daughter was able to work with a person who knew her, her friends, her unique situation… I could keep going… you don’t get this anywhere else.

This is why we sacrifice for private

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opted to keep DS in an independent school K-12 although we had to make some financial (investment) sacrifices to do it.

He emerged with an amazing education, which directly fed him into a top college, where he's doing really, really well. In a couple of years he'll have multiple job offers around the $100,000 mark ... and then he can buy his own property and take his own vacations, if he wants.

We gave him the "present" of an education that was superior to that in the public schools in our affluent, high achieving zip code. We thought that was a better lifelong gift than a couple of safaris.

yea, no public school student around here went to ivies, got six figure offers out of college, etc..

I guess a public school student who is able to achieve the same as a private school student is actually a lot smarter and harder working since public schools suck so much.

It's not like Sergey Brin, the co-founder of Google went to a public school...oh wait. He did. He went to Eleanor Roosevelt HS in Greenbelt in that dreadful, awful PG County School System that is the death knell of any student with ambition (so say the MCPS boosters). I also know private school students who went to college and got useless degrees and ended up working middle class jobs.

Where you go to school is only one potential indicator of financial success. A huge amount is also opportunity and what you choose to do with your education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, we left our “excellent” MCPS elementary (Whitman feeder district) after K for our oldest to go to our preK-8. We will never go back to public school.

We have three kids so the tuition is a significant portion of our income, and absolutely will reduce how much we will leave as an inheritance. But it doesn’t affect our college savings or retirement.

There differences in curriculum are significant, especially as they relate to reading. Our school teaches using phonics, which is not how MCPS teaches. My oldest didn’t learn to read in MCPS kindergarten, but their first grade teacher taught them and now they love reading.

There is also a significant difference in having PE almost daily and time to run around during snack time and recess daily. My kids also love having science, art, and music multiple times a week. You get those once a week in public.

There are other benefits to private school, but there are significant curriculum and structural differences other than the nice facilities and small class sizes.

Socially, give yourself time - have you had a chance to meet other parents at birthday parties? Hosted play dates? At young ages (private or public), friendships are facilitated by the parents. It took me a year or two to find “my people” at our private, although my kids found friends sooner.

MCPS has entirely revamped how they teach reading since your child was in K, and they do now teach phonics. Students in MCPS do also have PE daily in 6-8. Your one year of K in MCPS with a struggling learner below grade level is a relevant perspective for sure, and it’s great that your kids’ needs are now met. But I just wanted to correct a few of your points because there have been more recent curricular changes you may not be aware of.

How recent was this revamp? Our DD did MCPS K just two years ago and no phonics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opted to keep DS in an independent school K-12 although we had to make some financial (investment) sacrifices to do it.

He emerged with an amazing education, which directly fed him into a top college, where he's doing really, really well. In a couple of years he'll have multiple job offers around the $100,000 mark ... and then he can buy his own property and take his own vacations, if he wants.

We gave him the "present" of an education that was superior to that in the public schools in our affluent, high achieving zip code. We thought that was a better lifelong gift than a couple of safaris.

yea, no public school student around here went to ivies, got six figure offers out of college, etc..

I guess a public school student who is able to achieve the same as a private school student is actually a lot smarter and harder working since public schools suck so much.

It's not like Sergey Brin, the co-founder of Google went to a public school...oh wait. He did. He went to Eleanor Roosevelt HS in Greenbelt in that dreadful, awful PG County School System that is the death knell of any student with ambition (so say the MCPS boosters). I also know private school students who went to college and got useless degrees and ended up working middle class jobs.

Where you go to school is only one potential indicator of financial success. A huge amount is also opportunity and what you choose to do with your education.

I live in a umc neighborhood, and I am surrounded by many who went to private school. Some have jobs that don't earn very much, and they live off of their parents. The ones around here who went to public school are clearly doing well financially. Many are doctors and lawyers.

Sure, there are many former private school kids who end up as lawyers and doctors, too. But clearly, so do many public school students.

That ^^PP must have had a private school education to not realize this. Or you were not smart enough with your public school education to understand that it's not about private school education. As a pp stated, it's what you do with your education period that determines how you end up, public or private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, we left our “excellent” MCPS elementary (Whitman feeder district) after K for our oldest to go to our preK-8. We will never go back to public school.

We have three kids so the tuition is a significant portion of our income, and absolutely will reduce how much we will leave as an inheritance. But it doesn’t affect our college savings or retirement.

There differences in curriculum are significant, especially as they relate to reading. Our school teaches using phonics, which is not how MCPS teaches. My oldest didn’t learn to read in MCPS kindergarten, but their first grade teacher taught them and now they love reading.

There is also a significant difference in having PE almost daily and time to run around during snack time and recess daily. My kids also love having science, art, and music multiple times a week. You get those once a week in public.

There are other benefits to private school, but there are significant curriculum and structural differences other than the nice facilities and small class sizes.

Socially, give yourself time - have you had a chance to meet other parents at birthday parties? Hosted play dates? At young ages (private or public), friendships are facilitated by the parents. It took me a year or two to find “my people” at our private, although my kids found friends sooner.

MCPS has entirely revamped how they teach reading since your child was in K, and they do now teach phonics. Students in MCPS do also have PE daily in 6-8. Your one year of K in MCPS with a struggling learner below grade level is a relevant perspective for sure, and it’s great that your kids’ needs are now met. But I just wanted to correct a few of your points because there have been more recent curricular changes you may not be aware of.

How recent was this revamp? Our DD did MCPS K just two years ago and no phonics.

They started the new methodology this school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, we left our “excellent” MCPS elementary (Whitman feeder district) after K for our oldest to go to our preK-8. We will never go back to public school.

We have three kids so the tuition is a significant portion of our income, and absolutely will reduce how much we will leave as an inheritance. But it doesn’t affect our college savings or retirement.

There differences in curriculum are significant, especially as they relate to reading. Our school teaches using phonics, which is not how MCPS teaches. My oldest didn’t learn to read in MCPS kindergarten, but their first grade teacher taught them and now they love reading.

There is also a significant difference in having PE almost daily and time to run around during snack time and recess daily. My kids also love having science, art, and music multiple times a week. You get those once a week in public.

There are other benefits to private school, but there are significant curriculum and structural differences other than the nice facilities and small class sizes.

Socially, give yourself time - have you had a chance to meet other parents at birthday parties? Hosted play dates? At young ages (private or public), friendships are facilitated by the parents. It took me a year or two to find “my people” at our private, although my kids found friends sooner.

You could've taught your kid how to read at home and saved the tuition. Thousands of public school kids learn to read well without paying for private school or tutors. Maybe your kid just needed extra special attention. Both of my kids were reading way above grade level before they went to K. All we did was read to them at home, and then it went from there. We didn't push them to read. They just naturally started picking it up.

Some kids just need smaller class sizes to do better, and some don't. Glad it worked out for you.