I can’t decide whether to stay in private or not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

Why are you at this forum?

DP here. Such a lame and predictable - and defensive - response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

Why are you at this forum?

why do private school parents lurk in public school forums posting stuff like.. "see.. this is why we left public school".

Also, ".... they are publics with large class size and MCPS curriculum." -- somehow with large classes and "MCPS curriculum" many kids end up going to great colleges, including many elite ones.

I mean, sure, if your kid needs small class sizes, then stay in private.

And if OP is worried her kid hasn't met "friends" because they were new to K in private, then how do you think your kid will meet friends starting 1st grade in a "large public school"?

OP's worries seem dumb to me. IMO, you should keep your kid in private. Your money will buy you comfort in knowing that your kid isn't in a large public with MCPS curriculum. Then you can lurk in the MCPS forum, and pat yourself on the back for making the right choice in paying $40K for Ker.

[Anonymous]

It really can go either way. The one thing with privates is that it's a lot of work at younger ages for parents - we were in public with our 2 kids until MS and the stuff like birthday cupcakes and class productions to track meets - it's a lot more than needed in public. We feel our private is great. Same position as OP and we prob struggle a bit more yet it's worthwhile for us. We put DD in as she does not need pvt but has really benefitted from it. This is such a personal decision and relates to each specific school. DH is not keen on continuing to HS but I am. There's so much violence and going ons I feel my kids are safer in our private as well. But I will say this is our second private and I did not feel this way about our first school. It's really about perspective - it depends on what you hope for for your kids. In ours, DS has learning disabilities and socially is more awkward so less kids is best. It's less than public but still pretty large population. We are over the moon with our school and j Hyde feel it's like a work place in that the kid is there all day every day. I want them to really
enjoy as I would my environment of work. DD does not need it but who needs nice sheets? Lol vacations and great but every single day being on the happy side to me is worth it. There's no right or wrong answer and you can give them the foundation until HS when they may be more flex in experiencing different dynamics. But ours started in 5th and has said she does not ever want to return to public even though many if her close neighborhood friends are there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

We have been to both MCPS and Big 3…. Sorry, but you are wrong. The difference is huge in what the kids actually get (especially from the teachers and the smaller class size). But keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel better.

NP:
The OP's child isn't at a Big 3... your comment is irrelevant. No pk-8 in DMV is like a Big 3. (and the Cathedral schools only start in 4th, so no way to compare K there either!)
You are not comparing what the discussion is about: excellent MCPS elem vs k-8.

We have children who went k-8 and then Big 3 for HS. Having observed the Big 3 for many years now and speaking with "lifer" families or families that joined in middle school - I MUCH prefer our k-8 school, its programs, its culture, its community over the Big 3 for those grades. If your kid is strong enough to get into a Big 3 for HS admissions - then the k-8 plus Big 3 is the superior route. K-8 does a much better job at early and middle grade education and social/emotional development.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I find it much important to be at the local zoned public at that stage of life. In ES, K-5, is when they will meet the other kids that live in your neighborhood and will get to socialize with them. If you put them in private in ES, then you pretty much give up on them having friends who live nearby unless you are involved with some other local activity. There's a lot of value with knowing and having friends nearby who they can see at the local playground, see in activities that are nearby (we go to local events and often see kids from their school at local events). If they know kids from ES and then leave for MS or HS, then they will still know the kids if they encounter them in the neighborhood. They'll still be able to hang out or catch up with kids they knew when younger. There will still be some element of friendship. I've found that kids that go to private ES, unless there is some other activity (like regularly meeting at the playground or having neighborhood playdates or running together during the summer), they will not bond as well with other local children later in life. It will just be some other kids in the neighborhood and they won't have anything in common and they'll be less likely to make the effort to become friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

Why are you at this forum?

DP here. Such a lame and predictable - and defensive - response.

PP. I am genuinely curious. Why are public (or private) school parents lurking on each other forums? It seems they want reassurance that they made the right decision. And they did if it was the right decision for their family. To each, their own. But it bothers me when they want to generalize. Not everyone wants the same things. If I go to a private school forum, I expect people with private school experience to answer me. The same goes the other way around.

[Anonymous]

I tend to think kids should be in private if: their family has a load of money and easily pay tuition while also saving money/building wealth or if the kid has a special need that is not met in public school. Or you try public school and it's a disaster --kid gets lost in the crowd, is bored by everything going at the same place, behavior problems in the classroom, etc. Then private makes sense, only if you can afford it without a lot of sacrifice and can still keep your finances in good shape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

Why are you at this forum?

DP here. Such a lame and predictable - and defensive - response.

PP. I am genuinely curious. Why are public (or private) school parents lurking on each other forums? It seems they want reassurance that they made the right decision. And they did if it was the right decision for their family. To each, their own. But it bothers me when they want to generalize. Not everyone wants the same things. If I go to a private school forum, I expect people with private school experience to answer me. The same goes the other way around.

No, you are genuinely a PITA. That’s what you are

First, there’s no law that anything appearing in the private school forum is hands off to public school families or vice versa.

Second, this post appears on the “recent topic” threads and its title is likely to attract all kinds of readers, just like many other topics do. I just posted on a thread where somebody wanted advice on whether to force their kids to visit their grandparents. Since my grandparents are dead, does that mean I have no right to comment on that thread?

Get a life man. You’re not the DCUM police. You just come across as someone who was triggered by the well reasoned response of a public school poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we opted against private for our 3 children for the reasons that you stated. we have instead opted to build wealth for the kids by saving the $40K per head and invest in brokerage/retirement/529s. We supplement with a ton of enrichment activities, take great vacations overseas, and are still able to save quite a bit. The kids are also in AAP/honors courses at FCPS and doing well. I didn't see the need for private and have been pleased with how things have worked out thus far.

Your decision will be personal but I have enjoyed the financial freedom that comes with public, and knowing that we don't have to worry about our retirement or our kids' futures.

I myself went to a nice private school (loved it) so I feel that I have a good handle of what the pros/cons are of each option. I made the right decision for our family.

Best of luck.

Sorry, but according to that other poster you’re not allowed to comment here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

Why are you at this forum?

DP here. Such a lame and predictable - and defensive - response.

PP. I am genuinely curious. Why are public (or private) school parents lurking on each other forums? It seems they want reassurance that they made the right decision. And they did if it was the right decision for their family. To each, their own. But it bothers me when they want to generalize. Not everyone wants the same things. If I go to a private school forum, I expect people with private school experience to answer me. The same goes the other way around.

OP is expecting private school parents who may not have any public school experience to provide input on whether they should stay at private. Self selection and bias. Of course the vast majority of private school parents who have never had their kid in public school here will say they should stay in private. Self selection and confirmation bias.

Then you have parents who had kids in both but now in private will say to OP stay in private because public schools are a mess. Confirmation bias.

Then you have public school parents who may or may not have had kids in private say that their public school is fine, and their kid is getting a great education, even some going to HYP. Confirmation bias.

That's why it's good to get both perspectives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

Why are you at this forum?

DP here. Such a lame and predictable - and defensive - response.

PP. I am genuinely curious. Why are public (or private) school parents lurking on each other forums? It seems they want reassurance that they made the right decision. And they did if it was the right decision for their family. To each, their own. But it bothers me when they want to generalize. Not everyone wants the same things. If I go to a private school forum, I expect people with private school experience to answer me. The same goes the other way around.

OP is expecting private school parents who may not have any public school experience to provide input on whether they should stay at private. Self selection and bias. Of course the vast majority of private school parents who have never had their kid in public school here will say they should stay in private. Self selection and confirmation bias.

Then you have parents who had kids in both but now in private will say to OP stay in private because public schools are a mess. Confirmation bias.

Then you have public school parents who may or may not have had kids in private say that their public school is fine, and their kid is getting a great education, even some going to HYP. Confirmation bias.

That's why it's good to get both perspectives.

+1 exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

Why are you at this forum?

DP here. Such a lame and predictable - and defensive - response.

PP. I am genuinely curious. Why are public (or private) school parents lurking on each other forums? It seems they want reassurance that they made the right decision. And they did if it was the right decision for their family. To each, their own. But it bothers me when they want to generalize. Not everyone wants the same things. If I go to a private school forum, I expect people with private school experience to answer me. The same goes the other way around.

No, you are genuinely a PITA. That’s what you are

First, there’s no law that anything appearing in the private school forum is hands off to public school families or vice versa.

Second, this post appears on the “recent topic” threads and its title is likely to attract all kinds of readers, just like many other topics do. I just posted on a thread where somebody wanted advice on whether to force their kids to visit their grandparents. Since my grandparents are dead, does that mean I have no right to comment on that thread?

Get a life man. You’re not the DCUM police. You just come across as someone who was triggered by the well reasoned response of a public school poster.

Thank you. This partially answers my question. I usually search the topic first. I wasn't aware of the "recent topic" threads. That explains why someone who is not interested in general in private education may want to comment on a specific thread. Hey, sorry if my comment triggered some emotions. It wasn't my intention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who kids become as people largely depends on their experiences growing up. It depends on the type of family they have, but also on the teachers and friends. If I think my children will become more confident, able to stand up for themselves, comfortable around intelligent and educated people, feel valued as people, aim higher because of what they are exposed to, etc. then yes, it is worth it for me.

For us private school for 3 kids is a stretch, but we feel it’s totally worth it. We are at top private schools and that is all I know (and public). I don’t know if I would feel the same at other schools

I had to laugh at this post. As a public school family, my kids absolutely have all of those things. Come on. Comfortable around intelligent and educated people? My kids’ great great grandmothers are all college educated and everyone has advanced degrees. Two of my child’s public school teachers have PhDs this year. My kids are super confident and aim very high. MCPS, like any school or school system, certainly has flaws. But all the values PP listed can absolutely be emphasized for FREE at public.

We have been to both MCPS and Big 3…. Sorry, but you are wrong. The difference is huge in what the kids actually get (especially from the teachers and the smaller class size). But keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel better.

NP:
The OP's child isn't at a Big 3... your comment is irrelevant. No pk-8 in DMV is like a Big 3. (and the Cathedral schools only start in 4th, so no way to compare K there either!)
You are not comparing what the discussion is about: excellent MCPS elem vs k-8.

There are a very small handful of K-8s in DC and Va. that are actually better than what is currently on offer at MCPS. No one in the BCC / Ws residential neighborhoods want to believe this, and they'll tell you that the younger grades are just about coloring, or something. And my g0d did you SEE HOW ACCELERATED our math tracks can get????? Did I mention MATH???

There's more to those 9 years than how fast you can blow through Algebra a mile wide and an inch deep. The 2-3 K/8s that I know well do it better

[Anonymous]

We opted to keep DS in an independent school K-12 although we had to make some financial (investment) sacrifices to do it.

He emerged with an amazing education, which directly fed him into a top college, where he's doing really, really well. In a couple of years he'll have multiple job offers around the $100,000 mark ... and then he can buy his own property and take his own vacations, if he wants.

We gave him the "present" of an education that was superior to that in the public schools in our affluent, high achieving zip code. We thought that was a better lifelong gift than a couple of safaris.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We opted to keep DS in an independent school K-12 although we had to make some financial (investment) sacrifices to do it.

He emerged with an amazing education, which directly fed him into a top college, where he's doing really, really well. In a couple of years he'll have multiple job offers around the $100,000 mark ... and then he can buy his own property and take his own vacations, if he wants.

We gave him the "present" of an education that was superior to that in the public schools in our affluent, high achieving zip code. We thought that was a better lifelong gift than a couple of safaris.

yea, no public school student around here went to ivies, got six figure offers out of college, etc..

I guess a public school student who is able to achieve the same as a private school student is actually a lot smarter and harder working since public schools suck so much.