WWYD with this rude child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol listen Ms. Marple, no one is denying that I left the marriage. Why are you blathering on (too much wine maybe)? It’s water off my back. I’m not sure why you think you’re such a paramount sleuth. The facts are easy to discern and not a secret. His leaving had nothing to do with hating me (in fact he still asks me to reunite) and everything to to with the A reasons I already cited. Regardless even if this kid were correct, which he is not, it is totally unconscionable to say something so obnoxious to another kid’s face.

As for your skepticism about said kid’s other behavior, you’re just going to have to believe the premise that it’s true if you want to join the conversation. As an example this same kid I have personally witnessed making fun of less affluent people for being less affluent; and he has been supremely pushy and obnoxious about repeatedly calling at the crack of dawn every day even when told to stop by a parent. We literally had to block his number because he wouldn’t comply.

The facts are not a secret?

What. Is. The. Kid's. Age???

[Anonymous]

OP - you sound defensive and melodramatic. If kid is under 10, not a crazy thing to think or say out louf. Even if kid older, not at all illogical to think or assume this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, because insulting a boy’s mom and family isn’t an insult to the boy? What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with YOU??

Kids don't hang onto things like this, although parents definitely do.
There's a reason we're not getting the kids ages - that's the one question that's been avoided since page 1.

Why is that??

Not OP and not the PP to whom you're so stridently responding, but: Yes, kids do "hang onto things like this." At many ages. You don't seem to know much about the fact that different kids respond differently to parents' marital problems, divorces, and comments about their parents made by other kids. You cannot know that OP's son (or any kid who hears similar nasty comments about their parents) is blithely able to forget about it and move on. You also seem very invested in berating the OP and accusing her of holding out on you while you engage in speculation about her situation. So you have nothing much to offer except your angry responses, no advice, just your ignorance about how kids process things like this. I have a feeling you'll jump in to claim you know all about how kids think and feel, blah blah etc. because you seem to need to be right--or at least to have the final word.

[Anonymous]

What I want to know is Why her child told her? It seems that maybe her own child wants to take a break and that’s exactly why he’s relaying this story. Worth considering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, because insulting a boy’s mom and family isn’t an insult to the boy? What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with YOU??

Kids don't hang onto things like this, although parents definitely do.
There's a reason we're not getting the kids ages - that's the one question that's been avoided since page 1.

Why is that??

Not OP and not the PP to whom you're so stridently responding, but: Yes, kids do "hang onto things like this." At many ages. You don't seem to know much about the fact that different kids respond differently to parents' marital problems, divorces, and comments about their parents made by other kids. You cannot know that OP's son (or any kid who hears similar nasty comments about their parents) is blithely able to forget about it and move on. You also seem very invested in berating the OP and accusing her of holding out on you while you engage in speculation about her situation. So you have nothing much to offer except your angry responses, no advice, just your ignorance about how kids process things like this. I have a feeling you'll jump in to claim you know all about how kids think and feel, blah blah etc. because you seem to need to be right--or at least to have the final word.

OP here, thanks for putting succinctly why I won’t engage further with this PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I want to know is Why her child told her? It seems that maybe her own child wants to take a break and that’s exactly why he’s relaying this story. Worth considering.

Good thought, thank you. I’ve been approaching this by coaching him to stand up for himsrr we of and be his own man, but this is worth considering too.

[Anonymous]

^ himself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did your kid feel about it? Your post is all about your feelings.

Kid told me the story and was offended and said so.

1) you weren't even there.
2) did the kid apologize to your child? I hope so.
3) drop it. The kid is a kid and stupid things come out of the smartest and kindest of peoples at all different times. I know it hurts but it wasn't actually about you. So let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, because insulting a boy’s mom and family isn’t an insult to the boy? What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with YOU??

Kids don't hang onto things like this, although parents definitely do.
There's a reason we're not getting the kids ages - that's the one question that's been avoided since page 1.

Why is that??

Not OP and not the PP to whom you're so stridently responding, but: Yes, kids do "hang onto things like this." At many ages. You don't seem to know much about the fact that different kids respond differently to parents' marital problems, divorces, and comments about their parents made by other kids. You cannot know that OP's son (or any kid who hears similar nasty comments about their parents) is blithely able to forget about it and move on. You also seem very invested in berating the OP and accusing her of holding out on you while you engage in speculation about her situation. So you have nothing much to offer except your angry responses, no advice, just your ignorance about how kids process things like this. I have a feeling you'll jump in to claim you know all about how kids think and feel, blah blah etc. because you seem to need to be right--or at least to have the final word.

Sure op, suuuuure... try writing with less emotion & investment next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, because insulting a boy’s mom and family isn’t an insult to the boy? What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with YOU??

Kids don't hang onto things like this, although parents definitely do.
There's a reason we're not getting the kids ages - that's the one question that's been avoided since page 1.

Why is that??

Not OP and not the PP to whom you're so stridently responding, but: Yes, kids do "hang onto things like this." At many ages. You don't seem to know much about the fact that different kids respond differently to parents' marital problems, divorces, and comments about their parents made by other kids. You cannot know that OP's son (or any kid who hears similar nasty comments about their parents) is blithely able to forget about it and move on. You also seem very invested in berating the OP and accusing her of holding out on you while you engage in speculation about her situation. So you have nothing much to offer except your angry responses, no advice, just your ignorance about how kids process things like this. I have a feeling you'll jump in to claim you know all about how kids think and feel, blah blah etc. because you seem to need to be right--or at least to have the final word.

OP here, thanks for putting succinctly why I won’t engage further with this PP.

Sock puppeting is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s same aged kid has all-around issues with being domineering, entitled, manipulative and demanding. DH and I are separated (I left for multiple A reasons) and DH moved cross country for a job in his extremely specialized field. At lunch other kid said to mine, “wow, your dad must really hate your mom to move that far away.” His dad immediately told him that was inappropriate to say. I refrained from punching the kid when I found out. But I was stunned at how cruel and out of line the kid was (and also, wrong) and am inclined to take a break from this family and tell the parents why, and/or to demand an apology. I am not sure how else to convey my fury at how their kid treated mine. Thoughts?

Question from the header: "WWYD with this rude child?"

What would I do?
Nothing. It's not my child. There's nothing I CAN do.
What I CAN do is speak to my own child about what they said & ensure that they understood that the child was not only inappropriate, but very wrong in what they said.

Your child is going to react, based on your reactions
Your child is going to determine how this affects them, based on how much it affects you.
If you tell them that the child is wrong, remind them how much their dad loves them & if he could, he'd live here too, and then say something lighthearted & basically blow it off, so this way your child knows it doesn't bother you in the least.

The worst thing you can do is make a big deal out of it -- kids are very perceptive, and your child will think that it's a much bigger deal than you're letting on, based on your emotions & actions.
If you act like it didn't matter because it wasn't true, then your kid will feel the same way, and next time it happens, they won't let out bother them AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

* they won't let it bother them AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - you sound defensive and melodramatic. If kid is under 10, not a crazy thing to think or say out louf. Even if kid older, not at all illogical to think or assume this.

Make that under 8.

I have an almost 10 year old. I cannot imagine a child that age being so callous. Maybe the kid has special needs. Otherwise, they definitely should know better by 8/9.

OP, how old is the kid?

[Anonymous]

I call troll. Changing stories, won’t provide salient details, sock puppeting. So weird.

[Anonymous]

Some kids are jerks. Some kids have friends that have a parent move far away because they hate other parent. Maybe your kids friend genuinely thought this was a reason parents live so far apart. It’s kinda a mean thing to say but the Dad spoke to him. You need to move on.