Pressure from Teacher Gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP who refuses to participate in the class gift and instead makes sure you get credit for a gift- what a horrible person you are.

I don't think anyone said this.

[Anonymous]

The class parents gossip and talk. It’s not the teachers you have to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Big difference between school experiences here. Teacher in a title 1 school and never received a class gift. I always received a ton of gifts, but a very rare $25 was definitely the most.

Now Im a parent in a very gentrified, but still Title 1 school and I am absolutely appalled at how much the class collects for the teachers at Christmas and end of the year.

How much?

I'm a room parent in a diverse (but not Title I) ES school and last year, we asked for $5-$15 each and collected $70 from a class of 28 kids. My BFF lives in McLean and she said that she was asked to contribute $25-$50 towards the class gift and that the norm is to contribute to the class gift PLUS give individual gifts, if that gives you any sense of what they get in nicer areas. I'm sure it's even more in other places, I've read about the $1000 PTA requests in some parts of DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The class parents gossip and talk. It’s not the teachers you have to worry about.

This is bullshit - for one thing, room parents have no idea who buys individual presents, and for another thing, we have better things to do than care about your petty little ass. I have a full time job, I'm volunteering to help the teacher, I don't care about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- I just feel that if I can’t give my child will be singled and and it will be noticed by the teacher. It doesn’t feel fair. We don’t go out and buy new gifts for our own kids, we get a lot of hand me downs, which we appreciate. I just wish this practice wasn’t done.

A handmade card is just fine. Teachers don't want you to choose between gifts and your family's needs. Even a $5-10 gift card is ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do many classes have room parents? Nobody on my grade level team has had them over the last few years. I haven’t even thought about it.

Third Grade Teacher

Yes, in our school we have multiple room parents per classroom. If no one signs up for a particular class, the PTA emails the parents to ask if anyone will volunteer.

I always thought the point of the group gift is that you can collectively give the teacher a nicer gift than with individual gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2-3 times a year the room parents send messages about teacher gifts. It is such a stressful time for our family and I just want these organized gift emails to stop. It doesn’t feel optional. I know Christmas is coming I know I can send a gift. What happened to giving a gift because I choose to, because I can afford to? This really stresses me out. Anyone else?

It doesn't stress me as much as it annoys me. I hate those over-the-top stay at home relentless moms who HAVE to be involved in everything at school and try to force it onto other parents. Geez!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP who refuses to participate in the class gift and instead makes sure you get credit for a gift- what a horrible person you are.

I don't think anyone said this.

Who cares if they did feel that way? No one is OBLIGATED to give to a class gift. People are free to gift however and in whatever manner they see fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2-3 times a year the room parents send messages about teacher gifts. It is such a stressful time for our family and I just want these organized gift emails to stop. It doesn’t feel optional. I know Christmas is coming I know I can send a gift. What happened to giving a gift because I choose to, because I can afford to? This really stresses me out. Anyone else?

It doesn't stress me as much as it annoys me. I hate those over-the-top stay at home relentless moms who HAVE to be involved in everything at school and try to force it onto other parents. Geez!

I'm not SAHM but have a lot of flexibility. And I"ve always been involved b/c slackers like you are not. How do you think school events are staffed? And get food for concessions? And are able to pay for buses to sport events? Etc.? It's because of the same handful of parents to give of themselves every freaking year. Every freaking event. So that YOUR kid is still able to have these events. They are not "Forcing" things on you -I doubt you participate much and then sit back and whine- but asking for help so they are not always the ones that have to do it. If parents don't volunteer . . . . stuff doesn't happen.

I'm in the HS scene now. Got stuck on PTA again (which I don't prefer to do) because LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE will do it. ANd it's the same group of parents from ES stepping up with their time to ensure that all the events have volunteers, food donations are gotten, etc. They are also single handedly putting on All Night Grad, as they do every year, and that is a herculean effort. ALL DONE BY VOLUNTEERS so your kid can have a fun, safe,memorable grad night.

Quit your whining. Help out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2-3 times a year the room parents send messages about teacher gifts. It is such a stressful time for our family and I just want these organized gift emails to stop. It doesn’t feel optional. I know Christmas is coming I know I can send a gift. What happened to giving a gift because I choose to, because I can afford to? This really stresses me out. Anyone else?

It doesn't stress me as much as it annoys me. I hate those over-the-top stay at home relentless moms who HAVE to be involved in everything at school and try to force it onto other parents. Geez!

I'm not SAHM but have a lot of flexibility. And I"ve always been involved b/c slackers like you are not. How do you think school events are staffed? And get food for concessions? And are able to pay for buses to sport events? Etc.? It's because of the same handful of parents to give of themselves every freaking year. Every freaking event. So that YOUR kid is still able to have these events. They are not "Forcing" things on you -I doubt you participate much and then sit back and whine- but asking for help so they are not always the ones that have to do it. If parents don't volunteer . . . . stuff doesn't happen.

I'm in the HS scene now. Got stuck on PTA again (which I don't prefer to do) because LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE will do it. ANd it's the same group of parents from ES stepping up with their time to ensure that all the events have volunteers, food donations are gotten, etc. They are also single handedly putting on All Night Grad, as they do every year, and that is a herculean effort. ALL DONE BY VOLUNTEERS so your kid can have a fun, safe,memorable grad night.

Quit your whining. Help out.

\

And PS- not all of the volunteering is during the school day/work day. I realize some parents have shift work (including multiple shifts - like my parents did) but many, many more could come to after school or weekend events to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2-3 times a year the room parents send messages about teacher gifts. It is such a stressful time for our family and I just want these organized gift emails to stop. It doesn’t feel optional. I know Christmas is coming I know I can send a gift. What happened to giving a gift because I choose to, because I can afford to? This really stresses me out. Anyone else?

It doesn't stress me as much as it annoys me. I hate those over-the-top stay at home relentless moms who HAVE to be involved in everything at school and try to force it onto other parents. Geez!

I'm not SAHM but have a lot of flexibility. And I"ve always been involved b/c slackers like you are not. How do you think school events are staffed? And get food for concessions? And are able to pay for buses to sport events? Etc.? It's because of the same handful of parents to give of themselves every freaking year. Every freaking event. So that YOUR kid is still able to have these events. They are not "Forcing" things on you -I doubt you participate much and then sit back and whine- but asking for help so they are not always the ones that have to do it. If parents don't volunteer . . . . stuff doesn't happen.

I'm in the HS scene now. Got stuck on PTA again (which I don't prefer to do) because LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE will do it. ANd it's the same group of parents from ES stepping up with their time to ensure that all the events have volunteers, food donations are gotten, etc. They are also single handedly putting on All Night Grad, as they do every year, and that is a herculean effort. ALL DONE BY VOLUNTEERS so your kid can have a fun, safe,memorable grad night.

Quit your whining. Help out.

The teachers understand your pain, trust me. As a HS teacher, I probably spend $300 a year minimum on treats, gifts, prizes, and special supplies for my kids. I don’t have to do that, and I know I shouldn’t do that, but I can’t help myself. I rationalize it by considering it a gift to myself because it makes me smile to see how excited they can get about little things. I think sometimes they miss elementary school when they had room moms, cupcakes, and special events in class.

In any case, it upsets me to hear someone belittle the work parents do to make school a warm and happy place for kids. If you don’t have time to contribute yourself, fine, but do not denigrate stay at home moms (if *they* can afford to stay home and have more time to dedicate to their kids, why wouldn’t they?) and do not make light of how much they do for everyone’s kids INCLUDING yours.

[Anonymous]

I just want to thank the room parents for collecting for the teacher. I'm happy to give $10-20 towards a class gift and never feel under pressure to do so. In fact, I am super thankful that all I have to do is Venmo over some money. If I was the teacher, I'd rather have a gift card from everyone than a bunch of hand made crap to clutter my house or 20 different random gift cards of small denominations that I would have to write thank you notes for. Any amount is appreciated and if you really can't, then a thoughtful note should suffice. If this stresses you out then I feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP who refuses to participate in the class gift and instead makes sure you get credit for a gift- what a horrible person you are.

I don't think anyone said this.

Yes PP said they would never contribute to a group gift instead do their own gift card.

[Anonymous]

no this doesn't stress me out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does this bother you? Teachers make so little and public education is free. Why not give $20 for the holidays? These people are literally with your kids all day every day for most of the year. I don’t get why you wouldn’t want to participate. If you are truly broke, then just ignore. If you are being cheap, then just give.

They are with kids because it’s their job. Our first grade teacher makes $90,000 for 9 months of work, it’s not that bad!

School name?