Pressure from Teacher Gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- I just feel that if I can’t give my child will be singled and and it will be noticed by the teacher. It doesn’t feel fair. We don’t go out and buy new gifts for our own kids, we get a lot of hand me downs, which we appreciate. I just wish this practice wasn’t done.

I’ve worked with a few jerk teachers over the years and none of them would have cared or given much thought about who didn’t give gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I blame the teachers for this nonsense. Teachers could lay-out what will be done/not done. This is their classroom, not the room parents. They should be running their classrooms, as they wish.

Maybe- the room parents job is to communicate with the parents and coordinate parties, supply needs, and organize teacher gift. But I blame fcps. Fcps should not allow room parents too coordinate gifts for teachers. People should only gift on their own if they want to and not be pressured to participate.

There is more pressure to participate if everyone gives an individual gift because then the teacher knows who contributed and who did not. I remember as a kid making a gift for my Teacher, my classmates who bought her something got hand written thank you notes but I got nothing. If you don't think that the message was that the purchased gifts mattered and the ones made by kids did not you are crazy.

The group gift allows people who cannot afford to give something or who have a reason for not giving something (maybe they don't like the Teacher, maybe their faith is different and it would be weird for them to give something) to not be singled out.

+1
Group gift is much much better and I appreciate when room moms coordinate one.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. OP, please do not let this get to you. If you want to contribute or give a gift, that is fine. If you don’t want to give a gift, that is also fine. No teacher is going to look down on a child for not giving a gift. If they do, they are a rotten teacher and human being.

[Anonymous]

PP who refuses to participate in the class gift and instead makes sure you get credit for a gift- what a horrible person you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- I just feel that if I can’t give my child will be singled and and it will be noticed by the teacher. It doesn’t feel fair. We don’t go out and buy new gifts for our own kids, we get a lot of hand me downs, which we appreciate. I just wish this practice wasn’t done.

I was a class parent for years. I never let teachers know what families contributed. Just signed it from the entire class. Some parents gave 5 some gave 20 and some didn't contribute. I never questioned and I always signed it from the whole class. I wouldn't worry OP.

[Anonymous]

Big difference between school experiences here. Teacher in a title 1 school and never received a class gift. I always received a ton of gifts, but a very rare $25 was definitely the most.

Now Im a parent in a very gentrified, but still Title 1 school and I am absolutely appalled at how much the class collects for the teachers at Christmas and end of the year.

[Anonymous]

Unless your class parents are total jerks, any gift they give will be presented to the teacher as from the entire class. The teacher will never know who contributed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our FCPS elementary does not have room parents so I've never encountered this.

We usually get a small gift or gift card. $20 or less.

This exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Big difference between school experiences here. Teacher in a title 1 school and never received a class gift. I always received a ton of gifts, but a very rare $25 was definitely the most.

Now Im a parent in a very gentrified, but still Title 1 school and I am absolutely appalled at how much the class collects for the teachers at Christmas and end of the year.

THIS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Big difference between school experiences here. Teacher in a title 1 school and never received a class gift. I always received a ton of gifts, but a very rare $25 was definitely the most.

Now Im a parent in a very gentrified, but still Title 1 school and I am absolutely appalled at how much the class collects for the teachers at Christmas and end of the year.

How much?

[Anonymous]

OP just don't participate! I promise you no halfway decent teacher is keeping score, and if they aren't halfway decent why would you want to contribute anyway?

I have taught for years (secondary) and the most treasured gifts are handwritten notes from students and parents. They cost pennies to create.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does this bother you? Teachers make so little and public education is free. Why not give $20 for the holidays? These people are literally with your kids all day every day for most of the year. I don’t get why you wouldn’t want to participate. If you are truly broke, then just ignore. If you are being cheap, then just give.

They are with kids because it’s their job. Our first grade teacher makes $90,000 for 9 months of work, it’s not that bad!

[Anonymous]

Op, I agree with you. It’s too much pressure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- I just feel that if I can’t give my child will be singled and and it will be noticed by the teacher. It doesn’t feel fair. We don’t go out and buy new gifts for our own kids, we get a lot of hand me downs, which we appreciate. I just wish this practice wasn’t done.

This is just your extremely low self esteem talking. It's probably only about 25% of the class that gives gifts and like 5 families that contribute to the class gift.

This. Nobody cares, OP, and nobody will know what you do. The class gift is presented from the entire class. The teacher has no idea who contributed. The only person knows who contributes to the room gift is the mom who collects the money. And then SHE has no idea if you gave a gift on your own or not, so literally NOBODY will know what/if you gave except you and your kid, and your kid doesn't care. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I agree with you. It’s too much pressure.

The only pressure is the pressure you are putting on yourself.