Where in the DMV are parents of young kids allowed to be imperfect?

[Anonymous]

Once you realize that your job isn't to make sure the road is always smooth for your kid but to help them learn how to navigate the bumps it gets a lot easier. As my dad always said "Run your own race."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AU Park.

Ha good one!! I spit out my tea!!!

But seriously op check out cheverly

[Anonymous]

I'm in Chevy Chase and it's very relaxed here 😌

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eckington! Dysfunction junction up here.

Please tell me more. Just bought a house here and expected our very wanted first child. Thanks

[Anonymous]

I think you just have to find your crowd. I live in Arlington and have a super non-competitive group of mom friends. We are…not strivers. I honestly forget that this area is so intense because I have my pleasant bubble.

I picked a very laid back, play-based preschool for DD, and then I picked an option elementary school (that’s based on lottery, so no guarantee of getting in) that is also very laid back. I think that might be the key.

[Anonymous]

Silver Spring or Takoma Park Maryland. Also most of Prince George’s County.

[Anonymous]

I live in Crestwood and I can honestly say that my friends and neighbors here don't seem to be trying to outdo one another. The whole competitive parenting / keeping up with the Jones thing... I just haven't experienced it. Maybe it's just our block? Or maybe I just truly don't gaf so I don't notice it.

[Anonymous]

"The Good-Enough Mother"

[Anonymous]

You’d need to go to an area that doesn’t breed this sort of parenting… an area with fewer private schools, fewer enrichment activities, and parents with less disposable income…

I’m not one of those parents but I’ll tolerate them in exchange for living here. People make comments about how im so “laid back” sometimes bc my kids aren’t in activities every day or in camps all summer… we use public schools and each kid does 1-2 activities per season. We value downtime and routine and meals at home. I let my kids play alone in the yard at early ages. The 8 yr old wanders the neighborhood. Kids need opportunities to figure out who they are and what they like. A little boredom is healthy. They also need independence and opportunities to make mistakes. These are life skills that don’t develop in a curated over-parented childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try Woodridge or Mt. Ranier.

I will say, though, that there is a school quality tradeoff. Those neurotic parents really push for good schools. Do you want a school where all the parents are chill and not insisting on quality?

Very good point that's been overlooked. If your kids are high IQ and your parenting style is chill, you should give your kids the benefit of a good school and just learn to ignore the hyper-competitive parenting-as-an-elite-sport mentality of the people around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's because your area, and DCUM, are where perfectionist and highly educated people, interested in developing generational wealth, congregate. They have personalities and training that tend naturally to plan long-term, and they understand the world through a middle-class/UMC framework of getting ahead mostly by academics and diplomas (and tax loopholes).

It's only the incredibly wealthy and the incredibly poor that don't fit into that framework. The rest of us are on the hamster wheel.

this is not a bad description!

[Anonymous]

Spill it, OP. What did you get called out for?

[Anonymous]

Petworth/ 16 street heights and specifically around John Lewis Elementary. I finally feel like I have found my people where parents don't give up everything the minute they have kids. I also feel like there is a healthy attitude of we're all just doing the best we can.

[Anonymous]

Baltimore. Lots of realistic parents here even in private schools.

[Anonymous]

This area tends to be filled with those at the top of their class. I once met a lady at a playground in Alexandria. She was perfectly content to talk about kids until she found out that I lived in an apartment and was a single mom. She literally moved back away from me and went back to her kid. People aren’t very open minded here.