Is it weird to bring my mom to my in-law’s thanksgiving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it is not weird. She’s your mom!

+1 We do this in our family for various holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always host our family for Thanksgiving and never have I thought it weird if one of my in-laws brought their moms or other family members. I just need a final headcount in time to prepare food. No weirdness, no judging.

+1 totally agree

[Anonymous]

I’ve done this many times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it is not weird. She’s your mom!

This x 1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always include everyone, whether the original side or married-into side. Don't let your pride get in the way here, OP. (And I don't think you realize that it is pride here.) Your mother is in the situation she is in. Don't make it worse by having her stay at home by herself while you're having dinner with a big family. That would make me feel worse, to be excluded!

Exactly. It’s pride. I can’t believe OP would leave her Mom alone for Thanksgiving because she doesn’t want to give her MIL a reason to pity her.

[Anonymous]

What does mom want to do? I am divorced with a younger child and I love being alone, I am also not hung up on TG at all. But if your mom is sort of lonely and needy then it’s a different story.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely bring my mom.
My grandmother was widowed in her 50s. She always came to holidays on other side of family. We often have both sets of grandparents at our house for holidays and vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has nowhere else to go as I’m her only nearby family and I’m going to my in-laws’ place. They have a large family and my MIL is kind of smug about how blessed she is to have such a large, “close” family (whether it is close is debatable). They would welcome my mom, but MIL has a tendency to gossip and judge the misfortunes of others. My mom’s misfortune being that she is divorced and has no one but me. I hate for her to pity my mom or me. I’m thinking of seeing my mom by myself earlier in the day, then going to the in-laws without her. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me or her.

Invite your mom!

Go there... both of you laugh... smile... talk with everyone... bond..
compliment the relatives cooking or their baking or their outfits, etc.
Have a blast, and you & your mom be the hit of Thanksgiving!

I guarantee you that she won't feel sorry for either of you if you both look like you're having the most fun day ever. 😁

[Anonymous]

Ask your mom.

[Anonymous]

Ask both moms. Do they like each other? Do they generally get along well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has nowhere else to go as I’m her only nearby family and I’m going to my in-laws’ place. They have a large family and my MIL is kind of smug about how blessed she is to have such a large, “close” family (whether it is close is debatable). They would welcome my mom, but MIL has a tendency to gossip and judge the misfortunes of others. My mom’s misfortune being that she is divorced and has no one but me. I hate for her to pity my mom or me. I’m thinking of seeing my mom by myself earlier in the day, then going to the in-laws without her. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me or her.

All are local and the inlaw welcomes you [spouse of son] and your mom. Go and enjoy-the MIL will be busy. We're not welcome at large open house buffet style eating stuff hosted by local co-inlaw. Maybe 25-40 people? That person is divorced and expects remarried ex's family to attend stuff.

[Anonymous]

OP, the only weird thing is your attitude toward your MIL. Referring to her as "smug" in regards to her own family and questioning their closeness is a poor look for you.

Of course bring your mother. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Ask OP. You f'king idiot. Just ASK!

[Anonymous]

My family does this and I love it, especially with kids involved. So much easier than splitting holidays (day of or alternating).

That said, don’t present it as “my mom has nowhere to go because she’s divorced and I’m her only family.” If you MIL tries to conjure that up, shut it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless she is invited by in-law's answer is NO.

What kind of cold-hearted answer is that? My divorced mom has always been welcome at my in-laws. Of course you ask beforehand but if they say no, I wouldn’t go at all.