Why do some women ruin their looks with tattoos?

[Anonymous]

DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

[Anonymous]

I got my first (and only) tattoo at 55. My husband nearly died. The tattoo marks the beginning of his second chance. It means so much to me. I hope people aren’t judging me harshly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Hmm.. why do you lump "all old people" as having the same opinion?
You sound entitled too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got my first (and only) tattoo at 55. My husband nearly died. The tattoo marks the beginning of his second chance. It means so much to me. I hope people aren’t judging me harshly.

As long as it's not on your leg, neck or, really, anywhere visible. JK! Your tattoo is meaningful to you and has a story behind it you can share with those who ask you about it. That's cool. I don't want to hear about some chick's stars on her neck or crosses on her knuckles. "I love Jesus!" isn't interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Why are so few people capable of thinking abstractly when it comes to stuff like this? It has nothing to do with wanting strangers to be aesthetically pleasing to an individual person. In principle, yes, young women should as a whole not be encouraged do things to mar their beauty on purpose. Based on the answers in this thread, the tattoo very much is an expression of “screw you, if you think I’m ugly!” which is a statement in and of itself. It speaks of a petulant disdain for social restraint and lack of long-term thinking which is not a positive quality to have in a civilized, eusocial society. Has nothing to do with who does and does not get a boner from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Why are so few people capable of thinking abstractly when it comes to stuff like this? It has nothing to do with wanting strangers to be aesthetically pleasing to an individual person. In principle, yes, young women should as a whole not be encouraged do things to mar their beauty on purpose. Based on the answers in this thread, the tattoo very much is an expression of “screw you, if you think I’m ugly!” which is a statement in and of itself. It speaks of a petulant disdain for social restraint and lack of long-term thinking which is not a positive quality to have in a civilized, eusocial society. Has nothing to do with who does and does not get a boner from it.

You may be too smart and sensible for this place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tattoos are really trashy, on both men and women.

+1 and leg tattoos are the tackiest.

No, tramp stamps are the tackiest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Why are so few people capable of thinking abstractly when it comes to stuff like this? It has nothing to do with wanting strangers to be aesthetically pleasing to an individual person. In principle, yes, young women should as a whole not be encouraged do things to mar their beauty on purpose. Based on the answers in this thread, the tattoo very much is an expression of “screw you, if you think I’m ugly!” which is a statement in and of itself. It speaks of a petulant disdain for social restraint and lack of long-term thinking which is not a positive quality to have in a civilized, eusocial society. Has nothing to do with who does and does not get a boner from it.

You may be too smart and sensible for this place.

I don't know, this same PP thought they could write a thesis stating that people get tattoos due to petulant disdain for society based on . . . the responses on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Why are so few people capable of thinking abstractly when it comes to stuff like this? It has nothing to do with wanting strangers to be aesthetically pleasing to an individual person. In principle, yes, young women should as a whole not be encouraged do things to mar their beauty on purpose. Based on the answers in this thread, the tattoo very much is an expression of “screw you, if you think I’m ugly!” which is a statement in and of itself. It speaks of a petulant disdain for social restraint and lack of long-term thinking which is not a positive quality to have in a civilized, eusocial society. Has nothing to do with who does and does not get a boner from it.

This is an extremely problematic viewpoint. Women’s bodies are their own, to do with as they please. They are not a collective good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tattoos are really trashy, on both men and women.

+1 and leg tattoos are the tackiest.

No, tramp stamps are the tackiest.

Ooh, look, you got to throw your misogyny into the thread. Go you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's an unfortunate trend in (not all, but many) 20-somethings who are trying to keep up with their peers. Most of these tattoos age badly, either cosmetically or culturally, as one gets older and realize the edgy tribal band/cartoon character/"just breathe" insignia feels dated and immature.

I have occasionally seen some that are objectively beautiful.

Uhh...I don't think people have been getting "trendy" tribal band tattoos for at least 15 years. The people you seem to be describing perhaps got tattoos in their early 20s, which was 15-20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Hmm.. why do you lump "all old people" as having the same opinion?
You sound entitled too.

Good point, I said it in an insensitive way.

But I absolutely believe this is just something that happens when we age . . . we think the young people are idiots who are screwing everything up. It's always happened and it always will.

[Anonymous]

It is their canvas to decorate as they please. Not about you or anyone else.

[Anonymous]

When I married my husband he had a really stupid tattoo on his bicep. It never occurred to me to judge him as a person because of that. We were married 25 years and it was never an issue.

My adult daughter in her 40s has about five tattoos. She likes to design them herself and they are pretty much beautiful. I would never get a tattoo myself but I respect her decision for herself and can appreciate the nice art. The only thing I might question (not out loud ever) is how much she spends to get these tattoos but that too is her decision so I say nothing about it.

My son who is older than my daughter has zero tattoos. Funny thing is, in our family we simply don't get all judgmental about stuff like that. To each his own.

I am somewhat baffled by the tattooing on some people, like for instance Justin Bieber. That kind of blows my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH told me that FIL said the exact same thing recently. "I don't understand why pretty young women ruin their looks with tattoos."

And I said, yeah, first of all your dad is like all old people who can't believe the next generation has different preferences and standards and thinks theirs should remain supreme for all time. And secondly, your dad is blind to his ingrained misogyny in thinking that "pretty young women" need to give a flying fook what some stranger thinks. And my husband said, no no, of course my dad isn't misogynistic, and I said look, it's ingrained in us to think that women are supposed to behave in certain ways and earn the attention and protection of men. It's a subtle, subconscious thing, and it takes effort and self-awareness to recognize and reject it.

It's just pretty wild to think that people you don't know should care about being aesthetically pleasing to you. Hello entitlement.

Why are so few people capable of thinking abstractly when it comes to stuff like this? It has nothing to do with wanting strangers to be aesthetically pleasing to an individual person. In principle, yes, young women should as a whole not be encouraged do things to mar their beauty on purpose. Based on the answers in this thread, the tattoo very much is an expression of “screw you, if you think I’m ugly!” which is a statement in and of itself. It speaks of a petulant disdain for social restraint and lack of long-term thinking which is not a positive quality to have in a civilized, eusocial society. Has nothing to do with who does and does not get a boner from it.

This is an extremely problematic viewpoint. Women’s bodies are their own, to do with as they please. They are not a collective good.

And people’s opinions and viewpoints are their own, to do with what they please. Why is it any more wrong for them to think that it’s unnattractive then? Why do people want to control or change other people’s visceral reaction to seeing a beautiful woman scribbled on like a school desk then? Why is it any more wrong for a mother to not want that for her daughter? Just because a man *can* waste his life away playing video games and doing drugs as he pleases does it mean people are wrong for discouraging such a life and finding it unnattractive?