Why does my MIL do this?? Baby item edition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a hint to visit more. Families in other countries know that logistically there can’t be frequent visits. It’s not like American boomers who think it’s no big deal to drive for eight hours or book domestic flights frequently. She wants the items to use with or give to other family members which is culturally common. She thinks it would be easy for you to just pick up another one back in the US.

OP here with an update, It's kind of this, but with a bit of crazy twist.

Approximately 35 years ago, MIL was done having babies and stored her big baby items (stroller, crib, rocker) at her mother’s house. About ten years later (when MIL’s kids were elementary/tweens and she was well past having kids herself), her sister’s daughter had an unexpected teen pregnancy. MIL’s sister came to their mother’s house and “borrowed” my MIL’s baby crib and stroller for her 16-year-old daughter (they are poor, they really could not afford to buy these items). When MIL found out, she was angry that her sister had taken her baby things. The sister never gave the items back, claiming they broke (entirely likely—the items were 20 years old and had gone through several kids by the time her sister took them).

Fast forward to the future, the teen mom, now in her 40s, had a change-of-life baby about a year before we had our baby. When MIL found out we were expecting, MIL demanded that her niece give her the new crib and stroller that the niece bought for her change-of-life baby so MIL could use it for her grandkid/our kid. Her niece said no, but I’ll sell it to you for 100 dollars in six months when my kid isn’t using it anymore (original sales price 129 dollars).

MIL stewed over this a lot, and we told her it was fine, we have a pack n’ play and a stroller, no need to buy another.

Loooong story short, it appears that MIL wanted our baby things to start the cycle over, by having big ticket baby items that she can then have the pleasure of denying giving to her sister’s great-grandchildren (whenever they might show up). Even though her grandchild is literally still using those items, it doesn’t matter, MIL needs them for her revenge plot.

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t MIL just buy some new items to withhold from her sister’s grandkids (she’s very well-off), but the answer is, MIL is as cheap as she is vindictive.

Anyway, I hope that helps answer the question of, why do you visit your MIL only once a year?

Whew Chile!!! This is the pettiest DIL thread ever. Op, you've been wanting to get this story out for a long time right? Because this is totally a waste of space and I truly regret clicking on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Um, there’s a lot of conjecture here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants you to visit more often and leaving those things there will make it easier to travel also you do it more than once a year. Duh. When my kids were born my mom went out and bought a crib, borrowed strollers and high chairs and such all to make visiting her home as easy for us as possible. We appreciated it. But, there you go, always looking for the negative.

I mean this seems the obvious answer. Who wants to haul a clunky stroller and pack-n-play across country multiple times. Just leave it there since you know you’re coming back.

This is definitely the answer and I was immediately confused and your confusion around it to be honest. It sounds like there aren't a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings around MIL so maybe that's why. But it's really normal for grandparents to say hey leave that here (and then you can use it next time you come!) to try to make it easier on you. Both set of our parents have pack and plays that they keep at their house and one set has a stroller. Granted they got most of that stuff used from other grandparents friends or bought it, but they both have the means to do that. I know MANY friends that have bought some basic stuff to leave at gramma's so they don't have to haul it on planes etc. It's very normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a hint to visit more. Families in other countries know that logistically there can’t be frequent visits. It’s not like American boomers who think it’s no big deal to drive for eight hours or book domestic flights frequently. She wants the items to use with or give to other family members which is culturally common. She thinks it would be easy for you to just pick up another one back in the US.

OP here with an update, It's kind of this, but with a bit of crazy twist.

Approximately 35 years ago, MIL was done having babies and stored her big baby items (stroller, crib, rocker) at her mother’s house. About ten years later (when MIL’s kids were elementary/tweens and she was well past having kids herself), her sister’s daughter had an unexpected teen pregnancy. MIL’s sister came to their mother’s house and “borrowed” my MIL’s baby crib and stroller for her 16-year-old daughter (they are poor, they really could not afford to buy these items). When MIL found out, she was angry that her sister had taken her baby things. The sister never gave the items back, claiming they broke (entirely likely—the items were 20 years old and had gone through several kids by the time her sister took them).

Fast forward to the future, the teen mom, now in her 40s, had a change-of-life baby about a year before we had our baby. When MIL found out we were expecting, MIL demanded that her niece give her the new crib and stroller that the niece bought for her change-of-life baby so MIL could use it for her grandkid/our kid. Her niece said no, but I’ll sell it to you for 100 dollars in six months when my kid isn’t using it anymore (original sales price 129 dollars).

MIL stewed over this a lot, and we told her it was fine, we have a pack n’ play and a stroller, no need to buy another.

Loooong story short, it appears that MIL wanted our baby things to start the cycle over, by having big ticket baby items that she can then have the pleasure of denying giving to her sister’s great-grandchildren (whenever they might show up). Even though her grandchild is literally still using those items, it doesn’t matter, MIL needs them for her revenge plot.

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t MIL just buy some new items to withhold from her sister’s grandkids (she’s very well-off), but the answer is, MIL is as cheap as she is vindictive.

Anyway, I hope that helps answer the question of, why do you visit your MIL only once a year?

Actually no, we are thinking why the hell didn't you just ask her why the first time she asked you to leave the stuff with her? Your MIL sounds fine, you sound petty and like someone who jumps at the chance to make MIL out to be the villain. smh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a hint to visit more. Families in other countries know that logistically there can’t be frequent visits. It’s not like American boomers who think it’s no big deal to drive for eight hours or book domestic flights frequently. She wants the items to use with or give to other family members which is culturally common. She thinks it would be easy for you to just pick up another one back in the US.

OP here with an update, It's kind of this, but with a bit of crazy twist.

Approximately 35 years ago, MIL was done having babies and stored her big baby items (stroller, crib, rocker) at her mother’s house. About ten years later (when MIL’s kids were elementary/tweens and she was well past having kids herself), her sister’s daughter had an unexpected teen pregnancy. MIL’s sister came to their mother’s house and “borrowed” my MIL’s baby crib and stroller for her 16-year-old daughter (they are poor, they really could not afford to buy these items). When MIL found out, she was angry that her sister had taken her baby things. The sister never gave the items back, claiming they broke (entirely likely—the items were 20 years old and had gone through several kids by the time her sister took them).

Fast forward to the future, the teen mom, now in her 40s, had a change-of-life baby about a year before we had our baby. When MIL found out we were expecting, MIL demanded that her niece give her the new crib and stroller that the niece bought for her change-of-life baby so MIL could use it for her grandkid/our kid. Her niece said no, but I’ll sell it to you for 100 dollars in six months when my kid isn’t using it anymore (original sales price 129 dollars).

MIL stewed over this a lot, and we told her it was fine, we have a pack n’ play and a stroller, no need to buy another.

Loooong story short, it appears that MIL wanted our baby things to start the cycle over, by having big ticket baby items that she can then have the pleasure of denying giving to her sister’s great-grandchildren (whenever they might show up). Even though her grandchild is literally still using those items, it doesn’t matter, MIL needs them for her revenge plot.

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t MIL just buy some new items to withhold from her sister’s grandkids (she’s very well-off), but the answer is, MIL is as cheap as she is vindictive.

Anyway, I hope that helps answer the question of, why do you visit your MIL only once a year?

Actually no, we are thinking why the hell didn't you just ask her why the first time she asked you to leave the stuff with her? Your MIL sounds fine, you sound petty and like someone who jumps at the chance to make MIL out to be the villain. smh

She sounds fine? WTF? She sounds like a nightmare MIL. I swear there is one poster who thinks anything a MIL does is just cheeky and when MIL says jump everyone else must say how high with exuberant enthusiasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a hint to visit more. Families in other countries know that logistically there can’t be frequent visits. It’s not like American boomers who think it’s no big deal to drive for eight hours or book domestic flights frequently. She wants the items to use with or give to other family members which is culturally common. She thinks it would be easy for you to just pick up another one back in the US.

OP here with an update, It's kind of this, but with a bit of crazy twist.

Approximately 35 years ago, MIL was done having babies and stored her big baby items (stroller, crib, rocker) at her mother’s house. About ten years later (when MIL’s kids were elementary/tweens and she was well past having kids herself), her sister’s daughter had an unexpected teen pregnancy. MIL’s sister came to their mother’s house and “borrowed” my MIL’s baby crib and stroller for her 16-year-old daughter (they are poor, they really could not afford to buy these items). When MIL found out, she was angry that her sister had taken her baby things. The sister never gave the items back, claiming they broke (entirely likely—the items were 20 years old and had gone through several kids by the time her sister took them).

Fast forward to the future, the teen mom, now in her 40s, had a change-of-life baby about a year before we had our baby. When MIL found out we were expecting, MIL demanded that her niece give her the new crib and stroller that the niece bought for her change-of-life baby so MIL could use it for her grandkid/our kid. Her niece said no, but I’ll sell it to you for 100 dollars in six months when my kid isn’t using it anymore (original sales price 129 dollars).

MIL stewed over this a lot, and we told her it was fine, we have a pack n’ play and a stroller, no need to buy another.

Loooong story short, it appears that MIL wanted our baby things to start the cycle over, by having big ticket baby items that she can then have the pleasure of denying giving to her sister’s great-grandchildren (whenever they might show up). Even though her grandchild is literally still using those items, it doesn’t matter, MIL needs them for her revenge plot.

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t MIL just buy some new items to withhold from her sister’s grandkids (she’s very well-off), but the answer is, MIL is as cheap as she is vindictive.

Anyway, I hope that helps answer the question of, why do you visit your MIL only once a year?

Actually no, we are thinking why the hell didn't you just ask her why the first time she asked you to leave the stuff with her? Your MIL sounds fine, you sound petty and like someone who jumps at the chance to make MIL out to be the villain. smh

She sounds fine? WTF? She sounds like a nightmare MIL. I swear there is one poster who thinks anything a MIL does is just cheeky and when MIL says jump everyone else must say how high with exuberant enthusiasm.

So a MIL says "Why don't you leave the pack n play" to her son and DIL (according happened after maybe 3 visits). This is a nightmare? What am I missing?

[Anonymous]

Must be the same troll from the flowering cherry tree. Nobody is buying what you are selling op.

[Anonymous]

So, your MIL is not a nice person we all decided, but rather she is even more evil than your original post projected?
She was hoping to stash your baby's things so that some nefarious cousin will want them and she, in all her sickness, can say no?
Are you on meds, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a hint to visit more. Families in other countries know that logistically there can’t be frequent visits. It’s not like American boomers who think it’s no big deal to drive for eight hours or book domestic flights frequently. She wants the items to use with or give to other family members which is culturally common. She thinks it would be easy for you to just pick up another one back in the US.

OP here with an update, It's kind of this, but with a bit of crazy twist.

Approximately 35 years ago, MIL was done having babies and stored her big baby items (stroller, crib, rocker) at her mother’s house. About ten years later (when MIL’s kids were elementary/tweens and she was well past having kids herself), her sister’s daughter had an unexpected teen pregnancy. MIL’s sister came to their mother’s house and “borrowed” my MIL’s baby crib and stroller for her 16-year-old daughter (they are poor, they really could not afford to buy these items). When MIL found out, she was angry that her sister had taken her baby things. The sister never gave the items back, claiming they broke (entirely likely—the items were 20 years old and had gone through several kids by the time her sister took them).

Fast forward to the future, the teen mom, now in her 40s, had a change-of-life baby about a year before we had our baby. When MIL found out we were expecting, MIL demanded that her niece give her the new crib and stroller that the niece bought for her change-of-life baby so MIL could use it for her grandkid/our kid. Her niece said no, but I’ll sell it to you for 100 dollars in six months when my kid isn’t using it anymore (original sales price 129 dollars).

MIL stewed over this a lot, and we told her it was fine, we have a pack n’ play and a stroller, no need to buy another.

Loooong story short, it appears that MIL wanted our baby things to start the cycle over, by having big ticket baby items that she can then have the pleasure of denying giving to her sister’s great-grandchildren (whenever they might show up). Even though her grandchild is literally still using those items, it doesn’t matter, MIL needs them for her revenge plot.

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t MIL just buy some new items to withhold from her sister’s grandkids (she’s very well-off), but the answer is, MIL is as cheap as she is vindictive.

Anyway, I hope that helps answer the question of, why do you visit your MIL only once a year?

Actually no, we are thinking why the hell didn't you just ask her why the first time she asked you to leave the stuff with her? Your MIL sounds fine, you sound petty and like someone who jumps at the chance to make MIL out to be the villain. smh

She sounds fine? WTF? She sounds like a nightmare MIL. I swear there is one poster who thinks anything a MIL does is just cheeky and when MIL says jump everyone else must say how high with exuberant enthusiasm.

So a MIL says "Why don't you leave the pack n play" to her son and DIL (according happened after maybe 3 visits). This is a nightmare? What am I missing?

OP came back with some imaginary revenge plot on her MIL's part.... OP is nuts and a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a hint to visit more. Families in other countries know that logistically there can’t be frequent visits. It’s not like American boomers who think it’s no big deal to drive for eight hours or book domestic flights frequently. She wants the items to use with or give to other family members which is culturally common. She thinks it would be easy for you to just pick up another one back in the US.

OP here with an update, It's kind of this, but with a bit of crazy twist.

Approximately 35 years ago, MIL was done having babies and stored her big baby items (stroller, crib, rocker) at her mother’s house. About ten years later (when MIL’s kids were elementary/tweens and she was well past having kids herself), her sister’s daughter had an unexpected teen pregnancy. MIL’s sister came to their mother’s house and “borrowed” my MIL’s baby crib and stroller for her 16-year-old daughter (they are poor, they really could not afford to buy these items). When MIL found out, she was angry that her sister had taken her baby things. The sister never gave the items back, claiming they broke (entirely likely—the items were 20 years old and had gone through several kids by the time her sister took them).

Fast forward to the future, the teen mom, now in her 40s, had a change-of-life baby about a year before we had our baby. When MIL found out we were expecting, MIL demanded that her niece give her the new crib and stroller that the niece bought for her change-of-life baby so MIL could use it for her grandkid/our kid. Her niece said no, but I’ll sell it to you for 100 dollars in six months when my kid isn’t using it anymore (original sales price 129 dollars).

MIL stewed over this a lot, and we told her it was fine, we have a pack n’ play and a stroller, no need to buy another.

Loooong story short, it appears that MIL wanted our baby things to start the cycle over, by having big ticket baby items that she can then have the pleasure of denying giving to her sister’s great-grandchildren (whenever they might show up). Even though her grandchild is literally still using those items, it doesn’t matter, MIL needs them for her revenge plot.

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t MIL just buy some new items to withhold from her sister’s grandkids (she’s very well-off), but the answer is, MIL is as cheap as she is vindictive.

Anyway, I hope that helps answer the question of, why do you visit your MIL only once a year?

Actually no, we are thinking why the hell didn't you just ask her why the first time she asked you to leave the stuff with her? Your MIL sounds fine, you sound petty and like someone who jumps at the chance to make MIL out to be the villain. smh

She sounds fine? WTF? She sounds like a nightmare MIL. I swear there is one poster who thinks anything a MIL does is just cheeky and when MIL says jump everyone else must say how high with exuberant enthusiasm.

So a MIL says "Why don't you leave the pack n play" to her son and DIL (according happened after maybe 3 visits). This is a nightmare? What am I missing?

OP came back with some imaginary revenge plot on her MIL's part.... OP is nuts and a troll.

Ding, ding!

[Anonymous]

I agree with those saying she would like to make it easier for you to visit. I have a few things I would love to leave at my ILs to make visits easier on us, but it feels rude to take up storage space at her house without her offering first. So I personally would love it if she would say “you should leave that drying rack here”. But of course I can also understand why you would not want to fork out for a second pack and play! Those things aren’t cheap!

My mom found a lot of baby gear for her grandkids at yard sales or through free cycle. Maybe you can suggest that MIL check those out before your next visit if you trust her judgment on not bringing home something unsafe or gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My god, you people get annoyed if MIL breathes wrong. 🙄

Hi evil mil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s a hint to visit more. Families in other countries know that logistically there can’t be frequent visits. It’s not like American boomers who think it’s no big deal to drive for eight hours or book domestic flights frequently. She wants the items to use with or give to other family members which is culturally common. She thinks it would be easy for you to just pick up another one back in the US.

OP here with an update, It's kind of this, but with a bit of crazy twist.

Approximately 35 years ago, MIL was done having babies and stored her big baby items (stroller, crib, rocker) at her mother’s house. About ten years later (when MIL’s kids were elementary/tweens and she was well past having kids herself), her sister’s daughter had an unexpected teen pregnancy. MIL’s sister came to their mother’s house and “borrowed” my MIL’s baby crib and stroller for her 16-year-old daughter (they are poor, they really could not afford to buy these items). When MIL found out, she was angry that her sister had taken her baby things. The sister never gave the items back, claiming they broke (entirely likely—the items were 20 years old and had gone through several kids by the time her sister took them).

Fast forward to the future, the teen mom, now in her 40s, had a change-of-life baby about a year before we had our baby. When MIL found out we were expecting, MIL demanded that her niece give her the new crib and stroller that the niece bought for her change-of-life baby so MIL could use it for her grandkid/our kid. Her niece said no, but I’ll sell it to you for 100 dollars in six months when my kid isn’t using it anymore (original sales price 129 dollars).

MIL stewed over this a lot, and we told her it was fine, we have a pack n’ play and a stroller, no need to buy another.

Loooong story short, it appears that MIL wanted our baby things to start the cycle over, by having big ticket baby items that she can then have the pleasure of denying giving to her sister’s great-grandchildren (whenever they might show up). Even though her grandchild is literally still using those items, it doesn’t matter, MIL needs them for her revenge plot.

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t MIL just buy some new items to withhold from her sister’s grandkids (she’s very well-off), but the answer is, MIL is as cheap as she is vindictive.

Anyway, I hope that helps answer the question of, why do you visit your MIL only once a year?

Sounds like something my mother would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ask her!

this

But now OP is going to have to wait an entire year to ask.

If only there were a way to communicate with people over long distances...

[Anonymous]

It makes her feel like she actively has a baby in her life.

Visit her more if you can and don't assume the worst.